When Worlds Collide
by Gweatherwax
Summary: Six years after dealing with the Konoha Council, Naruto is Rokudaime and has to deal with the destiny of his children, his own shortcomings, and the return of an ancient threat. **Sequel to Life Anew, can't be read as a separate piece. Part 3 of the Sage Wisdom series**. NaruSasuNaru SLASH/YAOI. Mature themes.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Please leave a review, I'd love to know what you think :D**

**WARNINGS **

**I ****do not own the Naruto series or its characters. However, all OCs and AU content is mine. **

Beware of the giant lemon right at the beginning. It is part of the plot construction, but you can skip it if it offends your delicate sensibilities (although, if you're here, you probably know what to expect).

**If you didn't read Sage's Wisdom and Life Anew, go back and read them before you start this story, you won't get to understand it without that.**

This story has EXPLICIT Male to Male sex and non-explicit M/M/F relationship. **Got a problem with homosexuality or porn? Please leave. M rating exists for a reason.**

Naruto and Sasuke are no longer boys in this story; they're both 24 years old.

Expect OOC behavior from many of the characters, due to issues resolved in Lie Anew and other issues that come up.

Also, expect gore. And sadomasochistic behavior. And humor. O well, if you've read the previous installments you already have a clue.

Ashi is fourteen years old, Amachi is thirteen, and Ishoo is ten years old in the beginning of this story. **HOWEVER, **Amachi's and Ishoo's biological and psychological growth does not match their chronological ages, as they aren't entirely human and grow and age faster than ordinary kids**. **Biologically and psychologically,** both twins are to be considered around fourteen to fifteen years old.**

* * *

><p>The first thing Shikamaru did when he was informed that Naruto would be officially appointed to be Hokage was completely soundproof the Hokage office, to spare himself at least some trouble.<p>

The first thing Sai did was getting the sturdiest swiveling chair available anywhere, and having it reinforced, because Shikamaru had forgotten about that and Sai definitely did not want the aggravation.

On inauguration day, Sakura slipped a bottle and an ointment tube on the first drawer, and wondered if there would be anything BUT ramen at the reception.

After the festivities were over, and everyone else had retired for the day, the Rokudaime entered his office, carrying a large box, which he set on the floor, and then let his body fall on the chair with a sigh.

"Finally, dattebayo" He muttered, taking off the hat.

"Already tired, dobe?"

Naruto jumped up and put his hand on his chest as he saw Sasuke coming from the private room next to the office, gorgeous in his ITR special ops official black and blue garb. "What the hell Teme, you almost gave me a heart attack!"

Sasuke snickered at Naruto's comical face as he walked to the desk.

"Where the hell did you come in from anyway? Last I saw you, you were taking the kids home!" Naruto asked, sitting back on the chair and panting.

"Secret entrance" Sasuke commented, sitting on his lap and leaning in for a kiss.

Naruto hesitated at first, but gave in when Sasuke started sucking on his lower lip.

"Mmmmmm teme, are you trying to get me booted out of office before the first day?" He moaned when Sasuke finally drew back.

"No…" his mate whispered to him while reaching under his shirt, "the room has been soundproofed for over a week now, _Rokudaime-sama_" he whispered again in a husky voice, untying his pants and latching his mouth onto his neck.

Naruto felt a shiver run down his back at the way Sasuke used the title, and gulped. Sasuke gave a low chuckle against his throat.

Naruto had the familiar sensation of his brain closing down for the night, when his beloved started rubbing a cheek on his short beard, sighing, gasping and writhing against him in the process.

It was amazing, the power of facial hair over that man. No matter how tired they were, how pissed-off Sasuke was at him, all he needed to do was run his chin over the man's neck and he'd go crazy.

"So nobody can hear us, then?" He asked.

Sasuke shook his head. "No, _Hokage-sama_. We can do whatever we want tonight."

It wasn't long before clothes flew everywhere.

"Wait, wait… put the robes back on" Sasuke whispered after a kiss, and Naruto gave him a shit eating grin.

"Yatta! Hentai!" he giggled while slipping on the robe; the grin faded when he turned back, and saw Sasuke sprawled over the desk. He swallowed dry, eating the man with his eyes.

The years had been extremely kind to Sasuke, though they were both still young at twenty-four. He had matured into an even sexier version of his younger self, more muscled (much to Naruto's contentment), but still lithe and slimmer than the blonde, who in turn had reached him in height (they both ended up a sliver under six feet tall), but surpassed in muscle mass and body hair (much to Sasuke's contentment and sometimes small envy, for the brunette's genes had refused to grant him hardly any of that, leaving him with a perpetual boyish look instead).

Naruto stood between his legs and pulled him up by his hands. He kissed his open mouth and grabbed his hips, as Sasuke sucked greedily on his tongue and put his legs around his waist.

Naruto pushed him back on the desk and latched on his pulse, earning himself a moan as the brunette pulled him closer.

"Sasuke", he purred, "don't tempt me, if I get what I really want tonight I'll be fucking you so hard", he licked his way down and grabbed a nipple in his teeth, "on every damn surface", he thrust against him, smiling when he heard a gasp, "so many times, your ass will clench every time I call you here", he finished, before biting the side of his waist, making him buck.

"D-don't… ahhhhh… make promises you can't keep", Sasuke replied in a deep, lust filled voice, "Usuratonkachi-_sama_", he taunted, raising his head and giving Naruto a challenging look.

Naruto narrowed his eyes and licked his way down, pulling the chair behind him to sit as he began sucking on the man's cock, resting pale thighs up on his own shoulders.

Having made himself comfortable, he took his sweet time licking, nibbling and sucking the hard cock in front of him.

"Haaaa… Naruto, you damn tease… hurry up and give it to me!" Sasuke complained, thrusting up.

"I'm the Hokage now, I can tease as much as I want" Naruto growled, pushing his legs up. "Hold your knees", he commanded with a deep voice.

"Yes, _Rokudaime-sama_", Sasuke said in a husky tone, and cried out when Naruto latched his mouth on his sensitive entrance. He raised his head to see his Hokage sucking him greedily and looking right back with an intense expression in his eyes. He licked his lips slowly and threw his head back when he felt a warm tongue breach him in response.

"Naruto…" he breathed, and reached down, only to have his hand pinned back on his knee.

"Beg your Hokage." Naruto commanded.

"What? No!" Sasuke exclaimed.

Naruto parted his cheeks wider with his hands and gave him a long, wet lick, smiling at the shuddering it provoked.

"I can do this all night, you know." He taunted, and started thrusting into him with his tongue.

Sasuke moaned, huffed, squirmed and cried out.

"I am not begging!" he growled.

Naruto began teasing him with one finger.

"Sorry, teme, what was that?"

Sasuke wailed when he felt another finger join the first.

"First drawer on the right and I am NOT begging, you twat!" he panted. Naruto opened and got the bottle, coating his two fingers and sliding them inside, hitting his prostate dead on.

"Get on with it, Naruto!" Sasuke whined and bucked.

"You know, I am serious about the begging part, bastard" Naruto purred, scissoring him. When Sasuke didn't respond to that, he began massaging his sweet spot.

"Oh, gods, fine, please, _Hokage-sama_, you sadist, inconsiderate, conceited prick!" Sasuke screamed five excruciating minutes later.

Naruto grinned and stood up, sheathing his cock in one hard thrust. Sasuke grabbed the edge of the desk with both hands and breathed slowly for a minute before pushing his hips against the blonde.

"You're lucky I want you to come inside me so many times tonight, _Rokudaime-sama_, to taste you on the back of my throat without blowing you… that I'm willing to beg your sorry ass for it… you better give it to me hard, usuratonkachi, because I am NEVER begging you again for as long as I live. And I will get you for this." He snarled in a husky whisper before biting Naruto's cheek deep enough to mark.

That night, Naruto gave Sasuke the pounding of his life.

He first took him on the desk, thrusting so hard that the man had to dig his nails on the edge of the desk to prevent from falling over, when they both came for the first time.

Then he pulled him to the floor and rammed into him nonstop on all fours around the office until their knees were raw from carpet burns, biting his back, his shoulder, his neck and pulling his head back by his hair, to put fingers in his mouth when Sasuke came for the fifth time.

"Faster…" Sasuke panted when Naruto turned him around and heaved him bodily against the door to continue the merciless assault on his ass.

"Harder!" He yelled between orgasms, as he was pushed from behind onto a wall, with one of his legs being held up, while having his prostate ruthlessly slammed.

"More…" he mewled between kisses, as he was propped against the window, his legs pushed up to his neck, his cock pressed deliciously between their cum-covered bodies.

His speech was reduced to incoherent gasps and screams as he was taken straddling the sink in front of the bathroom mirror, watching Naruto's intent gaze on it as he came yet again.

"Had enough?" the Hokage asked breathlessly on his chair as the dawn approached, giving Sasuke a last thrust. The blonde giggled as his beloved let his head fall back on his shoulder bonelessly, and held him tight so he wouldn't slip from his lap.

Sasuke managed to mumble a weak "Hn", before reaching for the drawer, pulling out the ointment tube and waving it in front of Naruto's face in lieu of a white flag.

"Totally worth the year training with Bushy Brows, huh?" Naruto chuckled and kissed his throat.

* * *

><p>If anyone could imagine what the Elemental nations would look like eight years after the war, they would probably never have thought it would be this.<p>

Kakashi walked through the well-lit streets toward the special training facilities built for the Uchiha-Uzumaki kids and the special undercover Rescue and Retrieval teams they had helped build over the years.

He looked up at the profusion of street lights with a smile. That had been one of the small revolutions that the two not-quite-human kids had created and spread just about everywhere.

In six years, the Elemental countries had slowly built bonds with Osun and Sango, a couple of nations from the Lands of Eternal Summer, stemmed from communications between Amachi and various conduit priests and shamans from those countries. Both countries were interested in biological research, especially concerning the plant and marine life of the northern continent, and offered to trade their own ridiculously advanced technological skills to help the Shinobi Alliance to reinforce its borders against the budding empire the Land of Swamp had been forming in the west of the continent.

The first thing that stemmed from the agreements was the use of solar and wind power as energy sources.

Kakashi couldn't fathom how it was possible, but the engineers in Konoha and Rain had all but fallen in love with the idea of having unending stores of energy to play around with.

As soon as Amachi had brought up the possibility of using glass and anthocyanins to capture and store up solar energy for lighting and heating, scientists had gone crazy and all but demanded that the Fire Country be deemed as neutral grounds for scientific development by all nations, to be funded with a parcel of the profits made from all the non-military technologies to be developed there.

The Daimyo, having proved to be a cunning bastard that only hid under a soft dumb exterior since the former Council business six years before, agreed wholeheartedly to the idea and gave a huge chunk of his own private land for the founding of the first Alliance University, where scientists from all nations worked and generated ridiculous amounts of wealth that had propelled even tiny ninja-less nations to prominent positions.

Military technology, on the other hand, was developed on the ninja villages themselves, which weren't much kept as local defense anymore, but rather as branches of a large collective defense system that protected all the lands east of the Earth Country, especially since word had come that the Land of Swamps had begun not only annexing the neighboring countries but also had formed a few alliances of its own with Omungo, one of the most bellicose countries in the other continent, which had not yet developed amazing military technologies of its own but more than made up for it in soldier numbers.

Kakashi shivered when he remembered the one skirmish he had been in, when his assault team had rescued the priestess Shion and the couple dozen acolytes that remained when Swamp had taken over the Land of Demons. The bloodthirsty soldiers had simply thrown themselves at them in such large numbers that even with Ishoo's cloaking techniques and the rest of the team's crowd control abilities they had lost a couple of important jounin and almost all of Shion's acolytes; Kakashi himself had only survived because the girl had slit his throat herself when they were ambushed and thus claimed his body with her energy to be rebuilt later.

Sometimes he woke up in the middle of the night just to be sure his head wasn't dangling anymore.

"Yo, Ero-jiji!"

Kakashi was shaken out of his reverie by the irreverent call. Amachi was leaning outside a large earthen dome.

"Stop calling me that, brat", he replied affectionately, looking up at the taller boy. Amachi was all of six feet tall at thirteen years old, not that he looked that young. Konoha shinobi were usually all knees and elbows at that age, but Amachi had already developed strong muscles in all the right places. Genin, chunnin and even most jounin kunoichi went crazy everywhere he showed up, giving him hungry, unashamedly lustful looks that made Sasuke's old fangirls look like chaste nuns.

It didn't help that the boy basked in the attention and gave them a silent, smiling and thorough once-over whenever he saw them either, the pervert.

"I thought you brats were home already after all that partying and such", Kakashi asked nonchalantly.

"I wanted to have some time out with myself." Amachi answered in the same tone.

Kakashi nodded, watching the subtle changes of expression that told of the inner exchange going on his – their – mind with his arms crossed.

Six years of daily contact with the Uchiha-Uzumaki kids had taught him to understand them as the single soul they were. Even though each body had a separate mind of sorts, they still were able to share thought processes when close together, and especially when one of them was asleep.

Whatever Ishoo and Amachi were discussing now, it was worrying them.

"Spit it out." Kakashi ordered, and swallowed a smirk at the faint deer in the headlights look he got, before the teen regained his composure.

"Er. It's nee-chan. Her body is maturing. Uhm. We think."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

"You think?"

"It's weird. I mean, we know the theory of how it could happen, but… the body feels… strange." The boy seemed to grope for words.

"I think you have to talk to Sakura."

"Can you get us to talk to her in private? I don't want to get our dads worried." Amachi asked.

"Or proud, yuck." The second statement was blurted out and Kakashi snorted.

"Hmmm… fine. I guess she does owe me one*, and hell knows I owe you, so… I'll set you up." Kakashi grinned at them under the mask. "Better get home, though, before the Hokage's Wifezilla decides to put you on curfew. Again."

Amachi thanked him, obviously relieved, and ran home.

**A/N:**

ITR - Intelligence Technology Research: it replaces the Konoha Torture and Interrogation Force. Further explanation in coming chapters.

* - party at Naruto's house incident. Yes, Kakashi will milk that cow to the last drop.


	2. Chapter 2

The Konoha Council met three weeks later.

The elders had long since been substituted by the heads of the major clans, a few other high-ranking prominent figures from the fourth ninja war effort, one representative from the village civilians and a permanent councilor to the Daimyo himself.

Naruto went into the conference room and took his place on the head of the large table. It had actually been his idea to refurbish the Council quarters to something more professional looking. After all, the whole "Mah homies gonna help me" situation with the Sandaime and his former team mates had backfired like nobody's business.

"So, what do we have today besides instating Tsunade in the Council?" He asked his assistant.

Shikamaru raised his eyes at him and he frowned. All the years working together had made the two almost able to read each other's thoughts. Something was up.

"We have a new report from the University concerning the recent changes in the sea currents, and our people at Sango said we might have to evacuate Wave until the end of the month, there's been another series of earthquakes at Gods Barrier."

"Oh, shit." Naruto sat down with a sigh. "Can't we have ONE decade of peace? I mean, just one little ten year span without something or somebody trying to tear this continent apart? Isn't it enough we have to deal with a horde of bloodthirsty insane murderers eating up the west lands like locusts?"

"Apparently not", Tsunade entered and bowed as everyone rose to greet her. "Chickening out already, brat?" She smirked at him.

Naruto scowled, but pulled the chair on his left side for her.

"What else?" He asked, sitting back down.

"There's the matter of the Chunnin exams this year, all the other nations have declined to host it and they're supposed to be held in two months." The Daimyo representative, a shrewd man in his fifties called Yahiko, mentioned.

Naruto raised one eyebrow to them. "Is that because of the R&R teams?"

Hyashi gave him a stern look. "Probably. The, er, unconventional tactics they used at the last rescue didn't sit well with many of the other villages."

"Look, everybody who was a Chunnin at the war took the Jounin exams. Me and Sasuke took BOTH exams after the war. Hell, I took the Chunnin exam THRICE. The R&R teams deserve to be recognized as official rank through the same evaluation system." Naruto argued.

"I actually agree, but the other countries are afraid of the political repercussions of the main team performing in public." Guy said.

"Why, because they don't rely on chakra? Come on, Lee is a Jounin and he never did!"

"No, because they don't want people to start doubting their own ninja. No matter how much all the Kages and Daimyos trust the kids, there's a large parcel of the population in the East that just fears the power they have because, no offense, Naruto, even you and Sasuke might be taken out by a coordinated effort. In their case, that is debatable, to say the least." A thoughtful Ichiraku Teuchi, who had been elected to represent the civilians, stated the last.

Naruto fidgeted.

"Look, it's not because of your kids either. Hell, I'm Ashi's grandmother and I'm far from figuring out that kid." Tsume said.

"All the current Genin have come way out of the usual curve, true enough. Half the questions they come up with are things I've never heard from anyone" Iruka commented in a tired tone. "The Academy instructors have been working with all the main chief animal summons and the people at the University nonstop, and still the kids come up with more intricate stuff every day. It's like _somebody_" he gave Naruto a cursory glance "put concentrated brain juice in the water or something".

"I know that. Gaara sent me a letter complaining that the weapons his Gennin have been developing at their Academy are too sophisticated for the Jounin to understand. It's not OUR problem, it's pretty much everyone's." Naruto gave them all a tired look. "Fine, we'll host the exams again this year. But let's make it an official Kage meeting also; we can't keep hiding the fact that times are changing no matter how uneasy that makes people feel."

"And regarding the Wave issue… oh well, let's send messages to all the neighboring countries again and get them out of there, it's better we do it now and it turns out to be just a planetary fart than we send water and earth jutsu ninja like they tried to use last time and the Alliance loses even more jounin." Naruto compromised.

"What if Swamp decides to send a team this year?" Shikamaru asked.

"Let them." Naruto said in a dark tone. "But warn Intel to keep 24 hour surveillance."

* * *

><p>Sakura looked at the numbers again.<p>

"This can't be right."

"No shit" Ishoo sneered. The two females were sitting in one of the safe rooms in the Hokage monument, with Amachi and Ashi guarding outside.

"Well, at least now I know what's synchronizing all the village women's cycles. Still, your body always at least seemed to follow regular physiology, besides the rapid growth rate and the absence of a chakra system. If this energy production continues on your next cycle…" Sakura shook her head in disbelief.

"It's not like this body was made to last this long, anyway." Ishoo sighed.

"I didn't say it will kill you" Sakura warned.

"Sakura-chan, if this gets worse I think _something_ is going to die next month. I mean, come on" The girl picked out a crystal slab from the table and stretched her hand out. The crystal cracked and fell apart in a million pieces. "I can even see _you_ resonate to it. There's got to be something you can do."

"Has Amachi-kun shown any, er, symptoms?" Sakura asked on a hunch.

"No, the hormones seem normal in his body. But Ashi-baka's acting weird. I think he's trying to turn down his senses, I smell ointment on his nose like all the time. We tried to make him trade teams with Akimichi Hariko, but he beat the crap out of us and said he'll do something stupid so our families have to marry the three of us together if we tried to turn him away again, that dumbass." The girl blushed and scowled.

Sakura couldn't hold back the laughter, the girl looked so cute. "Ashi-kun beat the crap out of both of you?"

Kiba's nephew was the strangest fruit of the Inuzuka tree. Not only was he a veritable genius, but his animal bond had never been developed with one particular dog of wolf. Instead, he had decided to take his kekkei genkai to a whole different level, using it to research and manipulate human instincts and reactions; he had also become fascinated with Juugo's relationship with animals, and had soon come to develop a similar strategy, though while Juugo communicated better with small delicate beings like birds and rabbits, Ashi had simply broken into the Forbidden forest with the Uchiha-Uzumaki twins and learned how to "make friends" with "harmless" things like tigers, giant bugs, centipedes, spiders, rabid bears and the like.

He was also the only person besides Kakashi who could easily understand the strange nature of the twins, treating them both exactly the same way; even calling and referring to both of them as his koishii (which they had sort of gotten used to, after spending the whole of his thirteenth year, which had finished last month, punching the boy's lights out every time he said it) instead of their names. They had retaliated by dropping the –kun honorific and adding a permanent –baka to his name, which the stubborn Inuzuka didn't seem to mind at all.

"Yeah. But he got a tiger out to help him, it wasn't like he could beat me in a _fair_ fight."

Sakura snickered at the obvious cheat move. Felines and owls were the only animals that were apparently immune to the twins' cloaking techniques, and felines were actually so attracted to Ishoo's frequency range of energy they would jump on top of her and curl around demanding she petted them. It was Ashi's job to prevent that kind of liability when they worked together, but the Inuzuka didn't think twice to make use of it in his own interest, it seemed.

"Well… what I can do for you now is give you a mild sedative to try to make you less uncomfortable, and I'll have you put some red meat on your diet." Ishoo groaned at that.

"Anyway, I want to follow you up every week for the next month, so we can have better data to work with this issue." Sakura sighed.

"Ok. Where do you want to meet then? It's not like you can be comfortable coming up here all the time" Ishoo pointed at Sakura's large belly.

"Are you sure you don't want your dads to know about this? It would be easier to go to your house." Sakura said, and gave her a look.

Ishoo groaned. "Sakura-chan, Tou-chan and Papa don't even know about the joke nickname thing with Ashi-baka, if they know about this they are gonna go _SPARE_! They think I'm some kind of fragile clueless little princess!"

* * *

><p>Amachi looked sideways and raised an eyebrow at the ruffled Inuzuka.<p>

"You doing ok, man?"

Ashi gave him a scowl. "I can take this if you shut your fucking mouth, koishii." He rubbed more ointment on his nose.

"We did tell you not to come with, Ashi-baka." Amachi gave him another side look, not bothered by his distress anymore.

Ashi muttered under his breath, and blushed.

"How long can Sakura-chan take in there?" He complained, fidgeting.

"You can still trade with Hariko-chan, Ashi-baka."

"Shut up and stop calling me that!"

"Stop calling me koishii, then."

"No."

"Damn it, Ashi-baka!"

"You're my pack, I'm responsible for you. Deal with it, koishii."

Amachi turned to him and crossed his arms.

"What? Did you fall on your head when you woke up? We're team mates. Please note the emphasis on TEAM, dog-boy. Kakashi is in it, are you gonna call _him_ koishii too?"

"Shut up, koishii. I'm alpha, and I'm worried about you."

"No, you're not; you're letting your hormones talk. And that's why you have to change teams."

"I am not letting some damn Akimichi bitch compromise your safety."

"Compromise MY safety? What the fuck do you think we are?"

"Mine. Now shut the fuck up or I'll claim you in front of the whole village."

"I will kick your ass to the other side of Gods Barrier, Ashi-baka! You're not the boss of me, crazy ass son of a bitch!"

* * *

><p>Sakura poked the young kunoichi. "Oi, Ishoo-chan, is anything wrong?"<p>

"Ashi-baka is throwing a tantrum again. Can you give him some of those sedatives too? Like, shoot them up his butt when he's not looking or something?"

The med nin laughed. "Oh come on, it's cute that he's interested in you, you're pretty too!"

"He's not interested, he's crazy. I can't even look at anybody, he goes batshit."

"Um, but you" and here Sakura made a broad gesture to include the other "twin", "look at EVERYBODY. He's just jealous."

"He's not supposed to be jealous! Fine, I do look, but It's just the hormones, it's not like I'm looking for a mate. I wasn't made for that."

"You might think so, but doesn't he move you even a little bit?"

* * *

><p>"You do that, and I'll bounce right back, koishii. I've tamed much more aggressive animals than you." Ashi snarled, coming closer.<p>

"Will you hark at the boy, I am NOT an animal you can tame, kono-yarou!" Amachi sneered at him.

"Oh, you're not? You think you're half immune to all this… these hormones? Like I don't have to put up with you looking back at every damn bitch that throws her underwear at your face!" Ashi screamed back.

"So what? It's just looking, it's not like both my bodies are out of control!" Amachi put a finger on the Inuzuka's face.

The boy froze for a moment, and then kissed him.

* * *

><p>"OH NO YOU DON'T, ASHI-BAKA!" Ishoo turned red and screamed suddenly, storming out of the room. Sakura sighed and followed, fanning herself with her clipboard. She came out of the room just in time to see the older boy flying across the hallway from a well-placed punch in the face.<p>

"Sakura-chan, we'll be going to get those sedatives now." Amachi said, "And you" Ishoo pointed at Ashi with a trembling finger, "will get a hold on yourself before I knock all your teeth off, understand? GO HOME!"

Sakura held her laughter until they left her back at the hospital, noticing that Ashi followed at what he deemed was a safe distance. She didn't catch both twins touching their lips briefly, with wondering eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

Naruto raised his head at the knocking on the door. "Get in!"

The twins came into the office for the first time looking around with some interest.

"Oi, Oyaji, can we get some money for groceries?" Amachi asked.

"Sheesh, and here was I thinking you came to say hello to your poor tired father, invite me to ramen or something, but noooo, all you want from me is Gama-chan…" Naruto complained.

Ishoo raised an eyebrow.

"If you and Tsunade baa-chan weren't so skimpy with our pay, we wouldn't have to ask, you know. Not that I really want it either, but Sakura-chan said I have to eat some red meat, so Aniki is cooking tonight." She sat on his lap and kissed his cheek.

Naruto gave an interested grin. "Oh, really?" He frowned. "Wait, Sakura-chan told you to eat beef? Are you all right?"

"Yeah, she just said I need some more protein for my growth needs, and it has to be red meat or soybeans. And since I hate soybeans more than I hate red meat, then…" She shrugged.

Naruto gave her a side look. "Wait, Sakura-chan said you have to grow MORE? You're almost as tall as she is already!"

The twins scowled, but chuckled afterwards. "Oi, Oyaji, not that kind of growth."

Amachi motioned over his chest. "More kind of this", the boy laughed.

"Oh." Naruto blushed. "Oh!" He blushed some more and looked startled at his daughter.

"Already? Awwwwwwwwwww my little girl is gonna be all grown up!" He hugged her.

She deepened her scowl and blushed. "Hn."

"Oh, by the way, you're taking the Chunnin exams in two months' time, we're hosting." He beamed at them.

"Seriously? Finally!" Both exclaimed in relief.

"Yeah, bout time you two started getting some real money, paying some bills…" Naruto said in a mock serious tone.

"Moving out…" the kids replied, poker-faced.

"Whaaaaaa? And leave me all alone with that stuck up prick you call a father? Noooooooo…." He squealed, sticking his tongue out and pretending to fall dead against the chair, reveling in the twin laughter that followed.

* * *

><p>Kiba had been heading home from a mission when he saw Ashi come from a side street, muttering to himself.<p>

"Hey runt! You talking to yourself now?" He laughed as Akamaru barked and jumped the boy.

The younger Inuzuka gave him a rueful look.

"None of your business, uncle."

Kiba noticed his nephew's bruised face.

"What happened, couldn't dodge quick enough in training?"

Ashi grunted.

"No, couldn't dodge fast enough after stealing a kiss." He said, massaging his sore cheek.

Kiba frowned at him.

"Ashi, have you got a deathwish, boy?"

"Do you want me to keep on trusting you with this or would you rather I clam up?" The teen growled. Inuzukas were a tight family, and youngsters usually turned to an older family male for advice. Since Ashi's father had died in the war, he had turned to his uncle often.

Kiba threw an arm over his shoulder and Akamaru whined, pawing the teenager.

"I'm worried about you, you know. If word reaches Naruto about this infatuation of yours, well, I think he MIGHT not kick your ass to the next dimension before hearing you out, but Sasuke will make sashimi out of your wiener if he get to you first; I told you already, he's crazy, man. Why can't you find a normal, nice girl, or boy, whatever? I mean, look at your face."

"Koishii won't tell anyone. Besides, it was worth it. And it's NOT an infatuation, koishii is my pack." The boy smiled.

Kiba sighed. "As long as it's the only one, then. You can't keep getting in trouble with the Chuunin exams coming." He said cocking a brow.

The boy stared at him and then jumped up in excitement.

"What? Hell yeah! About time! When did you hear about this?"

"I ran into Kakashi on my way in, he told me preparations are starting tomorrow, exam comes in two months, here in Konoha."

The boy cartwheeled on the road, screaming in joy, and jumped up playing with Akamaru for the rest of their way home.

* * *

><p>Sasuke was just about dragging his tired ass home that night, and could only groan as he met Naruto on his way.<p>

"Oi teme!" The Rokudaime all but jumped over him. "Just as well as I caught you here, I got a mission for you."

Sasuke groaned again and turned to the electric blonde as they fell in step together.

"Dobe, it's 11 pm. M'shift is OVER. M'tired, so unless you carry me home, y'can tell me tomorrow."

Naruto looked at the bags under his eyes. "Fine!" he leapt ahead and crouched down. "Giddy up, then."

Sasuke stopped and stared at him with weary eyes. "Dunno if m'supposed to be flattered or scared" he mumbled, but let his body sag on top of the Hokage's anyway. "Ok, what'choo want?"

Naruto rose up and started running.

"Chunnin exams in two months, we're hosting them, Swamp might send people over. I need you nutcases at Intel to keep them in check." He said in a low voice.

Sasuke mentally whipped his gears into working again. "Ok. By the way, we have a new toy running up for you to inspect."

Naruto gave him a glance over the shoulder. "That's what got you all pooped, then, huh?" Sasuke always came home exhausted after a pre-release testing day, as the engineers made him use all of his abilities nonstop for hours on end. He loved working with them, having found in the intellectual work of devising ninja-proof intelligence gathering devices and strategies a stimulating challenge (not to mention testing and setting up defense systems all over the east side of the continent), but it was back breaking work.

"Hn." Sasuke responded, burying his face on Naruto's neck and closing his eyes.

"Teme?" Naruto asked as they reached the house.

Sasuke snored.

"Come on teme, we're home, wake up."

*_snore_*

"Dude, I'm serious, get up."

Sasuke drooled on his neck.

Naruto rolled his eyes and dropped him on the floor at the same time Amachi opened the door for them.

"Booze or work?" The boy asked with a smirk.

"Work. Help an old man out, will ya?" Naruto responded, grabbing one of Sasuke's arms. Amachi helped him drag the man to the couch.

"Good, if it was booze he'd have to go without my _tomato sauce_" the smirking boy said the last in a deeper voice, on Sasuke's ear.

"Wha? Where?" Sasuke sat up immediately.

Naruto and Amachi snickered at him.

"Get up, Chichi, food's on the oven, I made us stuffed peppers. Help yourselves to it, I'm going to bed. Kakashi gonna chew me out if we get late for training." The teen offered Sasuke a hand.

"Where's m'tomato soss?" Sasuke asked while rubbing his eyes.

"On the stove, two pans, yours is the left one. Right one is cheese sauce. Night!" Amachi said, before leaving.

Naruto was already turning the fire on. "Damn, this smells good." He turned to Sasuke, as the man dropped on a chair. "I think you need a vacation, ttebayo. What the hell are you guys testing anyway?"

"Flying mechanical surveillance devices. Been trying to outwit the damn things all day, must've run a million damn miles. Can't find or destroy them easily either, they're like this size." Sasuke opened his hands about a palm apart. "Almost drove me crazy, damn Mosquitoes."

"Mosquitoes?"

"Yeah, it's what we named them."

Naruto served the food and put a plate in front of Sasuke before sitting down.

He snorted as he picked up his spoon to cut into the roasted stuffed pepper, at the keening noises coming from the other side of the table as Sasuke licked the thick tomato sauce from the spoon.

"Oi, wanna spar tomorrow morning? I'm working at home, Shika's gonna send somebody with the paperwork." He said.

Sasuke looked up at him wistfully.

"That would actually be nice, we could use one of the domes, get some rust off your ninjutsu."

Naruto threw a napkin at him. "Hey! My ninjutsu is NOT rusty, teme!"

"Hn, you probably use those chakra arms to stamp papers, send clones to meetings… put on sage mode to take pictures with the school kids… call forth a Rasengann to cool off your tea…" Sasuke taunted, smirking.

Naruto screwed up his face. "Are you telling me I can't beat you anymore, O great mosquito fighter?"

Sasuke deepened the smirk. "Yup." He flung a piece of pepper at Naruto's face.

"Teme! I'm gonna make you swallow that smirk tomorrow, dattebayo!"

"Riiiight…"

"I AM SO GONNA WIPE THAT FUCKING SMIRK –"

"**GODSDAMNIT GO HAVE SEX OR SOMETHING AND STOP SCREAMING ALREADY, PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!"** Ishoo yelled at them from the twins' bedroom.

Naruto blushed and covered his mouth with both hands, while Sasuke almost choked on his food trying to hold back the laughter.

Later, in bed, Naruto poked Sasuke on his back.

"Don't you think because I shut up I won't beat the crap out of you tomorrow, asshole." He whispered.

"Wanna get the couch tonight, just keep talking, usuratonkachi." Sasuke muttered, half asleep.

Naruto huffed and cuddled against him, pulling Sasuke's leg over his own hip.


	4. Chapter 4

The kids were already up and having breakfast when both men came out of the bedroom in the morning. Naruto made a beeline for the kitchen, while Sasuke kissed the teens' foreheads.

"Where is it? I smell fresh bread!" Naruto calls. Both twins rolled their eyes.

Sasuke sat down at the table, filled his coffee cup calmly, and buttered a roll.

"What, this fresh bread?" He taunted, raising his hand.

The twins snickered as Naruto rushed at Sasuke, trying to grab the bread.

"Gimme that, dattebayo! I'm starving!"

"Get another one, what do you think I am, your maid?" Sasuke replied, twisting his arm away.

"Here, Oyaji." Amachi threw Naruto a buttered roll.

Naruto sat down and made a face at Sasuke, before thanking his son.

"Eh, no problem. Wouldn't want you to cut yourself with the butter knife." The boy replied, and Sasuke gave him a high-five, while Naruto first gaped, then threw a napkin at him.

"Here, Tou-chan, have some omelet with that, you can have your payback in the spar session." Ishoo pushed the plate with the perfectly squared, piled up omelet to him. "Just don't have too much of it, we all know how you defeated Kiba in your first Chunnin exam."

Sasuke high-fived her, openly laughing at Naruto's embarrassed face.

"That's IT! I'm taking you on a taijutsu spar right after I kick this bastard's", he pointed at Sasuke, "ass all over the place, dattebayo!"

"You're ON!" Both kids high-fived him this time.

* * *

><p>Kakashi met Ashi in the special training grounds. The Inuzuka was idly playing with a rubber ball.<p>

"You're early." Kakashi stated with a smile. "Kiba give you the news already?"

The boy gave him a smirk and threw the ball in a wide angle, making it ricochet six times before going straight to Kakashi's face. The former copy-nin grabbed it effortlessly.

"Gonna need to be better than that on the exam." He commented.

"Pffft. Didn't want you to get another bump in the head." Ashi answered lazily when he threw the ball back, immediately launching the ball up in a wide ballistic angle.

* * *

><p>The family was halfway there when Ishoo somersaulted over Naruto, catching the ball and landing in front of him.<p>

"Ashi-baka's aim is getting sloppy." She said.

Naruto looked sideways at her. "We can't even see the grounds yet, how can he aim this far?"

"Scent" Amachi answered.

Sasuke widened his eyes. "He can use scent to pinpoint location this accurately? Even Kiba can't do that by himself, he usually relies on Akamaru for it."

"When you guys finish off you could see us train for a while, if you have the time." Ishoo said. "We've been working on a few cool moves you haven't seen."

"Fine, we'll watch after I smack you both with my awesome taijutsu skills!" Naruto gloated.

"I actually have to go to the Intel compound afterwards." Sasuke said with an apologetic tone.

"No you don't, you got the rest of the week off." Naruto told him, grinning.

"What?" Sasuke frowned.

"Your Hokage demanded it, ttebayo" Naruto widened his grin.

Sasuke was about to open his mouth when he was stopped by Amachi's hand covering it.

"Don't push your luck, he might make it the rest of the month" Ishoo whispered to him.

Sasuke sighed in defeat.

"Oi usuratonkachi, does that mean you're going to work from home the rest of the week too?" he asked.

"Me? Oh, noooooo, just today and tomorrow… maybe Friday too." Naruto gave him a sheepish grin.

The twins were walking ahead now, both sticking earplugs and turning on their music devices, preparing for training as they neared the grounds.

Sasuke used the opportunity to jab Naruto on the ribs.

"I hope you understand that I fully intend to sleep for this whole impromptu holiday you gave me." He told him seriously.

"Sure, what else would I want you to take a few days off for?" Naruto replied with an innocent look.

"Hn."

* * *

><p>Kakashi was early. That alone made Naruto and Sasuke stop on their tracks as they approached the fenced-off space.<p>

"You!" Naruto pointed at him. "What are you doing here this early?"

"What are you talking about, Hokage-sama? Kakashi-sensei is always early." Ashi commented, unfazed, while dodging a double punch from the twins as he tried to stop them passing him by holding on their waists.

Sasuke's eyes glinted at that, but he said nothing.

"Don't you have your own sparring to do? Shoo, both of you" Ishoo pushed them off to one of the domes, noticing the glint on Sasuke's eyes and deciding to defuse the situation before Ashi did something really stupid.

Naruto and Sasuke entered the dome. It was a gigantic round earth structure, with overhead water lamps to let the daylight through, and regular lamps for night training. It was all lit up with sunlight at the time. Naruto closed the reinforced door and began stretching his muscles.

Sasuke snorted when he heard a bony snap coming from Naruto's direction.

"All that sitting in the office is getting to you." He mocked from where he was getting ready.

"Shut up, teme" Naruto barked at him, "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

Twenty clones charged up at Sasuke, who fried them with a Katon.

"Tch, sloppy, usuratonkachi!" He taunted, calling up a chidori and running forward, while Naruto ran at him with a Rasengann.

* * *

><p>"You think that dome is going to hold with all that racket?" Kakashi raised his voice to be heard.<p>

"Sure, in five minutes they'll stop the fancy footwork and roll around trading punches like they were kids" the twins yelled back at him.

They were in the dome prepared for sightless fighting. Kakashi took a deep breath and assumed horse stance, paying attention to minute changes in air pressure and temperature that would indicate something passing near his personal space.

It had taken him five years of intense training with the twins, but now he could not only understand how their energy worked, but work somewhat with it himself. He wasn't as ridiculously attuned to it as Ashi was, chakra having become, for the Inuzuka, a flavorful side dish to a growing repertoire of primal energy techniques, but relying on regular ninjutsu against Ishoo was useless, and extremely stupid against Amachi, as the boy, having a lower frequency energy than Ishoo to his disposal, could easily turn whatever was used against him back at his adversaries.

The added pressure of not being able to use sound as a guide made training in absolute darkness all the more exhilarating.

* * *

><p>"Eat that, asshole!" Naruto was jumping up and down in a victory rush, as Sasuke strained to extricate himself from the dome's ceiling.<p>

"I'm not finished yet, dumbass!" Sasuke stood upside down and summoned a Perfect Susanoo. It opened its wings and began rotating.

"O shi-it!" Naruto giggled, casting Rasenshuriken as he ran.

* * *

><p>Ashi grinned evilly when the ground bucked under them, grounding himself with chrakra. He knew his koishii would be in terrible trouble now, since even though Amachi might ground himself somewhat with his energy, Ishoo would probably be tossed up in the air and that would distract both, them being close enough for their shared soul to synchronize their minds.<p>

It was one of the few issues with being ibeji, that when they were together they would instinctively use both brains as one. Most often it was to their advantage, but now… it could make them an easier target.

He pinpointed Amachi's testosterone scent and ran towards him.

The dark boy felt his stomach cartwheel as his twin was thrown up in the air, and cursed, sensing Ashi's approach.

The ash-blonde girl hurriedly grabbed on Ashi's primal energy and willed it to pull her towards him in the split second before he could land a punch on her twin's face.

Kakashi sensed the movement on his left side and felt an opening.

Ashi stretched his arm out, but huffed as the girl barreled into his side, and both tumbled away, while at the same time Kakashi landed a roundhouse kick on the dark twin, knocking him out.

"Damn it Ashi-baka!" he heard Ishoo growl.

The Inuzuka struggled against her, and twisted her leg with his arms as she tried to kick his groin, dropping her on the floor and grabbing her arms with one hand, while pressing down her neck with the other, using his heavier frame to lock her legs with his own.

He could hear her panting breath on his face, and realized the position they were in, waiting for the inevitable kick upside his head.

He heard the sound of the kick and Amachi's teeth clicking as he was knocked out, and felt his beloved's female body gasp and shake with shock, excitement and fear. _In that order,_ his nose told him.

It was just too much for his enamored, hormone-laden brain to take. He took his arm off her neck and kissed her.

'Oshitoshitoshit' both sides of the same mind, briefly reunited, thought as Ashi pushed his tongue into the girl's mouth. 'Don't kiss the crazy boy back, don't kiss the crazy boy back…'

'Godsdamnit' was the only possible thought as defenses crumbled with a well-placed tug at the back of her head.

As the kiss deepened, the twins' joined consciousness tried to look for a way to gain leverage while on the other side being totally entranced in feelings it had been running away from for the last two months.

It grudgingly resorted to biting on Ashi's tongue.

"Aaargggghhhllllllll!" the boy screamed and bucked, giving Ishoo enough room to drop her hand and grab his crotch with all her considerable strength.

"Thafuckinhurtsdamndirtyfightinkoishiii_iii... owwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" _Ashi howled in pain, rolling away from her.

She stood up, swayed a bit as Amachi woke up, and kicked Ashi in the ribs.

"Ishoo-chan, don't traumatize your team mate." Kakashi said, and both twins reflexively slashed around them. "Let's take a quick break until he recovers" the former copy-nin said, making the seals that would open the dome's door.

* * *

><p>They met two weary, bloody, bruised and somewhat scorched men hanging on each other's shoulders outside.<p>

"So, Oyaji, how about that taijutsu spar, heh?" Amachi gave Naruto a shit eating grin, fully aware that in spite of the pain in his jaw, his dark skin was the best bruise concealer ever and making good use of that fact.

"You gimme five minutes and I'll show you who's old." Naruto grumbled. He gave a side look to Sasuke, who had narrowed his eyes, and followed his gaze.

Ishoo had come out with her light clothes half-covered in red dust, glaring at a half-crouched, limping Ashi, who was giving her and Amachi a defying return glare.

The R&R team passed them on the way to the bleachers.

It took two entire minutes for Naruto to associate the faint bruise at her neck and hands with the Inuzuka's pained gait, but when he did, alarms went up on his brain.

"Nah…" he shook his head. "I'm sure I'm overreacting." He muttered.

Sasuke looked at him and asked himself, not for the first time, how in hell he could've ended up marrying the most obliviously stupid man in the world. He then wondered how he was going to go about intervening without ripping the dog-boy's head off as a beginning approach.

* * *

><p>One good reason for Naruto to keep his sparring session with his kids strictly taijutsu was the fact he often got carried away if he was able to use anything else.<p>

Another, more important reason, was that he knew damn well that if he used anything else he'd probably end up beaten black and blue all over by his own ninjutsu, courtesy of his freakishly cunning, pitiless son, and quartered, roasted, and served with fries by his carefree and bloodthirsty daughter.

Not that his darling children didn't fight dirtier than a tavern brawler barehanded.

In the last hour Naruto had had his eyes poked six times, sand rubbed in them another six, his ears pulled, bitten or otherwise mauled eight times, poison ivy rubbed up his nose and every other available surface of his body, his balls had been kicked enough times he was sure he'd cough them up any moment now, both his shins were completely bruised black, his poor toes had been thoroughly stomped on until his sandals were digging into his skin, and he was currently lying on his stomach, his son neatly pulling his head back through two fingers stuck up his nose with one hand, while attempting to yank his shoulders out of their sockets with the other and trying to push his head forward with a foot on the back of his neck (and thus nearly ripping his nose from his face in the process), and his daughter calmly twisting both his ankles around and around while jumping up and down on his butt and having small talk with the other ninja present. Both younger ninja were bruised and bloody from a few cuts, but weren't showing any serious wounds.

None of those moves, of course, would seriously cripple or kill Naruto, but as for subduing and shock tactics, the specialty of their team, they were flawless. Dozens of rogue nin had been successfully retrieved alive and were still hiding under their prison cots, fiercely determined to leave all this ninja business behind for good and work as peaceful ikebana masters for the last of their lives due to them.

He cried uncle when the girl decided to start biting on his mauled toes, and rolled in the dirt, panting and wheezing when they got off him.

"Fucking hell, dattebayo" he groaned, "I'm gonna be blind for a week…"

"Nah, nothing that a good soothing baking soda bath and Kurama's chakra can't heal after a few hours of sleep, Hokage-sama. It isn't like they cut you up and made you jump rope with your own intestines." Ashi commented casually.

The Rokudaime gave the Inuzuka a bleary, red, sand covered eyeful while Kakashi helped him get up on Sasuke's back.

"This shit for real?" He asked Kakashi in a nasal voice.

"Hmmm? The jump rope thing? Oh, yes. It was a burglar that stole some stuff from Kabuto's orphanage, I think he still has the pictures." Kakashi answered, undisturbed.

"Kids, I'm gonna take him home now, don't forget to eat your lunches. Behave!" Sasuke called out, before dragging the busted up Hokage home.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Yo guys!**

I'm trying to keep updating about every 5 days, so I can be ahead of content and keep the story updated even if I can't write a week or two. Chapters are varied in length because I write first, and then cut the text into chapters, and I like to keep chapters as logical as they can be (you can blame my scientific background on that).

If there's anything you need, just PM me or drop a review, and thanks for reading!

* _italic speech_ = non-verbal communication *

* * *

><p>Shikamaru and Genma almost dropped the boxes of paperwork they were carrying as they neared the Rokudaime's house and saw Sasuke rolling him off his back to open the door.<p>

"Sasuke? What the hell happened? Genma go get Tsunade!" Shikamaru exclaimed as he saw the ragged state of his Hokage.

"Hold your horses, it's nothing serious." Sasuke said, holding Genma by the back of his collar.

"Nothing serious? What the hell happened to him, got trampled by wild bijuu?" Shikamaru rebutted, wide-eyed.

"Nah, we sparred, then he decided to take the kids on and they used some R&R "taijutsu" on him." Sasuke explained, manhandling Naruto inside and dropping the groaning Hokage on the floor.

"That… that… that is NOT taijutsu, man!" Genma gulped.

"Hence the quote marks. Now where did the kids put that jar of special poison ivy ointment? Oh, you can leave the paperwork in the library, by the desk; I think he'll be happy to go through it later."

Shikamaru and Genma complied and left in a hurry, after Sasuke promised to keep them updated with Naruto's recovery.

"Great, there are rash spots everywhere under your clothes, why the hell did you have to squirm so much when they shoved it there? Don't you know the first thing about poison ivy?" Sasuke muttered while undressing him. He picked Naruto up, wincing at his cries.

"Come on, let's take a baking soda bath, get that sand off your eyes, then I can put some ointment on you, have to hurry before you turn into a giant blister."

After the bath, Sasuke applied the ointment on the worst rash patches and inside Naruto's nostrils, and gave him a couple of allergy pills for good measure.

"Owwwwwww…" Naruto wailed after he swallowed the pills.

"Come on, dobe, this can't hurt so much."

"Next time we spar I'm doing it to you so you can tell me that with a straight face again… _owwwwwwwwwwwwwww…_"

"Tch." Sasuke laid him on the futon and kissed his forehead. "Try to sleep while I take a bath, ok?"

* * *

><p>Kakashi sparred with Amachi as Ashi sat down with Ishoo for her special training.<p>

"You ready, koishii?" he put on his earplugs and turned on his music.

"Stop calling me that, Ashi-baka. And yeah, ready as I'm gonna be anyway."

"Ok, gimme your hand and start."

He took her hand and focused all his attention on it, anchoring her energy to him.

The one thing about the Inuzuka kekkei genkai that made Ashi the perfect choice for this kind of training was that, since it focused the body into animal bonds, it made it easy for him to attune to primal energy; and the reason that was useful was that Ishoo's special training had to do with effectively dispersing her physical body.

Soon all that remained of the hand in his was the lingering feel of her energy.

"Ok, you can start spreading out now."

Amachi gave them a sideways look while dodging one of Kakashi's attacks.

Ishoo began unraveling her body, letting her energy touch and linger on everything around her, and spread. She could sense the minds around her, from the whirling human ones in the village to the slow collectives that comprised plants and fungi.

Ashi concentrated on using his own scent to talk to her, and in feeling the subtle tells in his body's microbial fauna that told him of her responses.

_Go further out of the village. See if you can sense up to the capital._

He felt a tiny pressure on his left cheek, as the fauna on his skin gathered in a point there, meaning _Yes._

_Ok. Slow down a bit and let's try for the borders._

Amachi signaled to Kakashi and stopped moving, looking at the sitting boy.

"What?" Kakashi asked.

"He wants to cross the country's borders." The dark kid whispered.

Kakashi's eyes widened. "Wow. Are you sure?"

Amachi gave a soft smile. 'Shit, am I falling for Ashi-baka?' he thought.

Kakashi gave an inner chuckle at his team mate's loving look at the Inuzuka. He himself couldn't help but admire the boy's confidence.

_Go on, I know you can._

The confidence in that message made Ishoo feel able to embrace the world.

She could sense the land responding to her, embracing her body's essence and attuning to her mind as she blanketed it.

Still, she stopped as she reached the Valley of the End. Maybe she'd someday tell her fathers how their presence lingered there, even after so many years of their battle.

Ashi felt the signal that indicated she was still.

_Slow and easy does it, koishii._

She tentatively let her essence spread out more.

A few minutes later, she felt the land begin to pull at her from the east.

Ashi felt her energy begin to fade on his hand, and pulled her back, meeting a faint resistance.

_Come back, koishii!_

She wanted to, but the land was so thirsty… she felt it tugging at her consciousness, begging her.

_DON'T LEAVE ME!_

Ashi put out all his love, all his need in the call, feeling hot tears well in his eyes.

She retreated, slowly gaining speed, and instinctively wound her essence around the boy, before solidifying in front of him.

"I'm here already, stop being a wuss." She gave him a weird look.

He let go of her hand and wiped his eyes hastily. "Yeah, right. What the hell was that?" he asked, as Kakashi and Amachi came closer.

"The land in the east… where I went… it called me. It's thirsty… dying. It needs this energy" Ishoo said. "But I don't think I can survive that yet." She tried getting up, but couldn't.

"Maah, I think we trained enough for today, then." Kakashi announced, badly hiding his concern.

Amachi knelt to take his twin's weight on his back as Kakashi helped Ashi up.

* * *

><p>"Oi, Ashi-baka, be useful and open the damn door, will ya?"<p>

Ashi gave him a glare, but did as he was told, helping his koishii take the sleeping girl to their room.

"Be quiet, dammit, old people are sleeping." Amachi growled in a low voice, hearing Ashi's whimper as he hit something with his shin.

The dark boy dumped Ishoo on her futon like a sack of potatoes. She let out a soft snore.

The Inuzuka was picking up his bag of weapons at the front door when he heard somebody clear their throat behind him. He turned around to see Sasuke glaring at him. With his Mangekyou on, and hands on his hip.

"Ah… ahahah… er, hi, Sasuke-sama." The boy blushed. The glare intensified.

"Um, er, I'll be going now, heh. Send my regards to Hokage-sama."He waved to Amachi, who raised an eyebrow and waved back, and took off.

Sasuke turned and came back into the house, sitting at the table and watching as Amachi took frozen broth cubes out of the freezer.

"Ramen tonight, right?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah… making up for beating Oyaji's ass to next week. Why did you scare Ashi-baka off?" The boy gave him an eyeful.

"You would tell us if that mutt behaved inappropriately with you, wouldn't you?" Sasuke asked.

"Um. Lemme see." Amachi put a finger on his lips and looked up. "Why do you ask?"

"Because you're my children and I don't want you to get hurt." Sasuke looked at him seriously.

"Chichi, Ashi is my team mate."

"Don't play with me, kid."

Amachi stopped chopping vegetables and went to sit at the table opposite his father.

"Look. I know Ashi since he was a little kid, Chichi. Fine, he's infatuated. But it's not like he's, I don't know, going to run off and offer his body to a crazy-ass pedophile, or something awful like that." He gave him a stern look.

Sasuke put his hand on his face, and sighed.

Amachi took his other hand in his.

"Sorry. I didn't want to hurt you."

Sasuke looked at him, and sighed again.

"You can pretend to be fine with everything, totally self-assured, but you can't fool me. Do you like him?"

Amachi pursed his full lips.

"He's my friend. My best friend. It's complicated." He then gave Sasuke a grin. "I don't mind you scaring him a bit, though, that bastard is cheeky. As long as you don't actually kill him in the process."

"Meh. Fine, I won't kill him. But I will teach him respect." Sasuke got up and tousled his son's hair, and yawned. "Call us for dinner?"

"Sure, go back to bed, I'll get stuff ready and take a nap myself."

* * *

><p>Naruto woke up, completely healed, to the heavenly smell of homemade fresh ramen. He instinctively tried rising to follow his nose, only to be pushed back on the bed by a strong arm.<p>

*_mumble mumble_*

*_grab_*

*_soft snore_*

He looked to his side, and there was his teme, half sprawled on top of him, his nose firmly tugged on his armpit, fast asleep.

Naruto gave his current predicament some thought. Sasuke hardly ever slept this well; he often got up during the night to work on something, or had some weird nightmare or another, or just plainly couldn't achieve deep sleep and spent the night tossing and turning, which did wake Naruto a few times, but didn't really hinder the Hokage's rest simply because he usually slept like a log.

Hence, Naruto felt guilty about waking him up to get off the bed, especially since Sasuke, being the complete bastard he was, not only did wake up when Naruto got out of bed, but would not go back to sleep afterwards and would bug him every single time he, Naruto, wasn't sleepy and decided to get some work, or reading, or training, anything, done during the night, because although Sasuke believed it was perfectly ok to leave the dobe sleeping by himself when he woke up in the middle of the night, he couldn't abide it and wouldn't be able to just go back to sleep alone, no matter how many times Naruto had told him to just get used to it, like he himself had done.

Nevertheless... fresh, delicious ramen, with homemade broth made from real roast beef bones and spices, the marrow from the bones melted in the broth... (Sakura once gave Amachi a lecture on the importance of keeping fat off the family's diet because of cholesterol issues and such. The boy had then called her and Lee for dinner the next weekend, serving a whole suckling pig slow-roasted for 12 hours and basted in coconut water, served with a huge assortment of salads, spices, roasted pineapple and sweet potatoes. Sakura and Naruto then spent one whole hour wrestling over a crispy pig ear, and nobody bothered Amachi about his cooking again)

Naruto whimpered quietly, drool gathering in his mouth. He closed his eyes and scrumptious, steaming bowls of ramen began dancing in front of him.

He decided to try disentangling himself again slowly, wondering if all the married Hokages had had to go through this kind of thing with their spouses, and stopped suddenly, swallowing a startled laugh.

Sasuke had pushed his nose up his armpit a little more, and it tickled. Badly.

'Don't squirm, don't squirm, don't squirm…' Naruto thought, making a face, tensing up as he felt the warm breath tickling the hairs on his sensitive skin.

'Godsdamn non-ticklish teme'. It wasn't fair, really. He had tried tickling his spouse many times, but apparently the Uchihas had managed to breed that reaction out, along with common sense, so that was a weapon he couldn't use. On the other hand, tickling people amused Sasuke immensely, and he attacked Naruto and the kids – who were both _normal_, as the blonde pointed out – often.

He tried raising his arm a bit.

*_mumble_*

And now he had not only a nose tickling him, but a mouth as well, because the damn bastard just _had_ to push his face up.

*_soft snore_*

Naruto crossed his eyes and bit on the knuckles of his free hand.

His entire arm was almost asleep by the time he felt safe to try moving again. He slowly tried pushing Sasuke's arm away from his belly.

'Aw, man…' he sighed inwardly, when fingers entwined with his and tugged his arm up his chest, and a leg previously haphazardly thrown over him moved, hugging him closer.

*_soft sigh_*

He closed his eyes as he felt the tickling get worse, as a few hairs were caught by Sasuke's sleeping lips. He could feel the tears welling up as he imagined the steaming, rich bowls of ramen flying away with little wings…

*_slow, long, wet lick_*

"Teme!" Naruto's eyes flew open. He turned his head and glared at the smirking man by his side.

"Hmmmm?" Sasuke nuzzled his armpit, and licked it again, playfully.

"You were awake this whole time!" Naruto gave him an accusing frown.

"No, I wasn't", the bastard replied with a lazy voice, and gave off a soft giggle at Naruto's undignified huff.

"Liar", Naruto said, trying to push himself off the futon.

"Where do you think you're going?" Sasuke purred, sliding his groin against his side.

"Ramen." Naruto turned and kissed him quickly before fully extricating himself and getting up.

"Glutton."

"Pervert. How about you use your nose to smell other things beside my sweat, maybe you'll get hungry too." He pulled up a pair of shorts.

"Hn." Sasuke let one of his hands snake down to his own groin, hoping to tease Naruto back to bed, but as he took a long breath, his stomach rumbled, and he snorted, giving up.

"See, even the ice princess needs food!" Naruto pointed at him, grinning and dodging a pillow.


	6. Chapter 6

It was two weeks later, when Ashi woke up in the middle of the night, sweat plastering his reddish-brown locks to his forehead, his dark-red, slit-pupil eyes snapping open.

He jumped off his bed and threw on some clothes, hastily grabbing his emergency backpack before he jumped out of his window and off the Inuzuka compound.

He only stopped when he saw the trembling girl dragging herself off the Uchiha-Uzumaki gates on all fours.

"Koishii..." He dropped by her side, mindful of the smell of blood in her.

She whimpered as he touched her arm, and he almost jumped up as he felt the electricity in her skin.

She raised her eyes at him, her irises reduced to a small ring around huge pupils.

"Stuck. Land. Come?" the last came in a pleading tone.

He nodded and held her close, closing his eyes.

When he opened his eyes again, they were standing in the most desolate land Ashi had ever seen.

Old bones and hitai-ates were scattered on the naked earth. His shock wore off when he felt his beloved double forward, vomiting.

He held her waist, and she wailed in pain. He realized she was half-naked, with only a nightshirt on, and that her belly was swollen. Thick blood ran in rivulets down her legs.

He took a step back, as the parched earth absorbed the blood so fast, he could hear a sucking noise.

Ishoo couldn't think, the pain reverberating through her whole body. She had never felt such horrifying sensations in her life, in this body or otherwise. Her legs felt heavy, her whole body hot as a furnace, and something inside her felt like it was being ripped and wrung. She could hardly breathe, as wave upon wave of nausea shook her.

Ashi pulled his canteen from the clip holding it to his backpack, and washed her mouth. He looked around. Seeing a small outcrop up ahead, he picked her up on his arms and wheezed, grunted and panted his way there. She had never been too light, but right now her body felt heavy as lead.

He quickly put down a sleeping bag and rested her in it, trying to think. He turned to speak to her, and froze when her bloody hand touched his face.

* * *

><p><em>Sasuke could see nothing in the darkness. He could only hear a dark laugh, and smell blood. <em>

_He tried activating his Rinnegan, but still couldn't see anything, as he slowly moved forward, dragging his feet, the stench of blood making his stomach churn. He gasped as he stumbled on something, and looked down._

_'__The blood is life' was written in glowing red, the light contained in the words carved on the ground._

_He had stumbled on his daughter's body. As he knelt to inspect her, he saw the eerily glowing blood coming out from under her and pouring into the carved signs._

"Naruto!"

Naruto was startled into wakefulness by the scream. He shook Sasuke's shoulders, as the man thrashed in his nightmare.

"Sasuke! Wake up, teme, it's all right!"

Sasuke opened his eyes, Rinnegan activated, and trembled as Naruto hugged him.

Both men took a deep breath, and went rigid.

The house reeked of blood.

* * *

><p>Kakashi was having his favorite dream, where Jiraya was alive and co-writing a whole new series of Icha Icha with him, when all hell broke loose in his home.<p>

He woke up being manhandled off his bed by four Anbu.

"Um, good morning?" He asked, as clothes were shoved in his hands.

"No time. Get dressed, Naruto needs you." Sai told him.

He paled and tossed on his uniform, grabbing a mask at the nightstand as the Anbu pushed him off his window.

He started to make his way to the Hokage tower, but Sai grabbed his elbow and turned him to Naruto's home.

"What happened?" He asked the Anbu commander.

"You'll see when we get there." Sai said, pushing him to go faster.

The house was entirely lit up when they got to the gates, where Kiba and Akamaru were inspecting a blood stain.

"Whose is it?" Kakashi asked, kneeling next to the dog master as Sai moved in the house.

"Ishoo's. There's some scent from Ashi too, he met her here. Can't follow the scent though; wherever they went, they went too fast for it to linger." Kiba grunted.

Kakashi gave him a stern look, and turned to run inside, but Kiba held him back.

"Er. It's not a… er, a regular wound, Kakashi."

The former copy-nin looked down at him.

"I thought so. Have you gone inside yet?"

"Um, no… I was kinda waiting for you to back me up, so Ms. Congeniality won't rip my guts off before I get a chance to talk to them." Kiba stood up.

Kakashi snorted at the nickname. "Did anyone see Ashi leave the compound?"

"I wasn't there; Mom says the wolves didn't wake up, which is weird. He took his backpack. That's all I know." The Inuzuka shrugged.

Kakashi turned around. "Incoming", he muttered, positioning himself in front of Kiba.

Sasuke was coming at them with his katana drawn, a scowl on his face and an angry Naruto in full bijuu mode right after him.

"Sasuke, drop your weapon", Kakashi warned.

"Get out of the way, Kakashi, I know the mutt's behind you." Sasuke growled, channeling electricity down the blade.

"He doesn't know where they are; now put the blade down, Sasuke!" Kakashi warned again, putting one hand out in front of him.

Naruto shoved both men aside and grabbed Kiba by his neck.

"Where. Are. My. Kids." He snarled.

"I… gaack…!" Kiba grunted as he was shaken by the neck, trying to get off.

Naruto put him down and loosened his hand, giving the Inuzuka a warning look.

"I don't know where they are, man, I wasn't even home!" Kiba gasped between breaths.

Naruto looked like ripping Kiba's throat open was still an option, but he decided to let the dog master go, and grabbed Kakashi's arm instead.

Sasuke grabbed his other one, and both dragged Kakashi into the house. The former copy-nin noticed the dark patches in the earth forming a trail.

As he was pushed unceremoniously inside the kids' bedroom, Kakashi's eyes went straight to the large, steaming mound of black earth straight in the middle of the room.

"You know earth jutsu better than the both of us. What is this and who did it?" Naruto asked.

Kakashi approached cautiously, and touched the earth, feeling it hum under his hands.

He looked closer, taking in the myriad tiny openings.

"It's not jutsu." He tried moving some of the earth, and hissed as a fire ant came off the mound and bit his fingers.

"It's Amachi." He groaned, shaking his hand.

Sasuke widened his eyes. "What?"

Kakashi took a step back as the two men began digging in the mound, pushing the earth away with their bare hands. It didn't take too long for them to find their son buried in it, intact but unconscious.

"Come on, get up, Amachi." Naruto pulled the unconscious boy into his arms. Sasuke whirled on Kakashi, as the fire ants retreated back into the hole.

"What do you know that we don't?" he growled.

Kakashi sat on the desk. "The ants probably did this to protect his body."

"Where's our daughter?" Sasuke snarled, as Naruto finished digging Amachi out.

"The kids commented on the fact that Ishoo's body was feeling strange as it matured, a few weeks ago. I told them to talk to Sakura, but I doubt even they realized it could turn out like this."

Naruto got up, the dark boy's head lolling on his arms. Sasuke pulled Kakashi along as he followed him out of the room.

"**SAI!**" Naruto yelled. The Anbu commander raised his head from where he was examining the strange nodules in the wood floor, under the bloodstains.

"We're going to the hospital. Get Sakura there **NOW**, and do it personally." The Rokudaime ordered, before taking to the roof, Sasuke and Kakashi following him

* * *

><p>Lee was used to people banging on his door at all times, Sakura being head medic at the hospital and all, but he didn't expect Anbu to actually burst through it.<p>

"Hey!" He complained as he leapt down the last three stairs. "I was just going to open that!"

"Sorry, Lee, sometimes they get a little impatient", Sai said, giving him one of his fake smiles. "Is Sakura in?"

"What the hell, Lee, hold their horses a minute, I can't move so fast in this condition!" Sakura yelled from the first floor.

"Hi Sakura! Sorry to bother, but the Rokudaime needs you at the hospital!" Sai shouted back at her.

The medic nin came downstairs in her night robe, looking flustered. She gave Rock Lee a quick kiss.

"Let's go, you tell me what happened on the way." She told Sai in a professional tone.

* * *

><p>Sakura raised sad eyes at them.<p>

"He's in a coma. That's all I know, boys. That and there's a few burn marks on his right arm, probably made by acid, but nothing really serious. Besides that, there's nothing wrong physically, at least that I can tell."

"I don't think that what burned him is acid, Sakura" Kakashi came closer to the bed and pulled the blanket off the boy's foot, and opened a tiny tube he fished from his pocket, letting a drop of the red gooey substance in his finger.

Sasuke activated his Rinnegan, and gasped as the liquid gave off a faint red light.

He watched as Kakashi touched his son's foot, and saw the appendage twitch as smoke rose from it.

Sakura quickly washed the liquid off to stop the burn. "What the hell, Kakashi!" she cried out.

"It's as I said, the ants buried him for protection." Kakashi said, closing the tube and giving it to Sakura. "It's a sample of the blood we found around the house."

Naruto frowned at them. "But her blood never did that to him before!"

"It's not regular blood, Naruto, it's, er, menstrual blood, I think" Kakashi said, blushing.

Naruto gave him an uncomprehending look.

Sakura sighed. "Naruto, I know for a fact that you slept through most of our Biology classes in the Academy, but even you can't be this clueless. She's matured, that's how it works, baka."

"Wait, what? You're saying this is NORMAL?" Naruto exclaimed.

Sakura dragged her hand through her face, and sat down on a chair by the bed.

"Kunoichi usually control their moon cycles by withdrawing chakra from their reproductive organs, to avoid problems during missions, but the normal course of things is that females get one or two weeks as a fertile phase and one week where our wombs expel blood and tissue if they don't get pregnant, every twenty-eight days. That's why it's called the moon-cycle. Ishoo doesn't have chakra channels in her body, so there's no way for her to control it."

Naruto gave her a shocked look. "You girls can bleed for a whole _week_ without dying?"

Sakura rolled her eyes. 'Clueless baka, good thing he didn't marry a woman', she thought.

"Yes, Naruto. It's what makes it possible for us to get pregnant." She patted her seven-month pregnant belly fondly.

"Your kids asked me to give Ishoo a medical exam about a month ago. She said her body felt strange. I thought it might be nothing serious, every woman's cycles are a little different, or maybe it could be just her not being fully human, since all women in the village had their cycles synchronized about the same time." She continued.

"The blood is life." Sasuke muttered from the corner. They all turned to him.

"Come again?" Kakashi asked, raising his eyebrows.

"The blood is life. It's what I saw on my nightmare. She was lying in the darkness, in a pool of blood. It formed those words. And it glowed just like that", he pointed to the vial in Sakura's hand.

"She told us the land somewhere east was dying, that it needed her energy, after training. But that she couldn't give it to it yet." Kakashi said.

"Why the hell am I the last to know about this?" Naruto growled.

"Because it wasn't supposed to be an issue!" Sakura barked at him.

Naruto stepped in her personal space. "My son is in a _coma_. My daughter is _bleeding_ off somewhere, _unprotected, _exposed to gods know how many people who would _very much _like to _kill_ or _kidnap_ her, if not just because she's a dangerous ninja, to get leverage against _Konoha_ by using her against _me_. This_ is_ an issue, dattebayo." He said slowly, in a dangerous tone.

Kakashi cleared his throat. "Er, she's not really unprotected. Ashi is with her."

"**SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI! GET ME KIBA!**"

* * *

><p>Kiba knew he was in trouble as soon as his mother had sent one of the wolves to call him in the middle of the night.<p>

He knew he was in even more trouble as Sasuke shook him in front of the Rokudaime's home.

However, he was absolutely sure he was up to his neck in shit creek when Akamaru simply whined and stayed outside the interrogation room at Anbu's headquarters, when an eerily cheerful Sai showed him in.

"Great friend you are, damn you!" He growled at the nin-dog, who put his tail between his legs and hid behind the guard's desk.

The hairs at the back of his head rose when he felt the energy in the room. Naruto and Sasuke were standing with their arms crossed in front of the table, and Kakashi was leaning against the wall, with his hands on his pockets and Icha Icha nowhere in sight.

Kiba gulped. He swore to himself he'd neuter Ashi for this. With one of those torture implements cattle farmers used. And no anesthesia.

"Um, before you say anything, I'd like to make my defense… you didn't ask about Ashi before." he spluttered, as he made his way to the chair at the table.

"Ok, then. Where. Is. Ashi." Naruto growled.

"Um. I don't know. All I know is that they met at the gate and then, er, there wasn't a track leading to anywhere."

"Kakashi mentioned something about a dying land in the east. Did Ashi say anything about that at home?" Sasuke asked.

"Not really, I mean, we'd probably remember if he mentioned anything, it's not like there's really any dying land left except for the Land of Hot… Water…" Kiba's voice faltered.

"Shit!" Sasuke slammed his hand on the table. "They're at the site of the last fight."

"Let's go get them", Naruto said, turning to the door.

"Ahem", they heard through the intercom. "Can I speak with the Rokudaime a minute please?" the voice sounded bored and angry at the same time.

Naruto went out and slammed the door behind him.

"What the _fucking_ hell" they heard, and then the intercom clicked off.

"Hn. About time. You" Sasuke pointed at Kiba, "and you" he pointed at Kakashi, "get your shit and meet me at the gates in thirty minutes. And gods help you if your mutt nephew's been pawing _my daughter_, Kiba."

* * *

><p>Naruto was bordering on hysterics, shaking Shikamaru by the collar.<p>

"What the fuck do you mean I can't leave the village? It's _my baby_ out there, damn you!"

"He's right, dobe." Sasuke said when he passed them.

"What the fuck?" Naruto went after him, dragging Shikamaru by the scruff of his neck. "Are you out of your mind, teme?" he yelled.

Sasuke turned around and faced him with a stern look. "I'm going after them with Kakashi and Kiba. The Hokage can't leave the village on a whim."

Naruto paled. "On a… on a _whim_? Who the fuck do you think you are to say something like that to my face, asshole?" He had let Shikamaru go in his shock, and Sasuke grabbed him, pushing him against the wall.

"I am the _other __**father**_ of the child in question, usuratonkachi-_sama._ We're both in this _together_, remember?" He growled on his ear. "_You_ wanted this. You _knew_ exactly what would happen if you took this responsibility. Now accept it and _fucking trust me to deal with this myself_. And be fucking _happy_ I haven't got the time to beat the living shit out of you for **_daring_** to ask me who the fuck I think I am after _eight_ fucking _years_ of dealing with your shit."

Naruto couldn't look up or respond to that when he let him go and left, or when Kakashi and Kiba passed by him in the hallway.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N**:

Melyway: thank you for your review, I think the reasons for Naruto's behavior are quite obvious, but there's more to it. Hope it gets clearer with this and the following chapters.

* * *

><p>Sasuke met the two jounin at the gates, carrying two regular backpacks and a large sack. Kakashi was wearing his R&amp;R attire and carrying his largest backpack, with all the emergency first aid supplies he could think of. Kiba had saddled Akamaru with two large emergency bags stuffed with food and water bottles. It was common knowledge that the water supply in Hot Water had become poisoned after the war.<p>

The two jounin stood quiet while Sasuke summoned his hawk, feeling anger seeping out of the man's body.

'Great, like we didn't have enough problems without Naruto, of all people, sticking his foot in his mouth and pushing Insane Homicidal Uchiha back to the surface', Kakashi thought as they got on the giant bird's back.

The bird took them to the border of the Fire Country, and landed.

"From here on we go on foot, we don't know what to expect ahead." Sasuke said. "Kiba."

Kiba turned to Sasuke.

"Time to tell you what we know." Sasuke continued. He then went on to tell Kiba about everything: how what happened when Kaguya had come to the world, the reason for the Shinju tree to exist, and all that had led to the fourth ninja war. Then, he told him how he and Naruto had met Ishoo at the orphanage, her brother, and the fact they were in fact one soul, and thus shared much more than twins of the body; he told him about Monifa, and what the old man had explained about the children.

Kiba had never heard Sasuke talk so much in his life. It was twilight when he finished, and they were still a good twelve hours from where they believed the kids to be, so they had camped for the night.

Kiba scratched his chin, pensively.

"Damn, if shit is this serious I think I might know why Ashi is with her." He said, and took a large gulp of his tea.

"There's a legend in my clan, which says how our kekkei genkai began. It says it was a present to us from one of the gods, which was shaped as a wolf." He looked at them. "Now, like every story from before chakra, it's been kinda lost, so I'm sorta iffy about the details, but it says that, a long, long time ago, one of our clan found this god wounded in the forest, and instead of killing what he thought was a wolf, brought him home and took care of it until it healed, and in thanks the god gave us the ability to communicate with the wolves, and so the first dogs were born."

"And yadda yadda yadda, Iruka told us that legend at the Academy, Kiba." Sasuke interrupted him, as he tinkered with a Mosquito.

"Did I say I was finished?" Kiba growled. "That is the part of the legend our clan let other people know. The other part is that the wolf-god entrusted us with protecting the Shinju tree."

"The part of your story about the Shinju tree and the fruit being for the earth is true, I guess, because it's in my clan's legend as well. The Ookami gave us our kekkei genkai and made it so that, in his stead, one of us could protect the fruit until it was absorbed by the earth, 'cause, you know how people are, and all."

"The thing is, every thousand years one pup would be born in our clan who could physically become a vessel for him. He or she would be born around the time when the tree flowered, and when the fruit was ripe, would be old enough to go to the tree and guard it. The last of these we know of was killed by Kaguya."

Sasuke finished tinkering and set the Mosquito off. "This little thing will find them and relay the coordinates for us, it's better than trying to look for them blindly."

He then looked hard at the Inuzuka. "You're not telling me this so I'll spare your pervert of a nephew, are you? Because I will kill him if he's done anything to my daughter."

"Dude, if Ashi touches her without your and Naruto's permission I will personally rip his balls off. Inuzukas are honorable." Kiba growled.

Kakashi lowered his Icha Icha. "Well, at least now I know how he's able to sync with them so well. Good thing it's happened now, too, it won't interfere with the Chunnin exams."

* * *

><p>Tsunade entered the office carrying a couple of bento.<p>

"Lunch time, brat. Get up."

Naruto raised his head and looked at her with tired eyes. "Sorry, baa-chan, I'm not hungry."

"Did I say you had an option? Now get your ass up and follow me, this room's stuffy."

Naruto glumly followed her to the roof, where a table and two chairs had been set up.

"Shikamaru told me what happened." She said, briskly shaking a napkin.

"Yeah."

"Can't say I was surprised to see the position get over your head." She commented, opening her bento and pulling a sake bottle from her pocket.

Naruto sat with his head bowed.

"What I can say surprised me, though, is that Sasuke didn't kill you yet. Kudos to him, I'd probably be using your empty skull as a flower pot now, if I were in his place." She poured some sake to herself and pushed a bottle of juice across the table.

He raised his eyes at her and put on a hurt face.

"What did you expect? Oh, poor Naruto, you were right, I'll take your place while you go and do your stuff, yadda yadda yadda? No, brat. You're not wearing the Yondaime's shoes." She looked hard at him.

"And don't think I don't know that was exactly what you thought when you knew your kid was gone, because I do." She continued. "Minato was a good Hokage and a good man, but he was also full of himself and you inherited that. It was a great asset for you and everyone else while you were growing up, but now you have to tone it down and understand that being Hokage is more about delegating power than fighting, kiddo. Your place as Hokage is behind that damn desk, using your brain, not your fists. Even when it's personal."

"Besides," she said in a softer tone, "it's about time you began to trust Sasuke's judgment, brat."

"I trust him with my life, baa-chan." Naruto said.

"Not when it comes to power, and you know that." She poured herself some more sake.

Naruto sighed. "I am that much of an asshole, I guess."

"I wouldn't agree eight years ago, whatever the Sage of the Six Paths thought about it. But damn it, brat, it's been eight years, and all he's done is support you, no matter what. It irks me still to think of it, but maybe… just maybe, he's rid himself of the Uchiha curse. Maybe you were right to believe in him all those years, you know."

Naruto sighed, and finished his meal in silence.

* * *

><p>Sasuke checked the small screen in the device he currently held.<p>

"I think they're straight ahead, now" he said, as they crossed the desolate land.

"Can you see them?" Kakashi asked.

"No, there's too much interference. I think we can follow the wildlife, though." He pointed upwards.

A large flock of different species of birds were flying in formation.

Half an hour later, they reached an area strewn with fresh corpses, both animal and human. Some of the corpses were recognizable as S-class missing nin.

"Well, seems we reached the Ookami's territory. We can't go further without permission." Kiba said, and howled.

Sasuke and Kakashi exchanged a look, and the former copy-nin shrugged.

"What now?" Sasuke demanded.

A loud howl came from the distance.

"Now", Kiba said with a smug grin, "I'll teach you how to behave _properly_ around real royalty."

* * *

><p>The list of things Sasuke could honestly say that impressed him was unsurprisingly short: Itachi's loyalty to his village (however tainted with insanity it was), Naruto (he had decided to clump all of the things he found impressive in him together, for his pride's sake), his children's stoicism. He grudgingly added the creature in front of him to the list.<p>

The white wolf was taller than him, and the power that emanated from it was suffocating. A bloody handprint lay from its forehead to its snout.

He carefully laid his weapons down, keeping his hands visible at all times, as Kiba had told him to, and opened his arms and legs so the wolf could inspect him, his head high.

'You're her father, so he should recognize her scent on you; that means you have to stand proud, 'cause parents don't show submissiveness to pups, and even though it's a god, she's not Ashi's mate yet' Sasuke had given him a murderous look, but Kiba ignored it 'and so you're her alpha. So you show him your respect as an equal, nothing more and for fuck's sake, nothing less, Sasuke, or he might think you're a threat to her and rip your head off before you blink.'

His companions were lying on their backs in submission, a few feet away from him, closer to where they set up camp.

The enormous wolf began sniffing him, carefully.

'Now, I know you're not going to like this' Kiba had said, 'but he'll be testing you by sniffing. It's a sign of trust amongst canines to let the other smell you everywhere and I do mean _everywhere_. So what you have to do is stand still and not let him sense fear, aggression or arrogance from you. No matter where he puts his nose. It's really important that you control what you feel, because he'll smell it, but do not make eye contact with him yet. At the same time, you can't just stand there and let your mind wander, you have to pay attention to what he's doing; that'll show him that you don't underestimate him. If you lose focus, he will lose face, and it'll be worse for you if he does.'

Sasuke had thought it wouldn't be as bad as being examined in the hospital, but he quickly changed his mind. He had to give it to the mutt; controlling his body's reactions, and allowing for a giant wolf to stick and shove its nose wherever it wanted to was a difficult task which required an inordinate amount of patience and self-knowledge.

Nevertheless, he stood his ground.

'One other thing: after he sniffs you, he'll try to assert his dominance over you. He might grab some part of your body with his teeth, or try to topple you, or snarl. Don't try to snarl or growl back at him, he's not stupid. He knows you're human and will expect a human reaction from you. That's when you'll make eye contact with him. If he tries to shove you off your feet, stand your ground and glare at him, but again, for fuck's sake don't challenge him. Meet him in the middle, acknowledge him as your equal, and keep the stare for as long as it takes. You'll know when it's over, he'll tug your hand for you to follow him.'

The wolf, apparently satisfied with Sasuke's scent, stood a few feet in front of him, and lowered his head, snarling. Sasuke followed a gut feeling, and gave a pointed look at the bloody handprint on its head, before glaring straight at its eyes. He had a long experience with staring contests.

It was a full five minutes before the snarling giant wolf raised its head, shook his body, and howled its approval. It tugged at Sasuke's hand with the tip of its snout, and he took it as his cue, gathering the supplies and weapons before following it.

* * *

><p>Sasuke saw the first hints of life five minutes after leaving the camp.<p>

At first, it was the green-gray of lichen covering the dry earth, but soon there was moisture in the ground, and moss had spread in a mile-wide circle. After that, weeds and grass covered the earth.

Shrubbery already grew in sparse bunches as he reached his daughter. By then, the air reeked of blood, and his sandals sloshed in bloody mud. The power shimmied in the air, constricting his airways and making his eyes bleed, despite his subdued chakra.

She lay under an outcrop that faced away from the sun, over the remains of a sleepbag, with her back propped up against a rock.

He sat down beside her and pulled her upper body up into a tight hug. Her lower body was covered in the blood that flowed in rivulets from her. He could feel the intense heat radiating from her body.

"Papa…" she said through parched lips, in a weak voice.

He quickly pulled his canteen and wet her lips.

"I'm here, it's all right now." He saw a mangled canteen a few feet away, while coughing. "What happened?"

"Ashi went off to get some wood, and some ninja were there. The canteen broke in the fight." She said after drinking half the canteen, and whimpered in pain. "He couldn't get more, and I can't move." She looked at him again. "I'm all here, can't wake Aniki. Can't sleep, either."

The amount of pain she was enduring was obvious in her dilated pupils and greenish pale face. The white of her eyes shone eerily.

"Sakura sent some pain medication for you, can you use it?" He asked.

"No… I tried to take a painkiller back home and threw up. Can you put down some water for Ashi too?" she asked.


	8. Chapter 8

Naruto was looking out the window when his door opened. He turned around to see Sai and Shikamaru coming in.

"Any news"? He asked in a tired voice.

"Nothing yet." Shikamaru answered him, and took a seat. Sai set up a large bottle and a few cups on the Hokage's desk, then went to pull Naruto off the window.

"Come on, dickless, it's no use staring at the window like that; news will come when they do."

Naruto left the window and sagged down on his chair.

"Three days", he said, rubbing at his face, and grimaced at the smell of alcohol, as Sai opened the bottle and served the three cups.

"What's that, sake?" He reached out for one.

"Nope, shoju." Sai grinned at Naruto's choking noises. "Since you're not willing to eat, I thought I'd drink you under the table, maybe that'll make you take a nap."

"What time is it?" Naruto asked after he got his breath back.

"Two a.m. and all is well in Konoha." Shikamaru answered in his usual bored tone. "Don't get your panties in a twist, nobody will know about this little happy-hour."

They drank in silence for a while, Naruto aware of Sai's attention on him. He finally snapped at the Anbu commander.

"Spit it out Sai."

"If you insist", Sai said, putting his cup on the desk and crossing his legs. "Have you thought about what you'll do when they come back? Or have you resigned yourself to adjusting your antenna for the rest of your life?"

Naruto frowned. "Huh?"

"Bludgeoning the beefsteak, checking for testicular cancer, discovering your own potential, frosting the pastries, going Hans Solo on Darth Wader's head," Shikamaru chuckled at that one, "Hosing down the driveway, making the world safe for democracy," Sai continued.

"Hear, hear" Shikamaru raised his refilled cup at him, while Naruto kept a confused look on his face.

"Opening the flood gates, putting your best foot forward, rubbing Buddha's tummy, stretching the truth, tending to your own affairs, unpacking the moving van, doing some wrist aerobics…"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Naruto interrupted.

"Masturbating, Naruto." Shikamaru explained with a smirk.

Naruto raised his eyebrows. "Please tell me whatever book you got that from is not within reach of Konoha civilians."

Sai smiled. "Nope, I bought it at Kumogakure. So… have you?"

Naruto groaned and looked down at his drink. "Thought? Yeah. Know what I'm going to do to make up for what I said, on the other hand…" he sighed. "Shit, I did let the job go over my head, didn't I?" He refilled his cup.

"If you mean you've been acting like a shithead for the last month, yeah." Shikamaru said.

Naruto winced.

"Don't make that face, that's one of the nicest terms people have been using to refer to you." Sai said, reaching for a refill.

"Really?" Naruto gave him a guilty look.

"Yeah. Though my favorite is douchenoggin." Sai smirked. "Not that most of us didn't see it coming, I was surprised you didn't turn into a complete cuntosaurus right after the war. Guess we all have Wifezilla to thank for that."

"And for this, too; apparently, he's the best at taking your head out of your ass." Shikamaru added.

"And that is what brings us here. Not that getting drunk on Shoju in your office isn't nice, you know" Sai said, "but we want you to put Sasuke in the Council."

Naruto gaped at him. "You can't be serious, he's already gonna barbecue me for being an asshole to him, guys. You know how happy he is with the research lab, he'll Chidori my dick off if I take him out of there. And the kids will hold me still for him to do it, too."

"The Council only meets once a month or in emergencies, he can stay head of ITR and be in it at the same time." Shikamaru said.

"Yeah but he's not head of… oh. Oh." Naruto's eyes brightened.

Shikamaru and Sai raised their cups at him with sly smiles on each of their faces.

* * *

><p>Sasuke sat beside his daughter, panting a bit. The giant white wolf sat on its haunches a few feet away.<p>

"Sorry for the radio interference, Papa." She grunted, moving forward so he could put a folded blanket behind her sore back. "How are Kakashi-sensei and Kiba?"

"They stopped a couple of idiots who were trying to come this way, but are fine. Here, have some soup." He handed her a thermos, and looked around. Life was blooming further now, and he was able to breathe a little better near her. Ishoo seemed a little less pained, too. It looked like she had gone through the peak of her energy release.

When he had first come for her, the sheer power coming forth from her body had been staggering, burning his airways, his eyes, and resonating through his bones, making it impossible to be near her for long. He had been able to get some water for her and Ashi, still in wolf form, and give her some blood replenishing pills, but had to retreat after that. He hadn't dared to use any chakra abilities, his eyes had been burning and his vision fogged long before he reached her, even without the use of his bloodline limit. One dumb sod of a nuke-nin had apparently tried to use ninjutsu to get near, and his body had simply shred apart, the pieces scattered and already becoming food for carrion eaters, at the outskirts where lichen grew.

It made him happy that he was able to hold Naruto back. The complete idiot would have just rushed in and been blown to bits without even noticing it.

He couldn't help but scowl at thinking about Naruto.

"You guys fought back home." It wasn't a question.

"Why didn't you call for us?" He asked her in a pained voice.

She gave him a hard, long look. "Have you got the slightest idea how much this hurts? I couldn't think, it was hard enough to move away when I saw Aniki getting hurt. I just reacted, when Ashi found me I was already been pulled here. I was sure this was gonna rip me apart."

He lowered his head. "Your stupid tou-chan wanted to come too."

"Good thing he didn't, kages aren't supposed to leave their villages just because they want to." She said, taking another drink of her soup.

"I told him that."

"And then he yelled at you. Like always."

"No," he sighed. "This time he really hurt me."

She opened her arms, and he rested his head on her shoulder.

"Want me to get back at him for you?" she asked, hugging him.

"As tempting as the idea of having him impaled in a high pole and you kids using his guts as a swing is, no. I hope he'll learn by not getting any news until you get better." He answered with a smirk.

"Ooooh, evil, you go, Papa, that'll teach his fail ass. And if it doesn't, we'll feed him nothing but natto for a month."

Sasuke chuckled. "If it comes to that, we'll make him spend the month at the Tower, no way I'm having natto farts pollute our home."

"Deal", she said, and high-fived him.

* * *

><p>"So… the Inuzuka equivalent of the Mangekyou is turning into an actual dog." Kakashi said, and snorted behind his book.<p>

"Wolf-god. Better than being a copy-cat." Kiba retorted. "Damn, when Hana hears about this there will be no stopping that woman, her head gonna get so big we'll have to install double doors." He laughed.

"I wonder what Ashi thinks about all this." Kakashi mused.

"Shit, if he was giving himself airs before, nobody gonna convince him he's not alpha now." Kiba took a sip of tea.

"Better buy him a groin guard then, his intended likes to play dirty." Kakashi said with a smirk.

"Wonder how our dear Hokage is doing right now, what with Sasuke not letting us send messages to him and all", Kiba mused. He had sent a quick message to his family, with instructions not to tell anyone, and Inuzukas, despite being loud, were discreet when needed.

"Don't know, don't care, will not meddle." Kakashi stated, turning a page.

"Oi, Kakashi. How can you be so calm with…er, all this?" Kiba asked.

Kakashi put his Icha-Icha down and gave him a thoughtful look.

"Were you calm the first time you saw Hariko swallow a target?" He asked Kiba.

"No, actually, I almost peed my pants" Kiba answered earnestly. His own R&R team consisted of him, Aburame Seya (who was the first Aburame to successfully grow a colony of Bicochu in his body), Hyuuga Maki, and Akimichi Hariko, Chouji's cousin, a short girl with an hourglass figure and a very unconventional approach to her clan's signature jutsu.

"But you're used to it now", Kakashi stated. "The first time my team went on a mission together I was also shocked. More even because Ashi thought it was a good idea to use pelicans – we were in Wave – to carry bits and pieces of our target ahead of us to the meeting point. The Daimyo is probably still angry that they lost his pinky. But you get used to it after a while. In a sense, I think this" he pointed to the direction the others were "is quite poetic, really."

Kiba snorted. "Who could believe you had it in you to find anything poetic? But yeah, I guess it is, in a weird way." He sniffed the air. "I think we better pull camp back a little further."

* * *

><p>Naruto held his son's hand while Sakura looked wearily at him.<p>

"You'll have to sleep sometime, you know." She said quietly.

He shrugged. "Not before he wakes up. It's been five days, Sakura. Five days and not one message." He felt tears welling up.

"If there had been any problem, they would have let us know already." She put her hand in his shoulder. "Stop worrying for nothing, Naruto."

He pursed his lips. "If they had at least acknowledged the messages I've sent."

Sakura giggled, while checking on the boy's IV. "Serves you right, you know. I would have done the same thing in Sasuke's place."

He groaned.

"Seriously, Naruto, what the hell were you thinking when you said that to him? The man has done nothing but support you since the end of the war, even more after the old Council was disbanded. I think you got off easy, I don't know what I would've done in his place, but it wouldn't be pretty." She said, sitting down to jot notes on her chart.

"I wasn't. Thinking, I mean. All I did was react to what he had said."

"I'd imagine the king of Talk-no-Jutsu wouldn't projectile vomit in reaction to something that is true, no matter how crudely it was said." She gave him a stern look.

He banged his head on the mattress. "Shit, is every single person in this village going to throw that in my face? Even old man Teuchi said he's not selling me ramen for a month, I'm seriously going into withdrawal" he whined.

"Of course we are, you're Hokage now. The Hokage has no excuse to being an asshole to people, especially when he's wrong." She said.

He sighed. "Yeah, but I'm here, I didn't go after them. Doesn't that count for anything?"

"Sure it did, you're still Hokage. If you had gone, Konohamaru would have been instated in your place already." She smiled at him when he winced. "Come on, it's actually good that this happened now, sooner or later you'd have to learn that being Hokage isn't all fun and games. And that even _you_ can't get away with everything."

Naruto opened his mouth to retort, but shut it when he felt a movement against his hand.

Amachi slowly opened his eyes. "Ow", he said with a weak voice.

Sakura and Naruto got up immediately.

"You're back! What happened? How's everybody? Are they coming back now? Is Sasuke ok?" Naruto asked.

"Whoa, calm down, Naruto, he just woke up, give him some space, damn it!" Sakura shoved him away, and gave the boy some water.

"Thanks, Sakura-chan…" Amachi groaned. "Sheesh, calm down, Oyaji. Everything is fine, some dumb ninjas tried to get near, but nothing much happened." He took a breath. "Damn, girls have it rough, though, I was sure I wouldn't make it the first three days." He gave Sakura a respectful nod. "You're damn brave to actually want to have a kid, I suppose giving birth hurts just as much."

Sakura laughed. "Yeah, but it doesn't last so long. Besides, the result is worth the pain." She caressed her belly with a fond look.

"About results… I think the land there is clean of whatever it was that killed it in the war, at least where they are. They should be able to come back soon, the worse days are over now. Good thing too, the only one who could come near was Ashi, and that because he turned into this wolf-thing when I touched him. Chichi almost died when he reached us."

Naruto squeezed his son's hand.

"Don't fret, though, he didn't. But it'd be nice if a med-nin looked at him when they come back, I think he's got internal burns. His eyes were bleeding a little before I woke up, and he was coughing some blood, too. I think the energy was too much for him." Amachi stated, and frowned at Naruto. "Good thing you didn't haul your fail ass there, the way you jump into shit you'd have been blown to bits just like this dumbass ninja did, tried to cast a jutsu and went boom before we could do anything."

"That bad, huh? I was thinking it'd go like that, it's pretty much why female jinchuuriki have to be assisted while giving birth; the energy hurts the bijuu so much, sometimes they thrash enough to break the seal that's already weakened by the life force. I can only imagine how much it hurts to bring forth the amount of life she did these days." Sakura commented.

Naruto hugged his son tightly. "I'm sorry."

"Just don't do that again, ok?" Amachi hugged him back. "Cause if you do, you'll be eating natto for a month. AND you'll be sleeping at the Tower, so we don't have to deal with your chemical waste."

Naruto was asleep before his son finished talking, and Amachi rolled his eyes while Sakura giggled.

"Baka Oyaji" he snorted.


	9. Chapter 9

Kakashi couldn't help but stop at the spectacle in front of him, though his throat was already itching.

Millions – no, scratch that, BILLIONS – of small yellow butterflies covered the bloody ground, except for the straight, clear path he followed Sasuke in. He watched as they moved their wings lazily, sipping at the wetness in a wide ring.

Sasuke had asked him to help fetch the teens this morning. He had already told him about the new life sprouting forth, but nothing could prepare him for the sheer beauty of it, though marred somewhat by the incredible stench, similar yet unlike the one from a fresh battlefield.

"Come on, Kakashi, we have to get them and leave before you get sick." Sasuke called from ahead, coughing. He followed.

His jaw nearly hit the ground when they reached the inner circle where the teens were, two hours later.

A veritable jungle had sprouted up, and between the rocks Ishoo was propped up against, fresh water ran, forming the beginning of a rivulet that ran sideways from where she lay out cold.

Ashi was lying asleep a few feet from her, buck naked and filthy. His clan tattoos had disappeared from his face; his forehead now had the Ookami kanji branded red, as by hot irons.

"Holy shit" Kakashi whispered. Tall trees had grown around the area, and birds were nesting on them. One landed on the girl's short hair, which had gone darker and now seemed more like graphite or dark steel than the ash-blond it was before.

The air burned his airways.

"Get Ashi." Sasuke commanded, picking his daughter up, huffing with the effort to unstick her legs from the coagulated blood mess. Kakashi bent and picked up the sleeping boy, and they hurried back.

Kiba had already packed, and helped Kakashi move Ashi onto Akamaru's back.

"There's a stream back where you came from..." he started.

"The water here isn't safe, we should cross the border first." Sasuke said, making a clone to carry his bags.

They traveled quickly, and Kiba noticed Sasuke's face redden with wheezing breaths.

"Dude, are you all right? I can carry her for you." He said.

"No." There was no argument there.

Two hours into Fire Country they finally stopped. Ashi was still out cold, but Ishoo was up and she had been running ahead for the last fifteen minutes.

"BATH! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATH TIIIIIIME! FINALYYYYYYY!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, and somersaulted off the bridge, hitting the lake under it headfirst with a loud splash.

"Could've waited until we reached an inn, or a hot spring, you know" Sasuke called, as they made their way down.

Kakashi snickered. "Like she cares, I've seen her crack frozen lakes to bathe. In that one respect she's the fussiest girl I've met."

She ran off the lake and rushed back to where Ashi was on top of Akamaru, hauling the boy (whom Kiba had dressed up somewhat, for decency's sake) and dragging him up the bridge, only to throw him into the lake and jump back in.

"GAAAHHHHRRRRRKKKK!" the boy howled as he came up. "BATH TIME, ASHI-BAKA!" Ishoo yelled and pushed his head under the water again.

"What the hell, koishii!" He wailed when she let him go.

"Uh oh." Kiba mumbled, and looked at Kakashi. He received a resigned sigh and a shrug in response, as Sasuke, who was digging for something in his backpack, froze at the boy's scream, and turned his head toward the water in slow motion.

The kids had stopped arguing and were looking at Sasuke, Ashi with a deer in the headlights look, and Ishoo blushing furiously.

Sasuke picked up the bars of soap he was looking for and stood up in a slow, deliberate motion.

Kakashi wondered if there was another natural as Ashi in this year's Academy graduates, because it seemed his team would be one Inuzuka short.

Akamaru covered his eyes with his paws, as Sasuke slowly took of his sandals and walked onto the lake.

"I told you to stop calling me that, you turd!" Ishoo muttered under her breath, as Ashi tried to huddle, and shoved him away. "Now you deal with him, idiot!" she muttered again, before diving and swimming away.

Sasuke was coming at him, and he desperately tried to huddle all by himself, remembering all the times his uncle, his mother and his grandmother had gossiped about his koishii's father's legendary homicidal tendencies when it came to his family.

'Oshitoshitoshit crazy dude killed his own brother without even stopping to think straight first… tried to kill Naruto-sama thrice… Kiba said he'd make sashimi of my wiener..." he thought; 'don't panic, dumbass, he's not gonna kill you!' he chided himself, "You just saved his daughter, the wolf-god chose YOU to guard her, you didn't do anything wrong and it's proof koishii is your pack, just like the Sage proved Sasuke and Naruto-sama were destined to be mates! Be brave and face your intended's alpha like a man!'

Sasuke narrowed his eyes as the boy took a long breath and got up on the water to face him proudly.

Kiba covered his eyes, trembling at the boy's audacity.

Ashi stretched all of his 5'6" and looked up straight at the taller man as he slowly approached.

Sasuke stopped into his personal space and growled low at him, his hands in his hips.

Ashi took a breath and looked back with a serious face, then tipped his head to the side, exposing his neck while keeping eye contact.

Kakashi and Kiba let out a breath they didn't know they were holding.

"Hn." Sasuke pulled the boy's hand and put a bar of soap in it, and pointed to the other side of the lake. The Inuzuka looked at him and ran off to bathe away from them.

Sasuke looked down at the face looking up at him. "If he does anything stupid again, I'll rip his eyebrows off." She smiled and tickled his feet, and he fell in the water with a splash.

* * *

><p>They reached Konoha four days later.<p>

Ishoo had threatened to hack Sasuke to pieces and carry him in a bag to the hospital if he didn't go willingly, and since he knew his daughter would easily do it (especially after Kakashi noncommittally held a large hatchet to her, to which she gleefully thanked him), they had gone in as the sun set.

Tsunade greeted them.

"Baa-chan, where's Sakura-chan?" Ishoo asked, while Tsunade examined Sasuke.

"She's home, can't have her rolling around the hospital and peeing on the floor all the time, so I sent her on early maternity leave." Tsunade said, motioning for Sasuke to open his mouth.

"She peed on the floor?" Ishoo widened her eyes and fell into a laughing fit.

"Yes, apparently her little Maito likes to jump over her bladder." She smirked. "Sasuke, you have got some extensive burns over your lungs, your throat and your eyes, nothing unexpected due to your bloodline limit and your affinity to fire jutsu, and your upper limbs as well. However, due to the nature of the burns I can't really heal you. You'll have to go without using either your limit or any ninjutsu whatsoever for at least two weeks."

Sasuke glared at her. "What?"

"The energy that burned your tissue is Ishoo's energy. Your body just doesn't want to be healed by chakra, it prefers her energy."

"Explain yourself." His glare deepened.

Tsunade sighed. "The lesions that were made by your body coming in contact with her energy are being substituted with new, stronger, more resilient tissue. Better than what you had before. Here, let me show you" she pulled a senbon from her hair and pushed it into his hand. Sasuke looked as the senbon pushed and pushed, but didn't tear his skin.

He pulled a kunai from his belt and shoved it in his hand with enough strength to rip through the other side, but all it did was leave a faint mark on his skin.

"What the hell?" He growled.

"Oh look, just like Aniki and me." Ishoo commented.

He gave his daughter an alarmed look, and faced Tsunade again. "Is this permanent?"

"No, the people we had here with a similar condition are still able to use chakra to perform jutsu, the body seems to adapt after a while. The beneficial side effects to the new tissue seem to be permanent, though." She jotted something on his chart. "It seems to be a characteristic of people from the other continent, since primal energy doesn't work through pathways, and instead is part of the atomic structure. They have a lot more of it than we do, so their atomic integrity is stronger."

"Which is why ninja have a hard time killing them. Didn't Kakashi tell you about the time we rescued Shion-sama? He tried using Chidori, took him two of them to get one of the mercenaries off him. Since there were like a hundred of them going at us, I had to take him down to pull him to safety." Ishoo told him.

Sasuke pursed his lips as he sensed a familiar chakra signature coming down the hall. "Fine. But this is classified information. And I don't want the idiot to know."

Tsunade smirked mischievously at him. "Don't worry about it, be it far from me to meddle in marital issues." She left the room as Naruto entered.

"Uh, er, I'm gonna go home see what's for dinner." Ishoo said, and kicked Naruto's leg before she left.

Naruto winced before locking the exam room's door behind him.

Sasuke was standing with his arms crossed, glaring at him and tapping his foot.

'Oh, not the tapping of the foot…' Naruto thought, dread pooling on his stomach.

On the other side of the door, Sai and Shikamaru sighed, and Sai quickly cast a soundproofing jutsu. Shikamaru pulled a small notebook and a pen out of his jacket with a flare.

"100 ryo on Naruto getting his eyebrows burned off, boys" Ino said, giving them one bill as she passed by them.

"Mark me down for 50 on asphyxiation!" Chouji called from the corner.

"250 on massive head trauma!" Tsunade almost yelled, running at them all the way from the stairs at the far end of the hallway with the money flapping on her hand.

"70 bucks on his ear being ripped out" Shizune said. "Right one."

"Anyone for severe genital damage? Severe genital damage, ladies and gentlemen! Place your bets now!" Sai called out gleefully.

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry, Sasuke." Naruto said. "You were right, I was wrong."<p>

"Do you really think that's all it's going to take?" Sasuke said in a dark tone.

Naruto sighed. "Please, please, please, for fuck's sake, forgive me? I admit it, I treated you horribly. I have been an asshole. I thought that when I became Hokage everything would be a breeze, I'd be automatically smarter and cooler and more powerful than anything and anyone, and everybody would recognize my awesomeness, and… it went over my head big time."

Sasuke snarled and grabbed Naruto by the neck, shoving him against the door.

* * *

><p>"First round has begun, ladies and gentlemen! Anyone who hasn't placed their bets yet better hurry!" Sai said, as he and Shikamaru felt the thump against the door.<p>

* * *

><p>Naruto punched Sasuke in the gut.<p>

"I said I was sorry, gods damn it!" he growled, as Sasuke loosened his grip just enough for him to breathe.

"You think sorry is enough? Have you got any idea how you humiliated me?" Sasuke grunted at him, his own frustration at being cut off from his chakra adding up to his rage.

"I know you're pissed, I know I was an asshole, I'm fucking sorry!" Naruto said through his teeth, panting. 'How the hell did his fucking hand get this strong?' he thought, as he tried freeing himself from Sasuke's granite grip. "You're not the only one who was publicly humiliated, bastard!"

Naruto pulled him close by his collar. "I have been pissed upon by every single motherfucking ninja in this village because of what I said to you, teme, and they don't even know the facts, only that I mistreated you because of the kids. Fucking _Teuchi_ has banned me from getting damn ramen for a gods' damned month, dattebayo!"

Sasuke blinked. "Hold on. Ichiraku Teuchi has banned you from his shop?"

Naruto had tears in his eyes. "From ALL ramen shops in the village! And Gaara said he'll come throw rotten fruit at me at Hokage day!"

Sasuke couldn't help but snort, then inwardly snicker at the mental image.

"I didn't sleep five minutes from the time we woke up that night until Amachi-kun woke up from his coma, bastard. I was terrified for you." Naruto whispered, laying his forehead against his.

"Hn."

"And… I realized I can't do this by myself. So, um…" Naruto fidgeted, when Sasuke finally let go of his neck, and dropped his hand down to his waist. "I've named you to the Council, pleasedon'tkillme" he mumbled the last.

Sasuke slammed his other hand in the door next to his face.

"YOU WHAT?"

* * *

><p>"Second round is officially UP, ladies and gentlemen! Place your bets!" Sai called out, as Shikamaru collected money and furiously jotted names down on his notebook. The line of gamblers now started out of the hospital, the current patients having had their bets taken first.<p>

* * *

><p>"I named you to the Council. I need you to balance me out, Sasuke." Naruto pleaded, giving nervous side looks to the hand half-buried in the steel door. He was absolutely sure Sasuke had used zero chakra to do that, and it irked him.<p>

"What the fuck am I supposed to do with my job at ITR, you twat? I'm not leaving it, we actually fucking _need_ those new weapons and devices now! I am not leaving my work just because you're a dead last idiot who acts before he thinks!"

"Um, I talked to Ibiki and the board and they conceded that you trade places with him, and Gai and Lee will help him" Naruto said quickly. "That way you can still work there but you don't have to run all the tests for the new stuff, only the last and you won't have to miss Council meetings, which are only once a month…" He was entirely grateful for whatever god had refrained Sasuke from Mangekyouing him so far.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. No way had the usuratonkachi thought of all that by himself. Somebody must have come up with this idea, probably Shikamaru, but whoever did it, they did it for a serious reason. The dobe must have been in some really hot water for the last week, indeed.

Sasuke had already butted heads with Morino Ibiki many times, and it wasn't like Sasuke himself wasn't in better terms with the technicians and engineers than the head of the ITR since it was the Torture and Interrogation Force. Also, having Ibiki take charge of the tests would definitely put the old man on his toes and maybe, just maybe, appreciate more the effort placed in developing what he called "useless junk".

Being in the Council would also most definitely make Naruto think many times before acting out at him, and at anyone else, too. Sasuke would make sure of it.

It didn't help fuel his anger much that he had been able to hold Naruto off him single-handedly with no chakra. The Hokage had always been physically stronger, and whatever else Sasuke could feel about the damage done to him the last days, his sudden surge of brute strength actually turned him on. A lot, let it be said. He wondered what else could he do with that strength, and smirked, pressing Naruto against the door by his collarbone with one hand, and reaching for his shirt collar with the other.

Naruto widened his eyes. "Oi. Oi. Oi. Can we talk about this?" he said, raising his hands. Sasuke pulled, ripping off his top in one swift movement, and reached to his pants.

"Wa-wa-waaaaaait, dattebayo!" Naruto screamed. "I didn't bring any fresh clothes!"

"Idiot, my backpack is right here, wear mine." Sasuke said in a husky voice, ripping his pants and boxers off him.

Naruto gulped, and was flung across the room, landing on his back in a bed.

"Sa-Sasuke, wait. Waaait, waaait…" he pleaded, as Sasuke came to him slowly, shedding his clothes.

"Shut up." Sasuke stradled his waist, and bent to look attentively at him. "Your beard is too long now. I like it shorter. Bristly."

"Um, I'll bet I can find a barbershop open, if you just lemme go I'll" Naruto started, but was cut short by a harsh kiss.

Naruto gave out an agonized moan as Sasuke started to pinch his torso, leaving ugly looking bruises. Whatever the hell had happened to the bastard, it had given him some ridiculous strength, and soon Naruto hurt everywhere. He didn't complain, though, because it hurt Just. So. Damn. Good.

He thought he would come right there when Sasuke bit on his neck, it hurt that good. It felt like light acid burns lingered wherever Sasuke's hands or his mouth touched, pinched, pressed, sucked, licked or bit, together with the usual pain, and Naruto had privately admitted to being a pain slut to Sasuke's rough handling a long time ago.

He screamed as Sasuke sat on his thighs and pulled him up by his nipples, the lustful snarl on his face making him roll his eyes back in pleasure. Sasuke grabbed the hairs on his neck and pulled his head back to lick at his Adam's apple, and he shivered.

"Oh, gods, yes" He panted, as he was bit on the curve where his neck met his shoulder. "Eat me…" he whispered in Sasuke's ear.

"I thought you told me to wait." Sasuke whispered back.

"I must have been temporarily sane, those words don't count. And you're wasting my sweet juices." Naruto taunted breathlessly, feeling blood running down.

Sasuke chuckled darkly, and lapped at his collarbone. Naruto buried his nose on his hair. "Man, you smell so good" he moaned, licking from his neck to his shoulder and back, his hands pressing on the swell of Sasuke's back.

"I bet I stink, didn't have time to really bathe properly after getting back, our baby girl threatened to bring me here in pieces if I tried to go home first." Sasuke said, and nibbled at Naruto's ear.

"Yeah? Be making bathing illegal then." Naruto whispered huskily between moans.

"And here was I thinking I'm the scent pervert" Sasuke mumbled. Naruto responded by nuzzling his armpit.

He cried out in pleasure when Sasuke bit the back of his shoulder. Sasuke took it as his cue to get off the bed, push Naruto to sit up, and begin marking his back as he had done his front.

Naruto cried out again when his upper back was raked deep enough to bleed, throwing his head back on Sasuke's shoulder. Sasuke had to reach over and grip his cock hard to keep him from coming, before beginning to look around frantically.

Naruto noticed a scrap of paper being kicked under the door, and pointed at it.

Sasuke ran, grabbed it, read it, and hastily grabbed a bottle from a cabinet drawer before slipping under Naruto.

"You owe Sai a raise", he said, while coating Naruto's fingers.

"Yes, ma'am."

Sasuke fumed in anger and slapped his face, and Naruto froze.

Sasuke bit back the scathing retort he was preparing when the man turned his face at him with a lustful, half-crazed look.

"Do that again." Naruto said hungrily, slipping two lubed fingers up inside Sasuke.

Sasuke slapped him again.

"Harder" Naruto pleaded, pushing his fingers straight into Sasuke's sweet spot once more and taking them out.

Sasuke hit him on his other cheek, and screamed when Naruto filled him in one quick, hard thrust.

"Harder."

Another slap to Naruto's face, another slam up Sasuke's ass.

"Ngh… usuratonkachi, do you really want me to spoil your face so much?"

"I'll heal. Do it."

So he did.

Sasuke slammed his palm on Naruto's face as hard as the man slammed into him, and though he would never admit it, he loved it and the adrenaline that came with knowing that even though the humiliating hand marks would be healed by next morning, they would still be visible until this day was over.

He stopped, though, when Naruto's orgasmic screams drove him over the edge and made him kiss his dobe senseless.

* * *

><p>"Told you Wifezilla would bitchslap Naruto black and blue" Sai said later at the bar, counting a huge wad of bills.<p>

"You got lucky the hand prints were darker than the strangle bruises on his neck, tho." Shikamaru told him.

"You made the rules, most severe damage wins. Anyway, Chouji won last time and he didn't pay for the after-match booze, so here's to Sai!" Tsunade cheered.

"Hear, hear!" Kakashi raised his own sake cup.

"Oh, come on, I paid for my share, that counts!" Chouji ranted.


	10. Chapter 10

At dawn, Tsume found Ashi sitting on a rock near the borders of the Inuzuka compound, hugging his knees.

The boy had been uncharacteristically quiet after returning home, shying away from all the praise his family had given him.

"Ashi-kun, talk to me." She said, crouching by his side.

"My koishii is going to die, baa-chan" he said in a desolate tone.

Tsume raised her eyebrows. "Everyone dies, Ashi. But Ishoo-chan is young, and powerful, you shouldn't be so worried. She has you, doesn't she?"

Ashi shook his head. "Baa-chan, when we were there and the Ookami came through me, I had to fight and kill the ninja that were trying to take power from her. Baa-chan, she gave her own flesh and blood, she gave it to the earth so that everyone could have some, and still they wanted it for them alone. And I know what happened when Kaguya stole that power from the earth, she stole what was willingly given to everyone out of love. That is what my koishii's bodies are, they are power given to not one, but all, and if I fail… I can't let Ookami fail again, baa-chan, even if I have to kill my beloved. But it's so hard, baa-chan, and koishii knows and expects me to and it's just **so hard**!" he cried out, tears rolling freely down his face.

"Yes, I know it's hard. But Ashi, if you were chosen, it's because you are strong enough." Tsume wiped his tears with her hands. "Ookami knows the soul of every Inuzuka, and he has only graced the bravest, kindest and most honored as his vessels. Besides… the gods have sent your koishii to Naruto and Sasuke. You are not" she held his hands, "listen to me. You are not alone protecting her. But" and she gave him a serious look "I think it's time you make your intentions clear to your koishii's parents."

* * *

><p>Cheap and plentiful energy was wonderful in many levels, but for ninjas everywhere in the eastern nations the best thing that came out of harnessing solar energy was the development of electric showerheads that made the hassle of running out of hot water a thing of the past.<p>

Most ninja families had built extra bathrooms just so everyone could enjoy their long, piping hot showers at whatever time they felt like it, and the Uchiha-Uzumakis weren't different.

Their home now sported three different bathrooms, the main where they could actually bathe in the large round wooden bath, and two other much smaller ones, one at the dojo and the other annexed to the kids' bedroom, the teenagers having never had any issues with sharing the same sleeping space not only because they were basically the same person, so had no conflicting tastes or other sibling issues, but also because they didn't feel the need to isolate themselves from their parents, what with being almost all the time away in missions (the recent years having proved Amachi's idea of rescue and retrieval teams specialized in bringing back targets alive and often in one piece a resounding success), having the dojo for slumber parties and whatnot.

It wasn't a surprise, then, that when Naruto and Sasuke got home both showers in the main house were being occupied, while food was left to cook by itself in the oven and the rice cooker, as it was the case whenever Amachi, who was as lazy as Shikamaru when it came to cooking (and had actually traded recipes with the man so he could feed Temari decently when she came over to Konoha, the couple having decided that neither was interested in traditional marriage and so living in separate villages suit them just fine), made dinner.

Not that their parents complained, the kid cooked better than Chouji's mother.

"Oi! Are you gonna finish soon?" Naruto knocked on the door and called out to the main bathroom from the hall, bright orange towel and pajamas in tow.

"Go away! I got here first!" was the feminine reply. Naruto rolled his tired eyes, and gruntingly made his way out to the dojo, muttering about demanding temes and barbershops.

He pushed open the tiny bathroom's door. "Don't even think about shooing me, 'm tired, teme", he said as he hanged his towel and clothes behind the door and began undressing.

"Wait for your turn and I won't throw you out then", Sasuke said, sighing under the blissfully hot water.

Naruto pushed the shower curtain and went in the teeny shower space regardless of the warning.

"Dobe I've spent almost ten days out and I only had one wash up in the lake four days ago before getting back home, let me finish, damn it."

Naruto grabbed the washcloth and poured some liquid soap in it. "Turn around; I'll wash your back. And we can have a decent bath tomorrow; I'm taking the day off. We can go to the onsen and relax."

"Bad idea." Sasuke turned his back to him.

"Why?" Naruto started scrubbing, and smiled at the appreciative groan he got in response.

"Because if we go, the Inuzuka boy will find a way to be there at the same time. I can't control what happens when they go on missions, but hell if I'll let him ogle our babies right under our noses." Sasuke growled.

"Sasuke, Ishoo-chan would be on the other section of the onsen."

"He wants both, usuratonkachi." Sasuke turned around and inspected Naruto's face. "That's better", he said, nuzzling his cheek. "Turn around."

Naruto's jaw was still hanging when he did. "What did you say?"

"While you were pretending they were innocent little tykes, I talked to Amachi-kun; he told me the little mutt is in love with them. And he called Ishoo-chan koishii in front of everyone when we were coming back." Sasuke said in a conversational tone, while scrubbing his back.

Naruto went livid at the thought. "That little son of a bitch!" he snarled.

"He didn't touch her while they were alone, though. Not that he could, he had turned into a giant white wolf. It's supposedly the wolf-god that protected the Shinju tree, or so Kiba said." Sasuke explained. "But I pushed Kakashi around a bit, and he admitted the kids have been putting up with this koishii thing for the last year."

"What did you do to him?" Naruto growled, angry at himself for not heeding the warning signs he felt the last time they had sparred with their children's team.

"Hn. Considering that the kid didn't do anything else and that Ishoo-chan had just thrown him over a bridge into the lake, and also that he did show proper etiquette to me, dog etiquette, mind you, but he's an Inuzuka, what else we could expect… I just scared him off a bit. I don't want him around the kids outside missions until he comes and asks us to date them or something, though. It's not proper." Sasuke sighed and stepped out of the shower, grabbing for his towel.

Naruto was still livid. And confused as hell. "Giant white wolf? Wolf-god? Dog etiquette?"

Sasuke finished getting dressed and pecked him on the lips. "Be waiting inside. Don't take long, dinner is probably ready." He left Naruto wondering by himself.

The kids hastily got up from the table when Naruto came in from his shower.

"_Don't_ even _think_ about it", he growled at their guilty faces, motioning for them to sit back down. Sasuke was calmly sipping tea at the other side of the table, and poured Naruto some as he sat down next to him.

"Now," Naruto said in a dangerous tone, "I want to know every single thing about this Inuzuka Ashi business. And don't give me the short version either; we can all stay up late, I've got the day off tomorrow."

"Heh, um, you won't need both, so I think I'll go wash our plates…" Ishoo said, trying to slip off her chair again.

"Oh, no, you don't, miss; you stay right there where I can see you blush, ttebayo." Naruto warned.

"That is not fair, you know, what with all the bruising on your face and Chichi having practiced not blushing since he was born", Amachi complained.

"Do you want me to tell Tsume-san about you kicking her grandson's balls?" Naruto threatened. Both teens shook their heads, fear evident in their faces, but successfully hiding the fact that the kick guess was wrong, and the reality was way more compromising. "Good. Spill it."

So they did, in the confusing way that only their fathers, Kakashi and Ashi understood: one talking, then the other, sometimes both together or one beginning and the other finishing the sentence. In the end, it amounted to a single discourse, more or less, which went somewhat like this:

"Er. Ashi-baka is infatuated with me"

"Both of me"

"Cause he knows how it works"

"And then he started having these delusions that since I'm a male and a female, then we are a pack"

"And that he's the alpha male, talk about delusions of grandeur" two young sets of eyes, one black and the other green and brown, rolled in contempt.

"And then he started calling me koishii"

"I've tried reasoning…"

"Pleading…"

"Threatening…"

"Blackmail…"

"And beating him up, but after twelve months it was just waaaaay too much trouble and trying to make him stop was interfering with our training"

"And our missions"

"Kakashi-sensei ended up ordering me to ignore his crap"

"At least he doesn't actively beat up the fangirls, though he growls. They think it's just because of nee-chan and that he's growling at some invisible boy or something, bless their empty heads"

"And keep them empty, 'cause I very much appreciate using the female section at the onsen"

The twins grinned ear-to-ear, making their parents scoff and facepalm, respectively.

"And then there's this whole maturing of this body I've been going through, and it hurts like hell, no wonder Tsunade baa-chan has such a foul temper, growing tits is a pain, _literally_"

"Not to mention the whole hips thing, did you know these things are opening up? Seriously, the bones are moving away from each other, it hurts"

"And then the night that the blood came I woke up feeling this _ginormous_ pain in my belly, and I was stuck and couldn't wake aniki, and the blood spilled and hurt aniki, and I got out of the house cause I couldn't think and didn't want to hurt even more, one body hurting that much is enough, thanks"

"And Ashi-baka was at the gate and I held him and the land, the place where Chichi found us, just _pulled_ us"

"And then Ashi-baka sat me down against that rock I was, and I wanted to thank him, and I touched his face, and then he kinda turned into that wolf, sort of like you said you'd turn into Kurama back in the war, but not like chakra. It was like… nah; you definitely _don't_ want to know what _that_ was like. It was seriously _gross_, and that's _me_ talking."

Naruto looked at Sasuke for confirmation, and Sasuke nodded, his arms crossed over his chest. "The wolf is flesh and blood, not solid chakra. Its power is very intense too, but it's a different…"

"Taste" the twins explained. "Like the power from the blood."

Sasuke nodded again. "Though the blood is that concentrated to the umpteenth power. And it disrupts chakra. Some ninja tried to reach them with ninjutsu and blew himself, or herself, to pieces. Sorry for the lack of clarity, there wasn't enough left intact to identify the body."

"And that's what happened." the teens finished.

"Do you love him?" Naruto asked.

Both twins scratched the back of their respective heads, wincing.

"Um"

"Er"

"I think this question is too difficult to be answered at this moment in time."

Naruto deadpanned. "Let me make it easier on you: would you kiss him?"

Sasuke's eyebrow went up.

They both watched attentively as Ishoo blushed all across her face, including her nose. She had always been a champion blusher.

Naruto squinted and focused on her. "Has he kissed you?"

Her blush spread up to her hairline. "I can defend myself, you know."

"Really" Sasuke asked mockingly. "You've spent a year trying to make him stop calling you his beloved and he not only continued but did it in front of me. Nice defense skills." He deadpanned.

"Don't you look at me like I was gonna get pregnant tomorrow or something, fine, I have to beat the shit out of him, but I do and he's never hurt me. Not that he could, that I'd lose control, or that I could get pregnant anyway" They said.

"How do you know?" Naruto asked, looking at Sasuke and realizing neither of them had been informed of that.

They sighed. "Sakura-chan said when she tested my ovarian tissue that there are key reproductive structures missing. I can simulate ovulation and moon cycles, but what my body produces isn't an egg, it's basically a catalyst to some sort of reaction and that is what probably makes all that blood. I think it's a reaction from the body for having lived this long anyway; it's trying to do the job it was made for. Sorry." Both faces looked dejected.

"On the other hand, I have absolute control of the energy required to get it up, so it's not like he can get into my male parts without my express consent" Amachi said.

"We didn't raise you to give us grandkids, there's nothing to be sorry about. I won't let him hurt your feelings, even if he can't force you to do anything, and I will definitely not accept him to be disrespectful. He's banned from this house until he officially comes to discuss this matter with me, and I'm holding him off your team until that, too." Naruto looked at both twins, and nodded angrily before he left the table.

* * *

><p>Konohamaru hated night shifts.<p>

_'__Join Anbu, they said. Being Naruto's personal guard will be fun, they said. It'll help for when you become Hokage, they said'_, he thought, they being his old teacher Ebisu and his ex-team mates Udon and Moegi.

At least, he mused, he wasn't the one on duty the day Ishoo had disappeared. Poor Moegi had been chewed out for hours by that psychopath Sai, like Sai himself would be able to notice the damn girl leaving the house, bleeding or not.

It didn't help that Moegi had been so terrorized of the man that she had shown up for guard duty that night with a cold, too. It couldn't be helped; Sai thought people getting sick was a personal offense to him, so people usually didn't bother taking sick leaves unless they were about to drop dead.

Naruto had quite understood afterwards when Konohamaru had complained, and stopped Moegi's demotion, but it was the principle of the thing.

It wasn't that Naruto's kids were bad, either, but Konohamaru had been the star ninja of his generation, and then when the kids started at the Academy, the village went crazy about them. It had died down somewhat since they graduated in record time, and the R&R teams, of which theirs was the first, were more often out of the village than not; there was also the fact that the subsequent genin teams to come out of the Academy had also been full of amazing, spetacular ninja, but none of that helped Konohamaru not feel somewhat betrayed.

After all, he was the Sandaime's grandson, and Naruto was like his older brother. He had, perhaps futilely, expected to be put in a better position than he was at Anbu. Not that he wanted to be treated special, but he thought he'd be at least sent to important missions, or, when he was scheduled to be part of Naruto's guard, he'd be able to sit and discuss important matters with him, to be prepared as he himself had been by Tsunade to be the next Hokage.

He had never expected to be ignored by his friend at work.

Sai had briefed all of the personnel selected to be Naruto's personal guard in advance and pointed out that the family would not interact with them except when absolutely necessary while on guard duty.

Naruto was as friendly as ever to him when they met while both were off-duty, but with the heated political issues in the west countries and Sai's insistence that Anbu personnel take advanced courses in technological detection and surveillance, which extended work hours, and his friend having a family of his own, those times were rare at best, and always short.

And Konohamaru had never really wanted to date anyone after Moegi had fallen in love with Udon, of all people, instead of him. Calm, reliable, _boring_ old Udon, who had decided to become an Academy teacher after becoming Chuunin.

So it was obvious that Konohamaru was already not a happy camper when Sasuke opened the front door and gave him an urgent message for Sai, at three in the morning, saying that Naruto had requested him to deliver it.

His mood didn't improve when a thoroughly pissed-off, half-naked, interestingly bruised Sai answered the door.

"What?" Sai said in a murderous tone.

Konohamaru silently handed him the scroll and turned around with his back to the wall beside the door to wait for his response. It was obvious that Sai was having one of his "sexy parties", and since that episode with the upside-down donkey and the Ping-Pong balls it was customary for all messengers to wait outside in that manner for his response.

Ten minutes later, Sai met him outside in full uniform.

"You are to follow Inuzuka Ashi at all times, starting from now until further orders. This mission is classified. You are to detain the subject, preferably alive, if he tries to approach the Hokage's home when the Hokage isn't there, if he tries to approach the house unannounced, or if he tries to contact the Uchiha-Uzumaki children anywhere else. Understood?"

Konohamaru's jaw almost hit the floor. "Yes, sir", he muttered in his outrage.

Sai inwardly sighed when he heard the tone in his subordinate's voice. "I'll be replacing you on your previous post tonight. Move."


	11. Chapter 11

Kiba opened the door to his apartment.

"I'm hooome!" he greeted drunkenly, not expecting anyone to answer.

"Me too, but we can't celebrate tonight", Hinata said, coming out from behind the door and rubbing at her nose where the door hit it.

Kiba jumped up so high he almost hit the ceiling.

"Huh, Hinata? What the fuck?"

He and Hinata had always been friends, but only otherwise interested in one another in the last three years. It had started slowly, but grew surely. Both of them had dated other people before, their awkwardness was a thing of the past and their previous experiences had helped them grow emotionally.

They had been living together for the last two years, one year after Hinata had gone back to her ninja duties, both successfully dodging any marriage inquiries from their respective clans, for neither of them would allow anyone to push them into things they weren't ready for.

"I came back from my mission early, but your grandmother sent for you a few hours ago, some kind of emergency, it seems", she said as he kissed her nose as an apology.

Kiba groaned. "I swear to all gods, if it's got anything to do with Ashi again, I am feeding Akamaru that kid's balls".

The giant dog whined in protest from his large bedding in a corner of the living room, and Hinata laughed before pushing Kiba out of the door.

"Go fix your clan issues, dog-boy."

* * *

><p>Naruto read scroll over scroll in the library, trying to understand the Inuzuka history and mythology. The clan was at least five thousand years old, according to historians, and its origins were misty to anyone outside it. There was no mention of wolf-gods anywhere except on the old story about the Inuzukas being the first people to domesticate dogs.<p>

He raised his head as Sasuke opened the library door.

"I'm working, teme."

"Don't care, can't sleep. Come to bed" the aforementioned grumbled. Naruto sighed, grabbed a tiny reading light and the scroll he was perusing, and followed the man.

One hour of nagging later, Naruto turned off the light and pushed the scroll away from the bed, before spooning Sasuke.

"I swear, one of these days I'm going to film you in bed and ruin your reputation by letting everyone and their mom know you can't sleep without cuddling", he muttered.

"Shut up and hold me right, usuratonkachi." Sasuke mumbled back, pulling Naruto's hand to slip his arm under his own.

Naruto shook with silent laughter until Sasuke kicked back at his legs.

* * *

><p>"We called you in because you're the highest ranked male in the family and this is male business." Hana told Kiba. "Besides, you're Naruto's friend since you were kids; you're better equipped to deal with morons than I am." She turned and left the room.<p>

Kiba gaped at his mother. "Why does it have to be me? Aren't you going to do something?"

Tsume raised her eyebrow and glared at him. "I just did. You are to make sure he does not approach his team before he's officially presented as suitor in the Hokage and his mate's presence, and you will be the clan representative. You have three days to prepare and get Ashi ready to be presented. Don't shame your clan, Alpha."

Kiba winced at the title, and picked up the large box of scrolls, heading to his old room to prepare himself for the daunting task.

* * *

><p>The twins found Sai making coffee in the kitchen the next morning.<p>

"Ohayo" they said, Ishoo opening a cabinet and pushing a mug to Sai before beginning to set the table, while Amachi pulled some bread out of the freezer and turned on the oven.

"You don't look so good" Sai commented after filling his mug and moving to the table.

"Don't act like you don't know why" Ishoo said, looking at him while she went back to the open kitchen. The girl turned back and gave him a double take. "You got a large hickey on the middle of your forehead, what did you do this time, molest a plunger?"

"Aren't you kind of young to wonder about adult activities?" Sai said, trying to cover his forehead with his hair.

"Kakashi is our sensei, we know all about your sexy parties" Amachi commented nonchalantly.

"He talks in his sleep during the missions after he goes to one of them" Ishoo told him, as she put orange juice and milk on the table. "Last time he screamed one night for somebody to take the screw out of his dick; we had to tell the rescued and the medic we took with us that he had been tortured in a previous mission and was going through post-traumatic stress."

Sai had the decency to blush. "Ok, what do you want to keep that information private?" he asked.

The twins looked coldly at him. "We want you to talk to Ashi-baka today. Get him updated with this situation and tell him to stop his family from doing anything stupid like offering him to our fathers as our suitor. We are not ready to commit to anything, but we don't want him or his clan to lose face, either. And get into his head that nobody can know what exactly happened when we were away, we don't want that info to spread."

"Me and Shikamaru have taken care of that among the villagers, for all official effects your team went on a two week recon mission with Sasuke and Kiba as backup. All the personnel that were involved in your issue are trustworthy and sworn to silence." Sai said.

"Good. Kakashi won't say anything either. That leaves the Inuzukas. We think Ashi and Kiba only talked about what happened to Tsume-san and Hana-san, but we need them to not let anyone else know, and without knowing why." Amachi said.

Sai looked thoughtfully at them. "You think they might become targets," he said. "To other ninja villages and S-ranked missing nin?"

"To Swamp; ninja are irrelevant to our particular problem." Amachi said. "We know they won't attack us directly, but the fewer people that can be used as targets against Ashi, the better; he's the only one that can actually protect us when our... issue happens, and he is definitely the weakest link at the moment because his family is big."

Sai nodded. "I take it that you'd want all this to be just between us, too."

"Let's just say we love Papa too much to have him freak out and pull an Itachi, so we'd like him and Tou-chan not to be so worried that they might start connecting the dots." Ishoo said, and suddenly reached for Sai's face, touching his forehead. "There, hickey's gone."

"Thanks" Sai said, finishing his coffee. "You have a deal."

Less than fifteen minutes later, the twins watched Sai leave quickly as Konohamaru's replacement arrived.

* * *

><p>Sai wasn't surprised to see Ashi call for Kiba. The Inuzuka clan was a matriarchy, and so the male hierarchy was skewed compared to the other clans, but since Kiba's and Ashi's fathers had died in the fourth war, Kiba, being the closest related male to his mother, had been granted the title of Alpha male. It wasn't near as important a title as Matriarch, but since Inuzuka females couldn't be bothered with male issues, the burden fell on him.<p>

Sai had made sure to swerve through Konohamaru's vigilance into the compound, and was currently sitting on Ashi's bedroom. He had spent the best part of an hour explaining the situation to both Inuzukas, and now gratefully accepted a cup of tea from Kiba.

"Damn, Mom is going to have a fit" Kiba said. "She expects us to make a formal presentation of Ashi as a suitor to the Uchiha-Uzumakis".

"Yes, but you know neither Naruto nor Sasuke will force the kids to anything." Sai retorted.

Ashi was quietly looking out of the window, deep in thought. Both older men watched him as they drank their tea.

"Did they say what they are going to do about this issue regarding the Rokudaime and Sasuke-sama?" The boy asked, after a long time.

"No, and it's best you don't know. I do think, however, that Naruto will keep you tailed within the village, at least for a while. He and Sasuke aren't going to cut you any slack, kid, they love those kids to death." Sai explained.

"So do I" Ashi said in a low voice. He knew why his koishii was doing this. They were subtly telling him that they reciprocated his feelings on at least some level, but they clearly put duty before their feelings. And that duty, in the end, would lead to their death. He knew it in his bones, as much as they did, now. They wanted to spare him; they obviously either didn't understand how entwined his fate was with theirs, or thought he hadn't willingly chosen it.

Sometimes it pissed him off that the person he knew who most treasured freedom of will could disregard other people's ability to choose for themselves.

Ashi was young, but he wasn't stupid. He was completely aware of the implications of what his koishii was. He knew that by choosing to protect them, to love them, he was turning his back on a normal life, on the prospect of building a family of his own, of having a life-long relationship. He knew, ever since before the Ookami had come forward, that his koishii traveled the world lightly. Their sense of duty was one of the things that had drawn his love to them, and made accepting his role as vessel to the Ookami easy.

Sai watched the musing boy, and read the thoughts passing on his expression.

"Ashi-kun, I think you're overthinking things a bit" He said. "I can see that you love them very much, but you're young. You are, and they are. Have you considered they might want to experiment a bit before settling down?"

Ashi turned and glared at the Anbu commander. "Are you suggesting they're rejecting me because they want to fool around?"

Kiba sighed. "Um, yeah, that crossed my mind too, man."

Ashi turned a hurt look to his uncle.

"Why?"

Kiba and Sai shared a knowing look.

"Dude, not everyone is ready to fall headfirst into a committed relationship. Remember me and Hinata, damn, both of us knew we felt something for each other, but we wanted to go around the block a few times first, see what the game was like, before we started dating, 'cause we realized that being in love is a huge responsibility" Kiba interrupted Ashi's protest before he could say anything "and we weren't ready for it."

Sai nodded. "Not everyone who has cold feet is unfeeling, Ashi-kun. People just mature at different times. I know I'm not ready to commit, I don't want to hurt anyone, so I prefer to be honest with people, instead of screwing up and making a fool of myself or somebody else I might have feelings for."

"And please don't give Naruto and Sasuke as an example of soulmates, 'cause even though Naruto spent all that time after Sasuke, even he took a long time to figure himself out. Sasuke is even worse an example, dude tried to kill Naruto how many times again? Three?" Kiba looked at Sai for confirmation.

Sai nodded. "And Naruto only dropped the "but he's like my brother" bullshit after Sasuke took advantage of the fact he was out like a light to declare they were married to Naruto's dad. Give them time."


	12. Chapter 12

It was a whole week later.

Naruto was doing paperwork in his bedroom desk when Sasuke came in with a cup of tea for him.

The couple stopped to watch their daughter training on a trampoline in the garden, through the open shoji.

"My eyes feel weird." Sasuke commented, taking a seat beside him.

Naruto looked at him with a worried face.

"Don't worry, I can see just fine. Better, actually. Things are clearer, even when I'm not using any ability. It's just weird. Probably a side effect from Water." Sasuke said.

"Hmph." Naruto put a hand on his thigh, and drank his tea, watching his daughter somersault while dodging the kunai and shuriken her brother threw at her while running around, her eyes firmly shut.

"Wonder when Kakashi decided to teach this kind of cool shit, I don't remember that being part of our training" he mused.

Sasuke chuckled. "Yeah, like you'd be able to do that, usuratonkachi. Or Sakura."

"What? All you need is to have a decent ear, teme."

"Take a closer look, dobe, she's got music on. Can't hear a thing."

Naruto squinted, and saw the tiny earplugs. "I could totally do that, all I need is to have a clone somewhere to see for me. Now explain to me again where they are going to find such a scenario when infiltrating for a rescue and retrieval mission."

"Earthquakes, tsunami, fires, floods, storms, deep caves, indoor or flimsy bridge skirmishes" Sasuke counted, "urban riots, battlefields, jumping from high altitudes"

"Eh?" Naruto raised his eyebrows.

"Yup, she threw herself against a target off a cliff a year ago, after they cornered the kidnappers, to prevent them from killing it. She landed on top of the target a couple of hundred feet below. The Akimichi girl has done it before too, except she inflates after swallowing her targets, so they can bounce safely down." Sasuke explained, tousling the hair on Naruto's neck.

"Sheesh, how the hell are people going to come up with a Chuunin exam challenging enough for those kids? Can't use the Forbidden Forest anymore, Iruka is using it for school trips."

Sasuke chuckled. "Makes you feel old, doesn't it?"

"I'm still younger than you, you know." Naruto snickered. Sasuke pulled on his hair. "Ow! What are you, four?"

"Make up your mind, dumbass" Sasuke let his hand wander down his back.

Naruto grumbled, and watched as the kids traded places. Ishoo threw her armor on, while Amachi checked his weapons and took a few breaths, before beginning his routine, which consisted on shooting weapons at her while somersaulting with his eyes closed. Naruto sighed when Sasuke's hand went up the back of his shirt. "Didn't you have to go back to work after lunch?"

Sasuke pulled up a small gadget from his pocket. "Wireless communication made easy, they can call me, like on a radio, or send me text messages on it. It's a prototype based on Sango technology, so I decided to test it from home, maybe spar with the kids too. According to the people funding the project, if all the nations agree on it, we'll be able to communicate in real time with anyone, anywhere, from anywhere, in ten years, even across continents. Pigeons will be a thing of the past."

Naruto grabbed it and stared at it like it was the Holy Grail. "Holy shit" he said in awe.

"It's going to be used in civilian communication too." Sasuke said with a smug grin.

Naruto stared contemplatively at it for a long moment. "If we had this in the fourth war, so many lives could have been saved."

Sasuke nodded. "If today's test works well, you'll get yours in a week." He said. "As of right now, its range will be the entire Konoha to the University, but in three months we'll have a grid covering from here to Suna, including the Capital Cities of Fire and Wind."

"Wait, but that means the hidden villages won't be exactly hidden anymore, right?" Naruto asked.

"Like we have ever been any good at hiding in the first place, what with selling our services and such." Sasuke answered with a smirk. "Our people in Osun said that easy communication like this has a few side-effects; because civilians become more aware of government affairs, they tend to question authority more often, and there's need for different encoding to keep military communications secret, and apparently people make a hobby of trying to crack military codes. But then, the benefits outweigh the risks."

"Man, whatever makes civilian life better is fine by me. Maybe they'll start picking their own weeds and chasing after their own cats for a change, dattebayo" Naruto mumbled, stretching his back and wincing when it gave a loud pop.

Sasuke got up and closed the shoji. "Don't let the genin hear you, it's not much but it's still money." He walked back and poked at the Hokage's forehead. "Get up; I'll fix your back for you."

Naruto made a face, but got up anyway. Sasuke moved to an empty area of the bedroom and gave his back to him, motioning with his hands. Naruto stood back to back with him, locked their arms together, and Sasuke bent over.

"Ooooohhhh" Naruto moaned as his back was stretched with the motion. "I should let clones do this kinda paperwork more often, too bad Shika won't let me" he said.

"If you read quickly enough you wouldn't need clones to do it, usuratonkachi." Sasuke straightened up and turned around to remove Naruto's shirt. "Now lie down so I can finish".

"Easy for you to say, you got the Sharingan anyway, don't even have to pay attention to what you're reading" Naruto complained, stretching belly-down on the futon.

"Don't you use my Sharingan as an excuse to your laziness, dobe, Shikamaru doesn't have it and I don't see him complaining. He does almost all your paperwork anyway." Sasuke grabbed a towel and a soothing ointment from the closet and knelt down beside Naruto.

"Yeah, but he's a genius." Naruto let out a grunt as he felt oiled hands on the small of his back.

"He's got organization skills, something neither you nor Tsunade seem to be able to learn." Sasuke said with a humorous voice, remembering the Council meeting where he had been anointed as a member. Tsunade had waltzed in with a weary Shizune right behind her, carrying a large stack of paperwork for her to work on during the meeting. The assistant had told him later that it was backlog from when Tsunade was still Hokage, old orders that required her chakra signature to be archived.

"Mmmm right there" Naruto moaned when Sasuke's hands reached his upper back. Even though the Hokage still had the bijuu healing capacities, his back hurt from being hunched over the desk after hours of work, and that kind of pain made him cranky, unlike training or fighting lesions. And cranky Naruto was a bigger pain in the ass than cranky Sasuke, especially for the latter, so he'd gladly humor the man with a backrub. Not that he was worried about his mate's well-being, or that he'd enjoy it himself, of course, but just to skip the aggravation. The fact that he was getting a boner at the moment also had nothing to do with it, of course.

"Lower, please" Naruto whispered.

Sasuke smirked and started to work his way back down his spine.

"Hmm… lower"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, but complied.

Naruto raised his butt and wiggled it. "Lower?" he asked.

Sasuke sighed and slapped the wiggling cheeks. "Don't ruin the mood, Captain Obvious."

"What? You love my butt." Naruto snickered, wiggling his ass even higher.

Sasuke deadpanned for a second, and then tackled him.

"Aaahhh! No, no, no fair! Ahahahahaha lemme go, you bastard!" Naruto yelled when Sasuke began relentlessly tickling him.

"You asked for it" Sasuke said in a deep voice, and grunted when Naruto hit him with his ankle. He grabbed the foot and started tickling it.

Naruto guffawed, tears running down his cheeks.

"Ready to concede defeat?" Sasuke whispered in his ear, while reaching for his armpits.

"Nooooooooooo!" Naruto giggled, bucking and trashing around until he actually got to trap Sasuke's torso between his legs. "Ha!" he yelled, flinging him away.

"Hn" Sasuke got up and narrowed his eyes, smirking. Naruto stood up and got into the horse stance, panting.

They were interrupted by a knock on the bedroom door.

"I'm finished, go fool around in the dojo before you break something again" Amachi called from the hallway.

Naruto jumped and went out the shoji, squealing giddily as Sasuke ran after him, quickly checking on the device while running.

"And I'm supposed to be the kid, seriously" the boy said, shaking his head.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It took Naruto over fifteen minutes of running and wrestling, but eventually he got Sasuke pinned down without resorting to ninjutsu or clones. He refused to acknowledge that Sasuke had been distracted by checking on his communications device twice as the reason why he managed it.

"Ha! Who's your daddy now, heh?" He growled.

"You do know that the only reason I'm not head-butting you is because your skull is thicker than mine, don't you." Sasuke replied with a serious look.

"Meeehhh" Naruto showed him his tongue, and Sasuke whipped his head up, catching it between his teeth.

"Eeve uh, o'e"

Naruto slipped a hand between them while keeping his wrists in the other, grabbed Sasuke's crotch, and winked.

"Ow ee hath a thanth oth"

Sasuke pressed his teeth down a little.

"You woulnth."

Naruto squeezed a warning.

Both men squinted at each other.

Sasuke sucked the tongue in his mouth.

"Eeve uh, eme, I 'on" Naruto snarled.

* * *

><p>Ishoo walked around the village, carefully avoiding people's personal spaces so she would remain undetected. She watched the people interacting with a detached expression.<p>

She turned into an alley, and a cat brushed her leg. She followed it to the Uchiha garden, and sat under one of the willow trees.

Ashi dropped the henge and sat beside her.

"Hey." He greeted.

"Hey. How's Konohamaru treating you?" She picked at the grass.

Ashi shrugged. "He's sloppy. Sometimes baa-chan calls him up for tea and onigiri and he actually leaves his post for it, can you believe it? Still don't know why we have to go through this, though."

"Because you can't keep your tongue inside your mouth, you moron. What did you think would happen?" She looked at him, frowning.

"None of this trouble if you just agreed to date me." Ashi gave her a lopsided grin.

She sighed and stood up, feeling hot and bothered in the late summer heat. "I don't wanna date anybody, Ashi-baka. You of all people should know I can't waste time with stupid things like that."

"Oh, right. That's why you definitely don't pay the least attention to all those girls throwing their underwear at your face and begging to have your babies, o wait… you actually ogle them." He growled.

"It's just looking, damn it. They're pretty, I look at them. So what?" She growled back.

"That's it, then, isn't it? You only like girls, that's why you don't look at boys, too?"

She rolled her eyes.

"You blithering idiot, whenever I want to look at boys like that, I just look at _you_. But it'll still be just looking, because I can't _be_ with anyone like that. I won't promise something I can't give."

Ashi held her wrist.

"What if I say I want whatever you can give me?"

* * *

><p>The problem with Naruto and Sasuke's stand-offs was that, when faced with a situation like that, keeping your mind clear, cool and focused is the key to win the match.<p>

It's quite hard to keep a clear, cool, focused mind when you have a raging hard-on and your opponent's tactic is sexing you up until you either come, or let them go.

Sasuke pondered about that while Naruto's hand found its way inside his pants. He knew how to kiss Naruto crazy, but sucking tongue wasn't exactly on par with – oh. Yeah, it wasn't.

He closed his eyes to gather his bearings. He couldn't just use anything other than regular taijutsu or other physical abilities, since Naruto hadn't done it first. No way would he cheat and concede to be weaker than the usuratonkachi.

Even though he had a firm grip on the dobe's tongue, he didn't want to actually bite down on it strong enough for the idiot to move, lest he have to actually bite it off and even then the moron might just laugh and bleed on his face while he choked on the severed appendage.

But then, maybe his luck would change if he got creative. And he hadn't lived eight years with the world's most unpredictable ninja without learning a few tricks.

He pushed Naruto's tongue out of his mouth and immediately wrapped his lips on the dobe's nose, blowing in with all he could.

"Agh! No fair, teme!" Naruto let his arms go to bat at his own face, and Sasuke took the opportunity to turn them around.

"I win, usuratonkachi." He smirked, and pecked at Naruto's pouting lip. Naruto pushed his lower lip further, and Sasuke couldn't help but move a hand to flick it, it was that cute.

Big mistake.

Naruto took advantage of the moment of distraction to push him away and backflip into a standing position.

Sasuke got up slowly, and bit the inside of his cheek.

"That's how it's gonna be, then?" He said, sidling to close the shoji, and sealed it shut for good measure.

Naruto braced his feet on the mat, and motioned for him with a lopsided grin.

Sasuke gave him a challenging look, still biting his cheek. The communications device rang, he answered and gave the code words, quickly, and put it back on his pocked. He then tilted his head, and started to strip, looking straight at Naruto.

Naruto's eyes went wide. This was definitely a new strategy. He watched as Sasuke removed piece by piece, slowly, looking at him with the same challenging look. He looked down and saw that the blush he felt had spread down to his chest. It shouldn't, what with eight years of marriage, but Naruto had never really overcome how Sasuke's looks affected him. He firmly believed he'd still be aroused by his body even when they were old, wrinkled, toothless and maybe bald.

He chuckled at the thought of them traumatizing caretakers by being caught having geriatric sex, but was interrupted by a soft moan. He raised his eyes and felt a vein pop inside his nose.

Damned bastard was jerking off right in front of him. And doing a great job of it, too. Naruto couldn't even remember his own name right now, let alone that they were… what were they doing again? Fighting? Arguing? His brain was currently out of order as what seemed to be all of his blood supply moved south and made his cock feel like it would explode without even being touched.

His knees gave out and he fell on them, his glazed eyes fixed on the man before him, his mouth open and drooling.

Sasuke let a smile form as he saw the hungry, wide-eyed look on Naruto's face. He approached the kneeling Hokage slowly, and stopped just out of reach from his mouth.

"You want this?" He said, caressing the underside of his cock. Naruto nodded enthusiastically.

"Accept defeat, then."

"…"

"…"

"I hate you, bastard."

"Really." Sasuke took one step closer.

"Yes, really, you and your… delicious…" Naruto lost his voice as he saw the bead of liquid on the cock head right in front of him. Life was _so_ unfair. He licked his lips.

"You know you can't win." Sasuke purred. He gathered the bead of pre-cum in his index finger, and smeared Naruto's lips with it.

Naruto would very much like to think that yes, he could win, thank you very much, but then he instinctively licked his lips at the same time he heard the unmistakable sound of Sasuke sucking on his own finger. That, along with the view right in front of him, was just too much.

"I yield" he said, and lunged forward, pulling both of Sasuke's legs by the knees.

Sasuke yelped as he fell backwards, but was caught by the waist and laid down on the mat by Naruto, who moved over him in the same motion and latched onto his neck furiously, grinding down on him.

Naruto raised his head after a few minutes of heated frottage, and looked around quickly. He stood up, pulling Sasuke, hoisting him up with both legs around his waist.

Sasuke gave him a funny look.

"Naruto, what the hell are you doing?"

"Lube" Naruto answered curtly, turning around himself a couple of times on the way to the bathroom.

"I have lube on my weapons pouch, you dope."

Naruto stared at him.

"Why the fuck would you have lube on your weapons pouch?"

"Because I'm married to a forgetful imbecile who never replaces the lube bottle in his office when it runs out." Sasuke deadpanned, as Naruto carried him over to where he had dropped his clothing.

"Oh. Yeah, forgot about that. Thanks" Naruto grabbed the lube and pecked his lips, taking him back to the mat and laying him down. He grinned and ran his nose down from Sasuke's forehead to his nose, nuzzled his cheeks amorously, then kissed him deeply again.

Sasuke sighed contentedly as Naruto moved between his legs.

* * *

><p>Ishoo stared at Ashi.<p>

"You don't know what you're saying, dumbass."

He returned her stare.

"Yes I do."

"No you don't."

"Yes I do."

"No, you don't. Let me go."

"Make me."

Something snapped in her.

"Fine!"

She dispersed her body and focused on him.

Ashi lost his breath. He was suddenly lost inside his own body, the tsunami of sensory overflow making it impossible to discern any individual input. He could feel every cell in his body reach out to the energy coursing inside him like a sunflower turns to the sun, every neuron shouting out in overwhelming pleasure.

And, in the midst of all, he felt his koishii nuzzle his soul.

* * *

><p>"Aaammphhhhhh!" Sasuke's scream was cut short by Naruto's hand.<p>

"Shhh"

"Mph mph mmph mmmph!" Sasuke protested.

"Don't blame me, you didn't put up a sound barrier either" Naruto chuckled from behind him, grabbed his waist and quickly turned them around until he was lying on the floor with Sasuke on top of him, without stopping his slow, hard thrusts.

Sasuke shuddered in the new position, Naruto's slams hitting home every time and making him see stars. He let his body hang limp, reveling in the feelings, head lolling back on Naruto's shoulder, held tightly by the strong arm around his hips, completely at the dobe's mercy and loving every second of it.

Naruto kissed Sasuke's ear as the man lay like a rag doll on top of him, purring and mewling against the hand covering his mouth. He moaned quietly, the sensuous movements enhancing his thrill at seeing Sasuke so debauched, his only movements the undulation of his muscles milking Naruto's cock as he thrust.

It had taken years for Sasuke to allow them this specific position, and years after that for him to feel safe enough to relax in it. It was the position they used where both of them were most vulnerable to attack at the same moment, though it was also the most comfortable and one of the most pleasurable for him, and even after so long he only accepted it in their own home. It was the first time they used it out of their own bedroom, after Sasuke had personally checked that their children were safe and asleep in their own beds, the safety wards were up around the property grounds and Naruto had posted clones to guard the house, and the meaning of it wasn't lost to Naruto.

The explicit trust in Naruto's judgment as to their safety made the act that much sweeter.

"Shhhhhh" Naruto took his hand off Sasuke's mouth and caressed his torso as he began quickening the pace of his thrusts and nibbling on his neck.

Sasuke mewled with the firm touches on his chest, his nipples, his thighs, and moaned when Naruto gripped his hips, pounding into him with swift, hard thrusts.

Sasuke turned his head so Naruto could rub his bristly chin on his face, and bit his own hand to stifle a scream.

"Now?" Naruto asked, smiling at Sasuke's muffled cries.

Sasuke shook his head, and grabbed Naruto's hair with his other hand.

"You sure?" Naruto asked, and began to thrust harder.

"S-shut up and go faster, usura-nngh-tonkachi"

Sasuke's eyes rolled back in pleasure when he did.

"Yess… nnnnnggghhhh fuck me raw… Naruto… faster… harder!"

"Shhhhnnnghhh" Naruto groaned, thrusting as fast as he could.

"Don't… don't shu-shush me, dobe… nngh"

Sasuke was a complete mess, groaning and moaning as he was mercilessly ravaged.

"Rather have me… nghhh… stop… teme?" Naruto asked breathlessly.

"Huh? I-I'mma… nghh… I'mma killya if ya stop… oh gods…" Sasuke pulled his legs up. Naruto seized the opportunity to brace his feet in order to raise his own hips and plunder faster.

"That better, huh… bastard?" Naruto knew that he couldn't keep this speed without coming, but couldn't help himself, he'd come soon anyway, when Sasuke started writhing around his cock in passion-filled throes he just couldn't stop anymore.

"Sas-Sasuke… now?" He pleaded after a minute.

Sasuke moved one hand over his, and brought it silently to his cock, smiling at the dobe's strangled, heartfelt cry of thanks, only to start crying out in pleasure right after as said dobe began pumping in time with his hard, quick thrusts.

"Oh gods, yes, yes!" Sasuke yelled without restraint as he came, and Naruto would have rolled his eyes if the sudden clench hadn't pulled forth his own mind-blowing orgasm. He at least had the presence of mind to bite back his own scream, though.

* * *

><p>One soul and one half of another curled around each other like kittens. Ashi sensed the resigned sadness in his koishii. He also finally understood why they didn't want to commit to him. And he accepted it.<p>

'_I'll always love you anyway, though' _he thought.

'_Baka_' his koishii responded, and nuzzled him again, before retreating.

He fell back, asleep before touching the ground, and didn't hit his head only because Ishoo caught him, and laid him under the tree before leaving.


	13. Chapter 13

Konohamaru knew he shouldn't have asked Tsume-san to use her bathroom.

Now here he was, running around the rooftops like an idiot. How the hell could he have lost the damn kid? It had been less than 5 minutes!

He hadn't called in for a search party, this mission was embarrassing enough without Sai – or gods forbid, Naruto – knowing he had let the Inuzuka kid out of his sight.

It took him over two hours to finally find the brat, snoring under a willow tree in the Uchiha Gardens.

* * *

><p>"I'm leaving with Ishoo-chan again by the end of next week" Sasuke told Naruto as they showered.<p>

"No way it's been a month already" Naruto complained.

"It will be in less than two weeks, this time I'd rather we prepare for it."

"Who are you taking?"

"Dog-breath, his mutt nephew and Karin. As far as we know, there's been a lot of gossiping about what's going on in Water; I don't want to take any chances."

"Why aren't you taking Kakashi?"

"He's helping out with the Chuunin exams planning. I'm already taking Kiba, the committee needs one of the jounin from the R&R teams to help with the second challenge, or else it'd be too damn easy for those kids."

They were already dry, and Naruto sat on the toilet and pulled Sasuke on his lap, burying his face between the other's shoulder blades.

"I hope it works and Amachi-kun doesn't black out this time." He said in a muffled voice.

"Hn" muttered Sasuke, smirking.

* * *

><p>"Let's go, let's go, LET'S GO ALREADY, I wanna get this shit over with!"<p>

It was hardly sunrise yet, and Sasuke rubbed his eyes while following the seething, scowling girl, with Karin trying really hard to hold her laughter beside him.

"Don't be so upset, Sasuke-kun, it's just PMS" she said, snickering.

"Hn" he grumbled.

The past week had been hard. The twins had been nervous and jittery, and though they tried to get out of their parents' way as much as they could, the very air around them reeked with dreadful anticipation, and it affected both him and Naruto.

The only respite the two men had had been at work and two days where the R&R team went on a quick mission to grab a couple S-rank rogue nin who decided to rob some sensitive shit out of the University and killed a bunch of students and a pregnant teacher in the process. It had earned Ishoo and Amachi their bingo book debut.

The R&R team usually worked in the shadows when hunting for criminals, and their prey had never been able to identify them, so the kids had been renowned basically by their rescue abilities. This time, though, one of the stupid criminals had said something stupid about Naruto and Sasuke in the middle of a busy street of a small village north of the University. It was enough to make the already angry teens go berserk.

They had uncloaked in the village's square, and the lone man had no chance. He tried to divert the twin's attention by taking a child as hostage, and Ishoo just hacked him and the hostage to pieces in front of everyone. Amachi had then grabbed the screaming nin's head and made it watch Ishoo rebuild the child, offering to do the same to him if he led them to the hideout.

That alone had terrified the entire village.

Ishoo actually had rebuilt the idiot that fueled their fury, but she had ripped off his genitals and made him eat them after that. He was the only one who survived the onslaught, and was currently held in a padded room in Konoha's penitentiary.

All the villagers could get out of him when they found the hideout was incoherent screams. The other six men had been turned inside out alive by the girl before Amachi killed them.

That had all happened in one hour. Kakashi and Ashi only found out about it when the twins rejoined them, entirely covered in guts and blood.

The reward for their heads had still to be calculated, but Kakashi bet it would probably be worth a small country, at least.

When they got home, the twins had hugged their fathers in silence for a long time.

The two Inuzukas met them halfway to the gate, with Hinata. She was supposed to have the week off, but had asked to accompany the party. Ishoo had always liked her, and Sasuke wasn't about to scoff at the extra help in this situation.

"So, where are we heading to this time?" Kiba asked, adjusting his backpack. He looked to the side to see the two teens talking quietly with Izumo and Katetsu at the guard post.

The guards left the post with questioning looks, and Ashi jumped behind the counter.

"Um, Sasuke-san, your daughter told us that you wanted to talk to us?" Izumo asked.

Sasuke turned to face the man, and saw his daughter stretch a hand to touch Ashi's face across the counter. The boy dropped behind it, and she turned to face her father, blushing furiously.

He ignored the guards and went to her, but she raised her hand to halt him.

A horrible wailing and crunches sounded behind her, turning into growls after a few moments.

She moved to the side door and opened it for the Ookami, going inside after the enormous beast came out and sat near the door. She rustled inside for a bit and came out again.

"Neither of you has seen anything. Hokage's orders. Understood?" Sasuke told the gaping guards. They nodded hurriedly, but didn't move until Ishoo had finished strapping Ashi's backpack to her front and mounted on the wolf-god.

The huge creature moved next to the party, and the guards quickly retreated to the guard post.

"Kiba-sensei, will you do me a favor?" Ishoo asked, looking down. Kiba came closer respectfully, and nodded.

"Get the baka a long yukata for next time" she completed, still blushing.

Sasuke summoned two birds, and they left, following the lightning-quick wolf.

* * *

><p>The sun was already up when Naruto woke, after noticing the lack of heat by his side.<p>

He jumped up and got out of the bedroom. Curse Sasuke and his x_aireaphobia*_.

"Damn it" he said as he got into the main room. He looked to his side and saw Amachi pulling out something from the oven. "Why didn't you wake me?" he asked dejectedly.

"You want a list?" the boy asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

Naruto pouted.

"Don't start with that, they'll be only a few days away. And I might even stay up this time, if things go right." The boy said with a sad smile.

Naruto went into the kitchen and hugged his son, looking up at him awkwardly afterwards. He was always self-conscious of the boy's height advantage over his parents.

"Sorry. Hey, how about we spar after breakfast? Wanna teach your dad some tricks so he can maybe beat that damn bastard someday?"

Amachi laughed. "I don't know if I should pity you or mock you for trying to win against him, all Chichi has to do is look at you funny and you forget what you were doing" Naruto made a face at him, and he laughed harder, "But hey, it's worth a shot. At least you can make enough clones to make it interesting".

* * *

><p>Naruto winced as he felt the clone being dispelled.<p>

"O crap, Shika caught me" he said.

Amachi chuckled as he fiddled with his ramen. "Told you to just tell him I'd be with you today."

"Che, it's not fair for you to help me out, though." Naruto scratched the back of his head.

"Like I have anything better to do, all the pretty ladies are out on missions today. Anyway, it's not like your work is that hard; your entire backlog is simple stuff you only leave behind because it's boring and you're disorganized"

"Well, what can I say, organization comes from the Uchiha part of the family" Naruto said, huffing at his son.

They were interrupted by a feminine squeal.

"Amachi-kun! I thought you'd be on a mission today!"

Akimichi Hariko hugged the black boy from behind, and Naruto almost choked at the lewd smirk in his son's face.

"Um, excuse-me, Oyaji, I got to take care of this. I'll meet you up at your office in a few, ok?" Amachi gave him a wide smug grin before thanking Teuchi and Ayame, and then left the restaurant with the girl hanging on his arm.

Teuchi laughed at Naruto's embarrassed face. "Now _that_ boy is definitely going places!"

Naruto almost groaned in embarrassment when he looked at the two teenagers. Akimichi Hariko wasn't fat, but she had the highest waist to hip ratio in Konoha, and Amachi didn't make any effort to hide his approving looks at her ass. It didn't help that the girl left her flat abdomen exposed by her clothing, either, though that was a necessity due to her specialty jutsu. Her looks were the cause of many accidents, since people who saw her coming just couldn't help but turn their heads to see her going, either hoping she was or wasn't flat as a board behind – which she wasn't.

Amachi had always made it perfectly clear to everybody that he wasn't interested in anything but flirting with anyone, but, instead of branding him a pervert, a lecher or having any kind of negative reaction, girls simply went crazier about him. Unlike Sasuke's old fangirls, they weren't jealous of each other, and the "ebony god", as they called him, could be seen with as many as ten girls hanging around, catering to his every whim, hugging him, fanning him, and so forth. And he flirted with all of them equally, holding hands, kissing their cheeks and actually paying attention to what they said, which ended up making him the first source of information to be procured by Sai when he had to investigate any villager not on his blackmail list.

Naruto believed the only reason there weren't any boys after his son or his daughter (who craftily pretended to be naïve and aloof so she could ogle at the girls at the onsen) was Ashi's constant murderous glare to anyone around them. The girls didn't care a bit about the Inuzuka's constant presence, much to his chagrin.

Ino and Sakura usually joked that Amachi's popularity was poetic justice to the previous generation of kunoichi, who had had to suffer Sasuke's cold shoulder through all their adolescence.

Naruto, on the other hand, thought that maybe all that genetics talk was crap and somehow something of Jiraya's character had passed on to his kids without his intervention.

He looked up at the clock on the wall and almost choked at the time, pulling out his wallet, paying for lunch and hurriedly thanking Teuchi and Ayame for the meal before running to the office through the roofs.

* * *

><p>"I really hope Sasuke won't lose them, they're moving too damn fast" Kiba mumbled.<p>

"Don't worry, I can sense her from miles away" Karin said behind him.

He almost fell of the bird turning around to face her.

"You can sense her? How the fuck can you do that?" He asked.

"Every female's primal energy shifts to yang** when they're nearing shark week. It´s the same… flavor to Naruto's chakra. I can't sense it as well as I can sense chakra, but Ishoo-chan produces like a million times what Naruto does, it shines out like a beacon", Karin said with a shrug.

"Yeah, but Hinata can't see it" Kiba retorted with a huff.

"She can't see it because her kekkei genkai is a refined seeing apparatus to specifically trace chakra. I can because it's less sensing and more a passive synesthetic response from my body to the energy. It's like you with smell, all you use the chakra for is to enhance the nervous response to them, but your sense is heightened compared to other people even when you're not actively pouring chakra on it. My clan used this response as an aid to develop seals." She explained.

"How about Ashi, can you sense him too?" Kiba asked curiously.

"Sort of. Can't sense his chakra, somehow that wolf-thing conceals it, but it pulls yang energy from her, so I can see her energy feeding it." Karin said.

He nodded. It made sense that the Ookami was connected to the energy output.

A few hours later, both Sasuke and Karin hailed for a stop at the same time, and they landed on a clearing.

"Lunch break, guys, let's get a fire going" Hinata said with a smile.

A few minutes later, Ishoo came out of the wilderness carrying a gutted, skinned deer.

"Somebody get me a spit before I drop dead from starvation" she grumbled. Kiba quickly hacked an oak branch, and soon the scent of cooking meat was wafting through the clearing.

The Ookami came to lay curled around the sitting girl, licking its bloody chops. She petted him absentmindedly while they finished fixing up the food.

"This is so much better than last time, thank you, guys" she said in a small voice, when the food was cooked.

"Heh, don't mention it, kid, it's part of my job as Ashi's Alpha. I just hope some of the hot springs in Water will be clean, that'd actually make this look like a vacation for us." Kiba smiled at her, and Hinata elbowed in the ribs, blushing.

Sasuke kissed his daughter's forehead as he handed her a plate and sat beside her, the Ookami moving to give him room.

"I want to see what kind of herbs are growing there, too. Sakura thinks medicinal herbs might benefit from your energy." Karin commented.

"Have you seen her? Last time I saw her she was at the market with Lee-san" Hinata said with a smile.

Karin laughed. "It's a good thing she trained under Tsunade-sama, that baby's been using her bladder as a punching bag. Good thing Lee is patient, too, every time the baby kicks her too hard she smacks his head, says it's his fault. Goes to show who wears the pants in that family" she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

* Xaireaphobia – fear of saying goodbye. One of a few mental issues that people with post-traumatic stress disorders pick up, especially those that have lost people dear to them. I thought it'd be natural for Sasuke to have it, and indeed, in canon, he not only doesn't say goodbye to people, but nearly all his partings are extremely traumatic.

**Yup, you read it right, yang, not yin. Yin energy is female basal energy, necessary to the reproductive phase. It's converted into yang energy for menstruation to occur, though.


	14. Chapter 14

They reached Water by the end of the day.

"Holy shit" Karin said, her mouth agape as Sasuke's bird flew over the dense forest. She had traded places with Hinata after lunch, because Sasuke didn't want to use his bloodline limit to track Ishoo's progress. By now, Karin didn't have to use any chakra to sense the girl, the energy was so thick. Kiba was probably able to smell her by now, but he hadn't commented on anything.

Water had never been especially lush, even before the war. Now, it was covered in green, the forest so thick they couldn't see the floor.

She raised her head and saw Sasuke's tense figure staring up ahead. She cautiously touched his arm.

"Sasuke… she's going to be fine" she said in a quiet voice.

Sasuke didn't answer her. She didn't know. Hell, he didn't know, couldn't know, the extent of the pain his children had gone through last time; all he remembered were those eyes, all pupil, all bottomless, silent, dark pain, and that had been the least of it; the worst part they had gone through alone.

And now his daughter had decided to shoulder it even more alone, to try to keep her other half awake. So they – he and Naruto – wouldn't worry so much, because they would be safer separate; so if something happened to Ishoo's body, she would be able to just merge with Amachi, and they would survive.

Naruto was inhumanely used to physical pain, so he had quickly agreed to the idea, even though he felt for the twins. But Sasuke hated to see his family hurt too much to go down without a fight.

'_"__Isn't there a way to avoid this?" he had asked Tsunade; the five of them were sitting in their living room, at his request. _

_"__There is medicine to avoid cycles, but with the intensity of Ishoo-chan's energy, I think surgery would be more effective." She had said._

_Ishoo had been sitting between him and Naruto, and she sighed. _

_"__No surgery."_

_She rose and sat on his lap, cradling his face in her hands._

_"__Papa, this body exists for this. It's just doing what it's supposed to." She said to him._

_He had scowled, and looked away._

_"__Tch, look at me, Papa." She had smiled, "This is my duty. I'm happy to do it."_

_"__But the pain" he tried to interrupt._

_"__Hn, the pain goes away, dattebayo. It hurts less than being separate does," and she and Amachi both looked at him "and it doesn't matter. Only freedom matters, remember? This" she put his hand on her tummy, "gives a way for life to flow free. It's a good thing. It's a pain in the whole body, but hey, as far as I know, with all the plants and flowers, we might even get some honey out of it. You can make me pancakes, or something" she gave him a huge grin, and he hugged her._

_"__Wouldn't you rather have dango with all that honey?" He had asked, trying to bury his fear._

_"__Ewwww, no dango. But you can make me kuzumochi even if it's not new year's" she grinned again._

_"__Sasuke's making kuzumochi? Now that's entertainment" Naruto had said, laughing, until three fists hit his head at the same time._'

"We're trying to have a moment here, baka!"'

But even though they had agreed, Sasuke still worried.

* * *

><p>"Ne, son?" Naruto asked after work. They were enjoying a bit of breeze and an aniseed popsicle in the only place the wind really reached in Konoha, the top of Hokage Mountain. They were, as usual, on top of the Yondaime's head.<p>

"Hn?" Amachi answered.

"How is it like?" Naruto scratched the back of his head. "I mean… I know I never asked before, but… what is it like? For you to be…" he motioned his hands apart.

"Broken?"

"Yeah." Naruto had never really thought about it, accepting that it would be more or less like having a permanent clone. However, he had become curious since he learned that it hurt them. It never hurt him when his clones were up.

"Hn." The boy got up and motioned for him to stay sitting. He then moved and sat behind him, back to back.

"You know that nee-chan and me are the same person, right? Like you and a clone" He asked, and Naruto nodded.

"Ok. When we're together in the same body, it's like the way me and you are sitting now. The body is like an open door; one of my minds is always standing at one side of life, and the other at the other side. We're stuck together like this. And when the one in the front needs, the other can look over the shoulder and help out with thinking, or moving, or stuff like that. I can even turn around sometimes, if it's really important or I have permission. I don't do it often because the body gets a bit unstable if I do it, and it doesn't really matter because both minds are me anyway. The one facing the front never sees the back, though, so I don't, you know, eh…"

"Give up on life?" Naruto asked in a serious voice.

"Yeah. 'Cause I get hurt a lot, and most of the times I'm alone on this side; having a good family, like you and Chichi, and people the babalawo is very rare. Sometimes it's just a bit too tempting to let go, 'cause instead of not knowing what's on the other side for real, like ordinary people, I do know, but have to keep pretending I don't, or else I wouldn't be able to stay sane." Amachi picked up a tiny piece of gravel and rolled it on his fingers.

"Anyway, that's what it feels when it's all normal and stuff. This time, though, the gods needed to break me in two."

"Why you?" Naruto asked, and turned around to see his son.

Amachi gave him a smug smirk. "Because I'm fucking awesome, that's why. The babalawo said that the gods told him no other ibeji could survive it, let alone do the job 'cause nee-chan's body is so unstable. It's like you and Chichi with the sage and all the mess from long ago, except I'm even more awesome cause I can do my job alone if I have to, but you two can't do shit without each other."

"Hey!" Naruto elbowed him in the ribs, and started punching his arm. "Can a man have some respect here? I'll tell your mother about this, dattebayo!"

"I said I can do it alone, not that I prefer to, Oyaji, cut it out!" the boy snickered, trying to get away. "Seriously, I'll tell Chichi you said he's my mother" Naruto stopped mid-punch, and huffed.

"So, it was like this, when the gods broke me and nee-chan apart, they broke almost all the way, but it's still one soul. That's what makes it possible for me to get together sometimes when one of the bodies is asleep and safe, and in those times it hurts less. When both bodies are awake, I have to take a step back and stay right on top of the threshold on each body, 'cause the door is still open, but the other me isn't there to keep it open, so to speak, and the door can only be opened from the other side, not this side. It gets worse when the bodies are farther apart, but it's always… cold. On the other hand, it's damn handy, especially when I want to see stuff without people knowing" he wiggled his eyebrows.

Naruto sat still for a while, then turned on his son with a frown.

"Hey! You mentioned me, Sasuke and Monifa. But you didn't mention Ashi." He pointed a finger at the dark boy, who sighed.

"That baka is different. And I can't be going there." Amachi said the last in a warning tone.

Naruto wondered, but didn't ask anymore. It was already dark, anyway, and the next day he had promised to visit Sakura, so they went home.

* * *

><p>Sasuke was on watch when Ishoo jumped up from her sleepbag, and began running back. He jumped off the branch he was currently crouched on and tried to follow, but the Ookami tackled him before he could reach her. All he saw was her take two more steps, and disappear with a loud bang.<p>

"Sasuke!" Kiba and the two girls came upon him a couple of minutes later. The enormous wolf gave them a low warning growl, and didn't move from his position, lying on top of the man on the ground.

"Kiba, get this damn beast off of me!" Sasuke motioned with his only free arm, trying to breathe something that wasn't dirt or fur.

Kiba pleaded with the wolf in all the codes and signs his family knew, with no success. The wolf grumbled something, but didn't budge.

"Ookami says we are to wait here" Kiba translated, and waited for more grumbles from the beast. His eyes widened. "Ishoo-chan will be back in a moment" he finished.

The wolf nuzzled at Sasuke's hair, barked once, and whined.

"He says if you don't do anything stupid, he'll let you go. But you have to stay here; she's too fast for you to do anything." Kiba said.

* * *

><p>Amachi was already waking Naruto up when Sai got to the Hokage's house.<p>

"Get dressed and go with Sai now" the boy said, already going out the shoji to the garden.

"What happened?" Naruto asked while jumping on a pair of pants.

"Sakura's baby" Sai said.

It was pitch black at the gate when they came out of the house, and suddenly the darkness slipped into the ground, under Amachi's bare feet.

"What did you do?" Sai asked.

"Called nee-chan." The boy answered. Naruto and Sai nodded and ran.

* * *

><p>"Tsunade-sama, please do something!" Lee begged, as Sakura screamed in pain, Tsunade's glowing palm deep inside her.<p>

Shizune kindly pulled him away to the hallway.

"Lee-san, the baby is stuck in the birth canal. We're trying everything we can." She said.

"Can't you do anything? Open her belly or something?" He exclaimed in desperation.

Shizune sighed. "We can't push the baby back inside the womb without killing him. Tsunade-sama is trying to push open the birth canal, but she can't put much more chakra into it because Sakura's body or the baby's might rip apart."

Lee fell to his knees in shock.

"Lee… we need to know who to prioritize if it comes to it." She knelt next to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "We have to know who to save."

"What?" Lee felt his stomach churn. He looked at Shizune uncomprehendingly.

"You're their legal representative; you have to choose which one will live, Lee."

Shizune was interrupted by a loud crash, and then Tsunade was flying through the doors of the delivery room, crashing into them.

Lee watched in a trance as the doors swiveled.

The door opened.

His honorary niece appeared, covered in glass and bloody cuts, shoving her arm inside his screaming wife.

The door shut.

More screams. Wet crunching noises.

The door opened.

The girl was now with her back to the door, pushing Sakura up the bed with one hand, and pulling something out with the other, screaming for her to shut up and close her eyes.

The door closed.

He heard a horribly wet, meaty wrenching noise. Blood seeped into the hallway.

The door opened.

Sakura's feet twitched while Ishoo held something deflated in her arms. The something began taking form with strange popping noises.

The door closed.

Lee felt a knot in his throat as he heard a loud, angry newborn scream. His head touched the floor as he sobbed.

"Yeah, yeah, right, I can hear your loud mouth, hold your horses, Hayao" he heard the girl say.

The door opened.

He saw the girl's bare, mangled feet and heard a loud slap, in his dizziness he was unable to lift his head from the floor. "Come on, Sakura-chan, hold your baby a sec while I fix you up" she said.

The door closed.

More wet noises.

"I-Ishoo-chan" he heard his wife's broken whisper in between the baby's cries.

"Be back later", the girl said.

The door opened.

A huge flash of light blinked for a split second.

* * *

><p>Naruto and Sai were running through the hospital gates when the light blinded them, as it turned the night into day.<p>

* * *

><p>Sasuke was trying to stare down the Ookami at their camp, when the light reached them. The three adults blinked blindly, and Ishoo fell on the ground, cussing the sky blue while holding her ankles. The girl had left them less than four minutes ago.<p>

Hinata recovered first, and jumped for the medical bag when she saw the blood covering the girl.

"Godsdamnit I'mma gonna eviscerate the sonofabitching caddywhomping bristlefucking dingleberry that put up that shitty glass in the windows! Who the fuck uses cheap sharding glass in a freaking ninja village's hospital!" Ishoo snarled, as Hinata tried to hold her down. Sasuke blinked his way over and held her up in his lap.

"Keep her down with your hands here and here, Sasuke. Ishoo-chan, keep quiet while I try to get the shards out. Karin, as soon as you can see, come help me here; there's a lot of it on both feet, I'll need you to stitch this foot when I get to the other one" Hinata said, moving Sasuke's hands in position. "Koibito, make yourself useful and heat up some water, please."

Ishoo stopped cursing and started laughing.

"Hahahahaha! Hinata-chan called Kiba-sensei koibito!"

Kiba blushed, and frowned.

"Dammit, Hinata-chan" he mumbled.

"Hey, at least Naruto isn't here, your honor is still half-intact" Karin teased, watching Sasuke's face go almost gray as his sight recovered and he saw her clean up the girl's bloody foot for stitching. "Ne, Sasuke?" she added, trying to distract him.

"What did you do?" Sasuke asked his daughter quietly, looking down at her.

"Sakura-chan's baby wanted to be born early and got stuck inside her; he was almost dead so I had to crash in through the window. It's okay now. Don't worry."

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: As ridiculous, cornier than a soap opera, as it seems, the whole asking the father who to save in a complicated birth, mother or child, issue does still exist in some countries today, and was actually a common practice until something around 30 years ago even in reasonably developed countries. My father actually had to choose when I was born, and he chose my mother (and yet here I am out of sheer stubbornness). The old hag is still alive too; my family has a tradition in producing sturdy women.


	15. Chapter 15

Naruto and Sai were shaking off the orderlies who helped them up the stairs into the hospital, when they turned into the fourth floor hallway and were almost crushed together in a bear hug that raised them off the floor.

It took them a whole minute for them to realize Lee was silent.

"Eh" Naruto let out a breath, "Lee?" he asked in a low whisper, "can't breathe, man". He felt movement, but couldn't see anything, his face pressed against the taller man's broad chest.

After another minute, Lee let them down, and they shook their heads, trying to get some air in their lungs and sense of where they were.

"Naruto… Sai…" they heard a soft feminine voice call. Both men focused on the bed in front of them.

Sakura was almost completely covered in blood, nursing a small baby with a full head of very black hair.

"Sakura-chan" Naruto whispered, wide-eyed. He looked around; Tsunade was sitting on a chair, with a bustling Shizune healing her nose, Lee was already on the other side of the bed, looking adoringly at his wife, and Sai was beside him.

"Ugly… look at that, you made a baby…" Sai whispered, tears running down his face.

Sakura beamed at him.

"He's been in my belly for the last eight months, and _now_ you notice him?" she joked, amused at the three men's awestruck faces.

"His name is Hayao." Lee whispered, and Sakura nodded.

"Fast man?" Naruto laughed softly, still in awe.

"Ishoo-chan called him that, because he came early" Sakura said. "She saved us." She squeezed his hand.

"Amachi-kun said he was calling her when we left the house. Thank goodness." Naruto looked around. "Where is she?"

"She left right afterwards" Tsunade answered him with a nasal voice. "Damn brat barreled right through the window on top of me" she pointed to her face.

"Oh, gods…" Lee paled. "She got her feet hurt… I'm sorry Naruto…"

"Pffft, nothing that can't be fixed" Amachi said, entering the room. "Oi baa-chan, what kind of third-rate establishment are you running here? Somebody get a broom and a pan, please, I wanna give the rugrat a proper welcome." He said, pointing at his bare feet.

Shizune left the room and hurried back with the cleaning staff and a wheelchair to move the patients to their room.

Naruto was surprised to have the little bundle pushed in his arms.

"Come on, take him, Lee is going to help me get in the chair" Sakura said, smiling at him.

She showed him how to cradle the baby, and he picked Hayao up, a little clumsily at first. The baby looked up at him with curious black eyes.

"Hey, Hayao. Welcome to Konoha… I hope you like it here, ttebayo. My name is Naruto, and I'm the Rokudaime Hokage." he said softly as they exited the room.

Hayao stretched an arm out and squeaked as he stopped by his son, and the dark boy let the baby grab his finger.

"Hi" the boy whispered. The baby looked at him and scrunched his (surprisingly) non-exuberant eyebrows. "Yeah, it's me again. Don't mention it; just don't do anything stupid like that again, hasty kid. Welcome to life."

* * *

><p>The day broke with the party running forward.<p>

Ishoo hadn't said anything else about her short absence; Sasuke had sent a Mosquito back to Konoha to send their congratulations to Sakura and Lee, and ask for further news.

The three adults felt lighter, though. The news of Hayao's birth had given them a new perspective about the girl's duty, made it seem more real.

That all changed when they stopped for lunch.

The girl wouldn't eat, and the Ookami fretted around her, raising dust as it paced nervously. They had broken away from the living land a few hours ago.

Karin suddenly felt queasy.

"Is the food off? I feel weird" Hinata said, her hand on her stomach.

Ishoo broke away from the group, walking unsteadily further east. The wolf ran to her, and began furiously digging a few feet forward from where she was.

"It's coming" Kiba said, wetting some rags. Sasuke watched as his daughter stopped and folded down, retching. He grabbed one of the rags and a yukata, and ran to her.

"Oh my gods" Karin murmured, curling up on the floor.

"Koibito, we have to move away" Hinata whispered. "The energy… it hurts". She was sweating.

Kiba gathered her up and carried her. "Tell me where to stop."

They were already half a mile away when she told him to.

"Go get Karin, quick" she said. The redhead was squirming on the ground, moaning in pain.

Sasuke was laying his bleeding daughter, after dressing her with the yukata, on the ditch the Ookami had dug.

"Papa, get Karin out of here…" she moaned. He gave her the wet rag, and ran back, reaching the camp at the same time as Kiba.

"I'll get her, my clothes are already all messed up" the Inuzuka said, picking the redhead up. Sasuke grabbed the supplies and followed him.

* * *

><p>Naruto put down the chopsticks and stared at his son's sudden vacant gaze.<p>

"Amachi-kun?" he asked softly.

"It's starting" the boy said. He stood up and went to the couch. Naruto followed, and sat in a chair in front of him.

"Don't fret, Oyaji, I'm just getting comfortable in case… you know" Amachi said.

"What, I can still pick you up, I'm not that old, ttebayo" Naruto grumbled, trying to keep the boy's attention.

"Yeah, right. Then you'd be banging my head everywhere" the boy said in a weak voice.

"Yup, and then the bastard would be yelling at me for cracking the walls for a month" Naruto chuckled, and snapped his fingers in front of the boy. "Come on, son, stay with me. You can do it."

"It's hot…" Amachi breathed. "Damn baka, stop licking me" he whispered dreamily.

Naruto ran to the kitchen and grabbed a jug of ice-cold water off the refrigerator.

* * *

><p>"Sasuke…" Karin mumbled. "Something's wrong… wake her up, don't let her pass out…" she tried to explain what her body was reacting to, the storm of energy cracking around the girl, her mind trying to cope.<p>

Kiba threw a bottle of water to Sasuke, and he ran back to his daughter.

The Ookami was frantically licking her face.

"Ishoo-chan. Don't sleep. Come on, stay with Papa." He twisted the bottle cap.

She looked past him, a vacant look in her face, her eyes all pupil, her breath ragged.

He upended the bottle on her face.

* * *

><p>Naruto threw the water down his son's head and face.<p>

"HUUURRRPHHHH! HOLY SHIT!" the boy cried out.

* * *

><p>"Better now?" Sasuke asked.<p>

The girl huffed. "Oomph. Yeah. Whew! Thanks. Shit, that was close."

The Ookami came close to her, lapping her face. She waved him away.

Sasuke smirked. "Close, but no cigar. I'll have to thank dog-breath, the water was his idea."

She scowled at him. "I don't want to think how he knew what to do. Better get some water for this mutt, too, his tongue tickles." She looked straight at the wolf's amused face, and blew him a weak raspberry.

The Ookami let out a happy yelp.

* * *

><p>Naruto and Amachi spent the next day in Naruto's office. The Rokudaime wanted to keep his son under his watch, and the boy actually enjoyed doing the paperwork.<p>

Naruto was currently discussing administrative issues with Shikamaru, while the boy was handling the paperwork in a long table.

Shikamaru took furtive glances to the paper, noticing Amachi's method. The dark boy gave a cursory glance to the contents of each sheet, before putting it on one of several separate piles, with a different stamp besides each pile. He had a notebook on his hand, and occasionally would write something on it.

After half an hour, all the piles were neatly organized, and Amachi asked to have access to the main archives. Shikamaru threw him the keys to it without a thought.

The boy left, and came back twenty minutes later, pushing a tall, large cart with three separate shelves, all filled to the brim with files.

By then, both Naruto and Shikamaru had done their own work, and watched as the boy went to work. It was a thing of beauty, even when the twins were apart.

Firstly he quickly processed three piles of documents and their respective files, and placed them in a side bench. Naruto got up and began signing the documents and passing the files to Shikamaru, who quickly checked and affixed the documents to the files, putting them all together in a huge pile.

Secondly he assembled the documents that pertained to relations between files, handing the files and the papers, along with a sheet of notes straight to Shikamaru, who checked the correlations and quickly worked on the course of action with Naruto. Those were placed in a second, smaller pile.

Thirdly he organized the last files in three piles and added some of the documents left to each pile. He tackled one pile at a time, reading each file in a pile and putting them open at a section, side by side, taking notes and leaving them there, along with whatever documents that pertained the file, for Naruto and Shikamaru to go over.

The last pile had eight files and one document. After arranging the files, Amachi stopped and sat.

"That last one is a bit complicated to summarize, so when you're done we can work it." He said, reaching for a jug of iced tea.

"What is it?" Naruto asked.

"Nothing until you finish the other two, so get on with it." Shikamaru scolded, trying to keep Naruto's attention.

Half an hour and a few dispatched orders later, the three of them focused together on the last papers.

Amachi organized the files, reports and other documents. "Ok, this is a funny story. These files are all for retired Anbu operatives" he pointed to four files arranged in a pile, "and these two are Academy teachers" he pointed to a smaller pile right across from the first. "That is the file pertaining to scouting along Wind's borders with Demons from when we went there to rescue Shion" he pointed to a file at the end of the table, "and this last one is spy reports from Ishigakure from the last two years."

"Now, the documents that haven't been filed yet are reports from Suna and Iwa border patrols. Now, this guy" Amachi reached for a file from the retired Anbu pile, "and this guy" he picked one of the teacher files, "have been meeting with, and I quote, 'five refugees from the rescue at Demons that currently live in the Earth Country', at Ishi, every two or three months, for the past two years, according to our spy reports. That's two months _before_ we actually got to Demons for the rescue operation."

The two adults grabbed the documents and compared them to the files.

"Two of the retired Anbu have visited Suna a couple of times last year, and after that, the meetings at Ishi were joined by a woman from Suna. I checked the dates and the border patrol reports, and she's been identified as a teacher." The boy completed.

Shikamaru paled and nodded.

Naruto looked from his son to his advisor in confusion. Amachi sighed.

"Oyaji, remind me of what will happen in three weeks, please?" The boy said.

"Chuunin exams, why?" Naruto asked, with a frown. The other two looked at him quietly, waiting for the shoe to drop.

"Oh crap. Don't tell me. How many teams are coming from Ishi this year?" Naruto put his hand on his face.

"Five teams, plus dignitaries and their Anbu escort. Swamp has applied one team, which will come with a jounin teacher and one escort. No dignitaries." Shikamaru answered. "Should we send for these rats now?"

"Can I suggest something else?" Amachi asked.

"Considering it took you to crack this mess that was just under our nose, I'm all ears." Naruto said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"How about we send a mole into their operation?" the boy suggested.

"Who?" Shikamaru asked.

"Konohamaru has been caught complaining about watching Ashi-baka, and Ashi-baka said he noticed people watching Konohamaru a few times. I suggest him." Amachi said.

Naruto considered it for a moment. "Might work, but it'll look suspicious if people see him meeting up with me, and I'd have to explain the mission to him myself."

Shikamaru smirked. "Not if you're in disguise, and in an inconspicuous setting." He remarked.

Naruto frowned. "Where?"

"Sai's sexy party of the month", Shikamaru said.

"Some guests use henge, and his monthly gatherings drive all his neighbors away, that's a good idea." Amachi said. "Not that I _know_ know about it, I just heard" he amended quickly. "You can make a clone, it goes home like it was you, then you change into Shika, meet him at his place and then you change into someone else, then you can go there without issue."

Naruto listened, nodding, and then froze mid-nod. "Wait a minute, Shika goes to his parties? His _sexy_ parties?" he looked at Shikamaru for confirmation. "And how in hell do you know about that?" he gave his son a stern look.

Shikamaru gave him a laid-back look. "What, me and Temari have an open relationship."

"And I have the best source of Konoha gossip. One of my fangirls is Sai's regular waitress" the boy said with a smug smile. "She's never said anything about what happens in the parties, but she got late bringing me lunch one day, and she said she had to drop something work-related at Shika's. Since I knew she had a waitressing gig the night before, and she looked really tired, I just connected the dots."

Shikamaru laughed. "And then later he chewed me out for making his lunch-bearing wench late. The next party will be next week, by the way, which in my opinion makes our lives a lot easier, since you won't have to deal with Ms. Congeniality."

"Who?" Amachi asked.

"Sasuke" Naruto answered.

"Oh." The boy snickered. "Ooh ho ho." He started laughing.

"You tell him people call him that, I'll disown you" Naruto said with a frown. It didn't last long, though.


	16. Chapter 16

Sasuke sneezed.

Karin handed him a tissue, and sat beside him. They had broken into two teams, Hinata and Kiba gone to the other side of the slowly widening perimeter around Ishoo, inside which the Ookami paced tirelessly around the girl.

He looked at the redhead as she watched, seemly fascinated. It was already dark.

"What do you see?" he asked.

"It's… it's more _feeling_ than seeing, but… her control over the pain… it's amazing" she explained, and shrugged. "Funny how you're always ending up with people like that around you" she said.

"Like what?" he asked.

"Selfless people. First your brother, then Naruto, now your kids." She smiled.

"Are you calling me a masochist, by any chance?" He raised his eyebrow.

"Ha! No, just pointing it out. By the way, why didn't you guys adopt more kids? You're both still young." She asked, trying to turn to a lighter subject. She felt she couldn't very well handle what was happening to his daughter right now. Even being a woman herself, it was too hard to wrap her mind around.

Karin had taken a while to get over her infatuation with Sasuke, but after accidentally seeing Naruto and him making out while returning from a recon mission, a few months after they had been married, she had resigned to the fact that yes, she would never be able to make Sasuke as happy as Naruto did. The adoring look on his face as they made out in the woods and the way he happily mingled his own energy with the blonde's had convinced her to forget her crush and move on. They began sharing a friendship over the years, not too close, but much better than the strange alliance they had when part of Taka.

Sasuke shrugged. "It just didn't cross our minds."

The family had the habit of visiting the two orphanages of the Fire Country, the one in Konoha where Ishoo had been adopted, and the one out of the village where Kabuto had lived in when he was a child, and which he ran now. Orochimaru's former apprentice loved the Uchiha-Uzumaki kids beyond the fact they had rid him of all his abnormalities; they were some of the few people Kabuto could easily talk about science with, and the kids had an insatiable hunger for knowledge.

However, they had never actually thought about adopting more. The years of relative peace had lowered the number of orphans, too. By now, most of Kabuto's wards were teenagers, and more interested in studying at the University than being adopted, and, with the exception of a few who wanted to follow the ninja way, the same happened to Konoha's orphans.

"I feel jealous sometimes. You and Naruto, Sakura and Lee, Kiba and Hinata, damn, even Shikamaru and Temari seem to be stable, as weird as their relationship is" Karin said.

"Hn. I thought you and Suigetsu would end up together."

"What? Hell no, sorry, watersports aren't my thing" Karin replied, laughing.

"You seemed close back then, though."

Karin sighed. "Sasuke, not everybody likes butting heads with their significant others, you know"

"Really? Considering what Naruto told me about his parents I thought it was an Uzumaki trait."

She hit him upside the head.

"You asshole! If things worked like that you'd have ended up with Hinata, from what I'm told Uchihas were all about submissive women!" she laughed again.

"Wouldn't know about that, I don't like women, remember?" Sasuke flashed her a smile.

Karin's eyes shone with mischievous glee.

"About that… did you ever get interested in anyone besides Naruto?" she asked.

"Hn." He was quiet for a long moment. "Juugo. But he was way too unhinged back then, and I was sexually retarded, not to mention emotionally constipated." He said.

Karin fell back laughing so much, Sasuke was glad she couldn't see his blushing face in the dark. Then he remembered she could see it in his energy, and kicked her leg.

"Stop laughing, bitch, it's not that funny."

Karin took a few deep breaths. "Sorry, sorry, it's just that I pictured you and Juugo… not that he's not gorgeous as hell, he is, but I thought about him going berserk while you and him… and… hahahahhahahhaahahahaaha" she guffawed.

"Hn." Sasuke actually snickered at the image. "Anyway, now that I answered your question… how the fuck didn't you spot I liked guys back then? Or at least that I didn't like girls? You can see emotions, for fuck's sake." That was something that had always irked him.

"Oh, I did." Karin said, waving her hand. "I was just really, REALLY stupid, though. I thought I would be able to convince you to like being with me instead. It's a common mental disorder in female teenagers, especially because guys who like guys tend to be seriously hot. It's like a challenge, don't try to understand."

"Don't worry, I won't" he said.

She nudged him. "How about Naruto? I mean… it's Naruto. I guess I can understand you being attracted to sweet, kind guys, I mean, Juugo is sweeter than dango… but when did you decide on Naruto? Sheesh. If you can believe Sai…"

Sasuke scowled. "I'll let you know that Sai is a liar." The dickless nickname had been the reason not only for beating the crap out of Sai when Sasuke had met him, but also a few nightmares Sasuke would be dead before mentioning to anyone. "Anyway, Naruto and I have history. Also…" he knew for a fact he was as red as a tomato now, but what the hell. "Well, it helped to see what he had on his heart at the war. And all those years chasing after me didn't hurt either."

"Hahahahahahahaha, Uchihas and their giant egos!" Karin doubled over with laughter again.

"But the dealbreaker was the Sage, really" Sasuke said, and Karin's eyes shone with curiosity. Just about everyone in Konoha who had survived the war had been curious about this part.

"Go on, I won't tell anyone" she said.

He sighed. "The Sage explained all the reincarnation business, and the whole Kaguya story, but then he asked me what I wanted to do after the war, and… I really had no idea."

Karin nodded her understanding.

"I mean… I knew I had told you guys I wanted to be Hokage, but realistically I knew I could never beat Naruto to it. And the whole idea of sitting behind a desk all day dealing with people? Urgh, no. So I told the Sage that, and he kept asking me what I actually wanted from life besides fighting. You can imagine it took me a long time to get what he was hinting at."

Karin snickered, and nodded again.

"Seriously, the man just kept on drilling me over and over. I told him about rebuilding the clan, and he asked with whom, and then I thought about you, and Sakura, and all the other women I had met, and no offense" Sasuke gave her a look.

"None taken"

"That didn't sit well. Not to mention the whole Uchiha curse, learning that you come from an entire line of psychotic idiots makes spreading your genes look like a really bad idea." He gave her another, more poignant look, and she nodded emphatically.

"I swear that talk went on for hours; I was sure he was going to give up and let me die. And then he started asking about Naruto." He smirked. "He asked why I hadn't killed him, and then asked about my Sharingan; the occasions where it awoke and evolved, and then he made me tell him all that I remembered about how I felt about Naruto, from when we first met to that point where we were. Somehow, in the end it all just clicked, the Sage was grinning at me and he pulled up a mirror – do not ask me why the fuck he had one or where he pulled it out from – and just like that I had a Rinnegan." He pointed at his left eye.

"Wait, I thought the Sage gave you the Rinnegan." She asked.

He shook his head. "It just evolved from the Mangekyou. I know that when the Sharingan awakened I was desperate to protect Naruto, and when it evolved, it was also related to him. And by the time I was with the Sage I had Itachi's eyes, which already had the Mangekyou, so when I decided to drop the bullshit and accept what I actually wanted for myself, not to prove anything to anyone, or to get even, or from a sense of duty, or out of some petty emotional tantrum, I got the Rinnegan. Lame, isn't it? I mean, Naruto said his talk took less than five minutes and then the Sage just gave him all those fancy power-ups." He finished, blushing.

Karin was looking at him in awe. "No… not lame at all, Sasuke. I don't think that's lame at all."

* * *

><p>It was three days later.<p>

Naruto took a deep breath.

Part one of the plan had gone well, no one had noticed that the Hokage that went home that evening was a clone, and the real Naruto was leaving henged as Shikamaru.

He swiftly made his way to the Nara's apartment, trying to keep the bored face as realistic as possible.

He found the door unlocked, and slipped in.

"Sai sent a message to say he's getting Konohamaru now." Shikamaru said from his couch. Naruto slipped off his sandals and nodded. "Eh, have you got anything to drink?" he asked.

Shikamaru pointed to the kitchen. "Help yourself, there's some rice beer. We should be leaving in about twenty minutes."

Naruto grabbed a bottle and went to sit at the other end of the couch. He gave a cautious once-over look at Shikamaru. He could swear he had never seen that much leather and metal studs on one person before, including Nagato's zombies.

"What?" his advisor asked.

"Huh, eh, nothing." Naruto mumbled, gulping a drink from the bottle.

"You're scared, aren't you?" Shika said in his lazy way.

Naruto sputtered a bit. "Yes." He blushed. Terrified, more like it. Naruto had heard only a couple of remarks about Sai's "sexy parties", and those were enough for him to never be able to see a Ping-Pong ball the same way again.

"Troublesome."

* * *

><p>Konohamaru was signing off for the night, wondering what to have for dinner, when his commander slapped his back hard enough for him to fold over the table.<p>

"Just the man I wanted to see!" Sai said with a huge grin on his face.

Konohamaru straightened up and saluted. Sai grabbed his arm and dragged him towards the lockers.

'High-profile S-class mission. Be quiet and play along. You'll be briefed later.' The commander told him in Anbu sign language, pressing his fingers on his arm. He frowned in confusion for a second, but nodded.

"Oh, you'll love it, ahahahaha" Sai bellowed, putting an arm around his shoulder and pulling him out of the room. "Don't worry about it" the commander said in a loud voice and nudged him, smile firmly in place. He gave a nervous laugh, as he was led out of the Anbu headquarters.

His eyes widened as Sai moved his hand to his neck.

'Stop acting so suspicious' Konohamaru felt the Anbu signals on his neck, and forced himself to relax. He had no idea what was going on, but he hoped whatever it was, it would be serious, unlike his previous assignment. Sai gave him another of his trademark smiles and let his neck go.

He followed Sai meekly, the man moving his hand to his arm again as they approached the commander's building.

'Follow casually' the man signed. Konohamaru kept his face still as they entered the building and went up the stairs to Sai's home.

Sai lived in a penthouse apartment on a five-story building at the middle of Konoha's ninja quarters district. It was a huge place for one person, with a tiny entrance hall, an enormous living room, a small but serviceable kitchen, one main bathroom and no less than three separate bedrooms, the main furnished with an added ensuite bathroom.

Konohamaru watched as the commander unsealed the door, and followed inside.

"Shoes off" Sai said, pulling a plastic bag off a pocket and handing it to him. Konohamaru slipped his sandals off and put them in the bag, carrying it with him as he followed to a back room.

Sai opened the door and went in, already sticking his arm out to grab Konohamaru by the collar. Good thing, too, because as soon as Konohamaru stepped into the room he was already bolting for the door.

The room was furnished with a leather-covered couch, a small refrigerator, a couple of benches and a series of what, in Konohamaru's innocent mind, had to be torture implements.

"Calm down, no one is going to do anything to you" Sai said in a patient voice. "You'll be waiting here until you are debriefed, that's all." He dragged the terrified Anbu to the couch and pushed him there.

"Stay here; do not leave no matter what. There is water and juice in the refrigerator, just don't drink from the blue bottle."

Konohamaru nodded, with a deer in the headlights look.

* * *

><p>Naruto jumped up when he heard a window close nearby.<p>

"Stay here a second" Shikamaru told him, and left the living room, coming back a minute later. He put some dark clothing down on the couch and pointing Naruto to the bathroom. "Dress up in these and henge so the clothes will fit. No need to change your face, there's a mask."

Naruto grabbed the clothes – more leather – and went into the bathroom to change, feeling a bit ridiculous.

He felt even _more_ ridiculous changing into a bigger, taller body so the clothes – if you could call a pair of leather shorts that hardly covered his boxers and a chest harness clothes – would fit. The mask actually fit comfortably, and he mentioned it to Shikamaru as he left the bathroom.

"Yeah, that's because the owner is bald and it's a tight fit." Shikamaru commented casually, throwing him a long black cloak and donning one himself. "Don't forget, you have to switch with Konohamaru when you leave. Let's move."

Naruto followed quietly, standing two steps behind Shikamaru's left side, as his advisor had told him. Shikamaru walked straight and alert, completely different from his usual slouch. Naruto privately thought if the man's nose went up any higher, he'd fall backwards. He realized he was unwittingly witnessing one side of his friend that he had never seen, and quickly decided he would not miss it never seeing it again, it was that strange.

They quickly reached Sai's place, and Naruto stood quiet, with his head down as instructed, while Sai greeted them and ushered them in.

Some guests were already inside, talking and drinking. Shikamaru took off his cloak and handed it to Naruto without a look, and the Rokudaime took it without looking up. He then bowed lowly to the present company, as he had been instructed by his advisor before, and was led to the back room.

"I'll be locking you in now, you have two hours." Sai instructed him in a low tone. Naruto nodded, and went in.

* * *

><p>Konohamaru was sitting on one of the benches when the cloaked man came in.<p>

"Konohamaru?" the man said with a muffled voice.

"Who goes there?" He answered with a (hopefully) authoritative voice.

"Whew, this crap is so uncomfortable, wait a sec, can't see shit" the man said, and pulled off his cloak, throwing it and another large cloak on the couch.

Konohamaru screeched like a girl.

"Shush! Dammif…" the man fumbled with his leather mask.

"Don't you fucking come near me you freak!" Konohamaru screamed.

"Shuf fowf mouf, dammif! Ahhhh, shit, much better"

"Na-na-naruto?" Konohamaru's eyes were as wide as saucers.

"Shut your mouth and listen, I don't like being here either, ttebayo" Naruto scowled and sat on the couch, huffing and shaking his head.

Konohamaru snapped. "Naruto what the fuck? First you put me on that stupid _babysitting_ duty on that damn Inuzuka brat, now this? I thought you were my _friend_!"

Naruto looked up at him with a serious face. "_Stupid_. I put **you** in charge of **protecting** my own kids, _the Hokage's son and daughter_, by watching their team mate, who is a – no, _the_ - easiest fucking access for anyone who would target them, and through them, **me**, and you call that assignment _stupid_?"

Konohamaru opened his mouth to retort, but bit it back. He had never even considered that there could be a valid reason for his assignment. He swallowed, and bowed.

"I am sorry, boss. I mean, Hokage-sama."

Naruto kept his face stern, but didn't push Konohamaru further. He understood his reasons to have been mad. They were wrong, and based on jealousy and a feeling of abandonment, but understandable. And after all, they had been damn useful. Konohamaru had quietly showed his discontent in the village, and that was perfect for the Hokage's plan to infiltrate the enemy. He knew that, no matter how pissed-off Konohamaru might be with him, he would never, ever betray his village, but the people involved in whatever the enemy was concocting weren't aware of that.

He proceeded to inform and instruct the Anbu operative. Konohamaru listened in attention.


	17. Chapter 17

Naruto and Konohamaru swapped their clothing and henged appropriately, Naruto into Konohamaru and the other into a bigger body. Naruto didn't even try to hold back the laughter at his muffled curses. His former pupil was livid with embarrassment.

"Why do I have to leave dressed like this again?" Konohamaru asked.

"Extra-safety measures, if anyone tries to touch his "slave" or something" Naruto said vaguely.

They heard three knocks on the door, and Shikamaru opened it. He examined them with a look, and turned to Konohamaru.

"We'll be leaving in a few minutes, but first you go to the living room, and kneel next to where Sai will be standing. Naruto and I will pick you up when it's time to leave. Be quiet, keep your head facing forward and don't even breathe weird, people will be watching you." Shikamaru ushered the Anbu operative out, and turned to Naruto, sighing. This was necessary, but he knew it was definitely going to be a pain.

"Ok. If people realize it's you and not Konohamaru, you not only blow our operation but Sasuke will pull a Madara, so for all things holy do not fuck this up. Ready?"

Naruto took a deep breath and nodded.

Shikamaru pulled him out of the room and they began.

"I dunno…" Naruto said quietly, but loud enough to be heard from the living room, as he sidled through the short hallway.

"You don't know until you try" Shikamaru said in an assertive tone, sidling next to him.

"I-I don't feel very comfortable with this" Naruto said in the same shy, quietly unnerved tone. He remembered the last time he had to act on a mission, and how he failed spectacularly, but pushed the thought aside as Shikamaru suddenly pushed him against the wall, close enough to the living room that they could be partly seen, but far enough so people would think it wasn't on purpose.

"I'll make you comfortable" Shikamaru said in a husky voice, bent his head down and kissed Naruto as soon as the Hokage's eyes pressed shut with the effort not to laugh, slipping his tongue into his mouth in an effort to shut him up.

Naruto trembled all over, holding Shikamaru's shoulders while his advisor kept both hands on his hips. A couple passed by them, smiling lewdly on the way to the back room at the huffed breaths "Konohamaru" made into Shikamaru's mouth.

The real Konohamaru was kneeling and straining his ear, trying to understand what the hell his Hokage was doing without losing his composure or actually seeing up close what else was going on in the room. One glance had been more than enough.

Shikamaru pushed a knee between Naruto's legs after a minute, and pressed his body further against the wall with his own, trying to get the Hokage out of his near-hysterics.

Now, Naruto wasn't a saint. He effectively had been physically attracted to other men, besides Sasuke, throughout his life. Menma had been the first to make him realize he actually enjoyed male company in more than friendly ways, and that realization was key to his eventual understanding that what he felt about Sasuke was beyond friendship. He had found Yahiko very attractive too, before he learned he had been dead and controlled by Nagato (and that had led to some damn disturbing wet dreams). Sai, Juugo and even Kabuto had been physically attractive to him also (though he'd never _ever_ **ever** confess to that). However, he not only was able to control himself, but he also had a very solid, sexually healthy and loving relationship with someone who not only complemented and challenged him in every way possible, but was officially the hottest piece of ass in his age group of the entire continent.

That meant it was easy for him to not get hard with Shikamaru's fake advances. Keeping a straight face, however, was difficult as hell. He just couldn't stop picturing Shikamaru's dick with a bored face, starting to get up and then shrugging back to sleep, mumbling "Nah, too much work".

Naruto knew his control was slipping, the situation was that funny. He heard a sigh on his ear, and Shika's knee made sharp acquaintance with his nuts, effectively startling him back into character.

Naruto pushed Shikamaru away, saying in a weak voice that was only partly acting that he had to go, and hobbled out of the apartment. Shikamaru took a heavy, relieved breath and went to fetch his "slave" so he could take his leave also.

Naruto waited to see Shikamaru leave Sai's building, and followed him in as unobtrusive a manner as to be sure the civilians wouldn't see him, but seasoned ninjas would be able to.

He made his way to the back of Shika's home and went inside by unsealing a window. He made sure to use a paper seal to lock it, to avoid letting his chakra signature be recognized. Then he changed back to his own clothing and went into Shika's kitchen after something to drink.

He was raiding the fridge as Shikamaru and Konohamaru got in.

"Took you long enough" he said, throwing them each a bottle of juice, and grabbing one for himself.

"Ok, now… what were you guys doing back there? I couldn't see you but I damn well heard some noises!" Konohamaru asked indignantly.

"That's part of your cover, you're supposed to have been harassed by me in the party, then come here to discuss, gotten pissed-off at my attitude and left, so the spies will contact you." Shikamaru said, and pointed to a chair in the living room, where Konohamaru's gear was neatly folded.

"How can you be sure they'll want to contact me?" Konohamaru said, getting rid of the mask he was wearing, and dropping the henge to ease out of all the leather and back into his own gear.

"Inuzuka Ashi told Amachi you've been watched around town, and you already complained about me" Naruto said, and laughed at Konohamaru's blanched face. "Chill out, I'm not holding it against you. And gods know I've complained my ass off about my superiors when I was younger and didn't know any better."

Shikamaru sat on the couch and raised an eyebrow while opening his juice. "You still complain about everything, Naruto".

Naruto glared at him. "Hmph, ok, but now I'm the superior, dattebayo. Anyway, they'll contact you for sure now; all you need to do is get out with an angry face. Don't think that'll be too hard." He grinned at Konohamaru.

After settling on a few more details in the mission, Konohamaru left through the front door in a carefully (and not completely fake) distraught manner, and Naruto used Hiraishin to go home.

Naruto went into his own kitchen and opened the oven door, finding his dinner still warm. He took his plate to the table, and grabbed a note left under a napkin rolled around a pair of chopsticks.

_'__Got a message tonight, Iruka and Kurenai are coming back, bringing kids, stuff and people. Should be here in a week. I'll be sleeping, goodnight'_

Naruto held his excited scream back with his hand. Iruka and Kurenai, along with Asuma's daughter, Motoyo, had gone with the Alliance's first diplomatic mission to the Land of Eternal Summers, four years ago, a trip only possible because of Amachi and Ishoo's presence in Naruto's own continent. Without them consecrating the ships with their blood before it launched, the voyage would have been extremely difficult and dangerous. Over seventy percent of the boats who tried to cross God's Barrier crashed in the gigantic reefs, or were attacked by the enormous sea creatures that dwelled around it. However, with the children's blood blessing, the reefs parted for the Alliance ships to pass.

The couple would bring back more than they had gone with. Kurenai had given birth to another little girl last year.

Naruto was happy to have his extended family back in Konoha, but wondered why the sudden change in the situation. Knowing there was nothing he could do until they actually arrived, though, he decided to leave the issue aside, and went to sleep, wondering if Konohamaru had already been contacted.

Sasuke passed through the door at sunrise, his daughter practically hanging from his back, snoring softly. The Anbu guard carried his bags into the living room and bid him good day before closing the door.

He quietly dropped the sleeping girl in her room and dragged his tired ass to his own.

'At least this time we got to fly back' he thought as he shed his clothes. It had all been smoother this time; no one had bothered them, and the hot springs were clean, so they had all been able to bathe before Sasuke had summoned his birds for the trip back. The area that had been affected by Ishoo's blood had been smaller, also.

He slipped under the covers, whispering a quiet "Tadaima" as Naruto opened an eye.

"Hey" the blonde whispered back, pushing the pillow he had been hugging aside so Sasuke could snuggle him, "how was it?"

"Better than last time" Sasuke replied, and kissed him. " 'm tired, we flew all night", he sighed, making himself comfortable on his lover's arms.

Naruto smiled as he felt a leg being thrown over him. He could tell Sasuke the news later.

_Sasuke was lying on the grass, and baa-chan's kittens were playing around him. He picked up an orange kitten and played with its soft paws until it got mad at him, nipped at his finger and jumped off his belly. He wriggled his toes and the kitten hissed and jumped on his feet, licking and nibbling on his toes, before starting to slowly, sensuously licking the soles of his feet…_

Sasuke opened his sleepy eyes and raised his head to see Naruto licking his feet with feline grace.

"Morning" he said, and yawned while stretching. Naruto didn't answer, only moving forward, licking his calves thoroughly. "Nice to know you missed me so much".

"You taste good. I mean, you _always_ taste good" Naruto amended at Sasuke's raised eyebrow, "but today you taste even better" he nuzzled the back of Sasuke's knee, "smell even more delicious" he licked the back of his thigh, "and I just can't help myself".

Sasuke couldn't say he minded the attention, his skin tingling with every lick, every little nip, but something felt odd. He had always been, as strange as it would seem to people outside their relationship, the one most instinctively turned on to such things as scent, taste and touch, while Naruto was more visually and emotionally oriented. "What does it taste like?" he asked curiously.

"Mhmmmm…" Naruto had moved to the other leg, and was currently nipping at the slightly rougher skin in his kneecap. "Tinny, I think…" he sucked at the inner side of the joint, and purred against the underside of his knee. "Like… you, but… more". His hands moved upwards, hugging his leg possessively while he inched upwards with his tongue.

Sasuke's breath quickened as he saw Naruto stretch his back and shudder against him, moaning loudly. Though Naruto definitely loved when Sasuke sucked, bit and licked him (the man used to joke he felt like the luckiest piece of roast meat whenever Sasuke drew blood with his forceful bites), he was himself always more of a kiss and caress man. Being almost eaten alive like this was something Sasuke wasn't used to, but he quickly realized he enjoyed.

He huffed when Naruto finally reached his hips, licking the joint between them and his thigh in one long motion, and raising them in a blatant invitation. Naruto skirted his groin, though, licking the side of his torso. Sasuke raised his arms so Naruto could move better, and gasped as the man lewdly sucked his armpit, pulling on the few hairs with his teeth.

"Fuck, usuratonkachi…" he breathed, and Naruto gave out a breathy chuckle against his skin, as he moved his body over Sasuke's to continue licking his path upwards. Sasuke lowered his arms, only to have his hands grabbed and firmly set against the futon, their fingers entwined.

He groaned as Naruto whispered "Mine" against his ear, before licking it thoroughly, and sucking under it. He laughed openly as his forehead was licked, and sparkling blue eyes met his before hungry teeth nipped at the tip of his nose, lips kissing it in a silent apology. Sasuke raised his head and offered his lips, which were promptly revered, before his mouth was invaded by a hungry tongue.

The kiss lasted a while, and then Naruto moved off and turned him on his side, lying behind him and nibbling at his nape while searching clumsily behind the futon. He cursed, and Sasuke partly rose to pick up the bottle they kept stashed by the bed with a smirk.

Naruto whined when Sasuke didn't hand him the bottle.

"Shut up and watch, dobe" Sasuke breathed out, pumping the gel on his fingers. Naruto sat immediately; it wasn't often that his lover wanted to put on a show.

Sasuke waited until Naruto was sitting between his legs. He hardly ever did this for him. Not because he was ashamed of anything – their marriage was long enough to have covered all the embarrassing situations that could happen during sex - it was just that, as pleasurable as preparing himself was, what came afterwards was so much more that he usually wanted to get ready as fast as he could.

He started by teasing the opening slightly, closing his eyes and focusing in the pleasure (which for him made topping pale in comparison), and gasping when he finally inserted two fingers inside, yoga having given him enough control over his muscles that he hardly ever felt any pain anymore, and preparation such as this was relegated to the times he and Naruto reunited after being parted for more than a couple of days.

Naruto drooled as he watched Sasuke impale himself on his fingers repeatedly, slowly at first, then more forcefully, rotating his hand around himself, soon inserting a third finger and moaning like a bitch in heat. He couldn't resist picking the precum dropping from his cock on his fingers and offering it to him as he moved over, Sasuke sticking out his tongue to clean the fingers while taking his fingers out of himself and using them to guide Naruto's dick inside him, all the while looking straight on his eyes with a hungry expression.

"Holy shit, gimme a sec" Naruto panted, but Sasuke was having none of it, and pushed himself on his cock, groaning in pleasure at the delicious pressure, making Naruto bite back a yell and pull all his chakra away from his groin in a desperate attempt to hold back.

"Sasuke, you greedy slut" Naruto muttered through his teeth, as he felt some measure of control come back to him. He let the chakra flow back slowly.

"Move it, dead last" Sasuke said in a low voice, leering at him, "and you better give it to me good after all your teasing, or I'll turn us around and ride your dick raw".

Naruto shook his head to clear it a bit, and patted around the futon, reaching his long-discarded shirt and stuffing it on Sasuke's mouth. "Kids are sleeping" he muttered at his angry face, and Sasuke relaxed his features, nodding. Inside the main house there was no use putting up a sound barrier.

Naruto kneed and lifted Sasuke's hips. "So you want me to give it to you good, huh?" He smirked, and pulled out, only to push back in slowly, starting a lazy pace.

Sasuke's eyes rolled up in his head, basking in the slow torturing pleasure, matching his breathing with the slow thrusting, pulling in and pushing out, the movements enhancing the sensations of being filled and emptied, pleasure shooting up his spine and down his legs along his nerves.

He curved his back as Naruto licked his stomach, and wrapped his legs around his waist, while pulling on his shoulders. Naruto smiled and lowered Sasuke's hips, moving over and laving his neck before reaching up and pulling the cloth out of his mouth.

"Shhhhhh" He said, before leaning down and kissing him.

Sasuke moaned, groaned and mewled into the kiss, as Naruto adjusted the angle of his thrusts and slowly began gaining speed, until he was hitting Sasuke's prostate in harsh, quick thrusts, and Sasuke felt the pleasure coiling his guts. He tried to push one of Naruto's hands between them, but his own were grabbed.

"No…" Naruto said, shaking his head slowly. "Not yet." He smiled as Sasuke pouted dramatically, and sucked his lower lip, slowing his thrusts back to a sedate pace. "So tasty…" he murmured against the swollen lips, and proceeded to suck on Sasuke's tongue like it was the last wet cloth in the desert, literally swallowing all the saliva he could.

Sasuke began moving his hips and clenching, trying to get a harder, faster rhythm going. When that only resulted in Naruto groaning and moaning while still sucking on his tongue, he resorted to slapping the blond's ass.

"Mhmmmmmm… oh yeah, slap my ass" Naruto groaned, and Sasuke pulled his head back by the hairs on his nape.

"Stop teasing, deadlast! Did you forget how to fuck?"

Naruto stilled completely, and looked down at him with a smugly amused grin that was met with a scowl and an impatient series of wriggling and clenching movements that turned Naruto's grin into laughter.

Sasuke's scowl deepened. "What's so fucking funny?"

Naruto's shoulders shook while he tried to hold back his laughter.

"You, you impatient nympho." He kissed Sasuke's scowl.

"I'm not impatient; I just want to come sometime this week, you goit. This is not going to happen if you keep moving like a paralitic slug just so you can suck my face longer."

Naruto's eyes slitted. "Oh, so I'm moving like a paralitic slug? Fine, your ice-prickness, tell me what you want me to do, then."

Sasuke pulled him forward and whispered on his ear "I want you to _rip me in half_, usuratonkachi. You can kiss me afterwards. Now _move_." He tugged the earlobe with his teeth for emphasis.

Naruto gasped as his dick twitched with the bite, and got up on his knees, stuffing his smirking husband's mouth with his shirt again. He raised the man's hips up, and gave him a cocky grin.

"Ready?" he waited for the bastard to grab on the futon, and nod back to him, his eyes twinkling with challenge, then pulled out completely, slamming back in with all his weight, and repeating the process over and over.

"MmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMphhhhh!"

Sasuke held on for dear life as Naruto increased the speed of his thrusts, his already very sensitized neurons firing so fast he was sure he'd pass out. And then the blond pulled his hips yet higher, and swallowed his cock.

It was enough for him to begin spasming, Naruto sucked him so hard. Sasuke yelled, screamed, cursed and bit the cloth stuffing his mouth hard enough to rip it. He saw a fleeting thought of supporting himself on his own feet pass by, but his legs were trembling too much, so he concentrated on trying to stay aware enough to keep his inner muscles as relaxed as he could, because Naruto was giving him exactly what he had asked for, and if he tensed, he knew it would hurt like hell.

'Holy shit' he thought, seeing the hungry, dangerous look on Naruto's face as he drilled into him. The dobe fucked him like he held a grudge against his ass, and sucked him hard, looking straight in his eyes. As soon as he realized Sasuke had focused on him, he swallowed, almost strangling the dick in his throat, and Sasuke came, the pleasure seizing him until he did, as feared, pass out.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N**: Thank you everyone for your reviews! Keep them coming please, and any questions you may have :D

Naruto woke up with a kick in his face.

"Ow! What the fuck, teme?" he growled, and scrubbed his eyes. A hastily written note was hanged right in front of his nose. It said, in rather large script:

'**_I AM GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU USELESS, GOOD FOR NOTHING, USURATONKACHI PIECE OF SHIT!_**'

Behind the proverbial death note was a red-faced, fuming, raging, disheveled, teeth-grinding Uchiha-Uzumaki Sasuke.

Now, Naruto wasn't sure, but he thought he recalled the events that had taken place in the morning, and he was pretty sure his disgruntled mate hadn't been complaining then, so he had no idea what had caused the sudden bout of violence. Or the need to communicate in writing.

He scratched his head. "What the fuck did I do now? You weren't mad this morning!" he complained.

Sasuke raised his fists and crouched in anger, then scribbled violently before grabbing Naruto by the hair and showing him an angry red, very swollen tongue, grimacing in pain while at it. He then pushed him away and shoved the new note on his face.

'**_I TOLD YOU YOU COULD _****_KISS ME_****_ AFTERWARDS, NOT FUCKING TRY TO SUCK MY FUCKING TONGUE OUT OF MY FACE FOR HOURS WHILE I WAS ASLEEP, YOU ASSHOLE! I CAN'T FUCKING TALK, HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO WORK?_**'

Naruto tried to remember exactly what had happened, but he felt his memories were hazy at best. All he could remember clearly was that the teme had tasted, smelled and felt damn good enough to eat, and that they had had some damn good morning sex.

His eyes snapped.

"Oh shit. Did I hurt you? I, er, can't remember much of what happened…" he said.

Sasuke started a growl, which turned into a pained whine, which settled into a cat-like, rather high-pitched noise. His nostrils flared, and he suddenly threw up the papers in his hands, slapped Naruto across the head, grabbed him by the tongue and started to drag the Rokudaime by said appendage out of the bedroom.

On the way to the hospital, they met a distraught Kiba standing in front of the Inuzuka compound.

Kiba turned and frowned at the couple, looking from one angry man to the other being dragged by his tongue. He jumped in front of them, waving.

"Wait up you two! Where are you going?"

Sasuke stopped and waved in the direction of the hospital.

"Which one of you is hurt?" Kiba asked.

Sasuke opened his mouth and tried to put his tongue out, grimacing in pain again instead, and pointed at it.

Kiba nodded in understanding. "Um, who did that?"

Sasuke shook Naruto by the blonde's tongue as if it was obvious.

Kiba looked from one to the other again a few times.

"I think it's best if you don't rip his tongue out, or else he won't be much good for explaining, dude."

Sasuke snarled, and grudgingly let go of Naruto's tongue.

Naruto worked his jaw into place, and grunted heartfelt thanks.

"Weird thing, Akamaru went crazy on us when we came back too, we had to tie him up to bring him up here. Can't even try going inside too, all the dogs want a piece of us." Kiba said.

He and Sasuke looked at each other and turned slowly to Naruto.

"What?" Naruto said, starting to backpedal away from them.

When the three men reached the hospital desk, they could see it was recovering from a minor pandemonium. Which was a common occurrence in ninja hospitals, but the number of ANBU around wasn't.

"Oi, what happened? And can we see Tsunade-sama? We have a problem she'd be interested in" Kiba asked the desk nurse. Sasuke slapped Naruto's head so he'd also approach the desk.

"Yo, mutt, what's up? Traitor, Dickless." Sai approached them, nonchalantly. "Say, was Karin with you guys in the last mission you had together?"

The three men exchanged a look and nodded.

"You can leave these three to me, munchkin. I'll take them to Tsunade" Sai told the nurse with a smile as bright and as fake as a zircon diamond.

Sai led them to the underground special psych ward for dangerous cases.

"Karin didn't show up this morning and Tsunade sent for her. She was supposed to turn in a bag of herbs or something" Sasuke and Kiba nodded. Naruto just followed.

"So the thing is, when Shizune got to her apartment, she heard fighting, so she called for backup. Apparently Karin met Juugo last night and they slept together, but things got a _little_ out of hand." Sai continued, stopping by a room. "He's fine, he didn't exactly hurt her… a lot. But he had to be knocked out to get off her."

"What did he do to her? I thought he was good with control, with the meds Tsunade gave him" Naruto asked, his voice still hoarse from Sasuke's revenge on him.

"Um." Sai looked up. "Apparently, he spent the entire night and morning eating her pussy, growling something about her tasting good. Tsunade says she'll be fine, but it'll take a day or two to reduce the inflammation." The ANBU commander opened the door for them. "Please refrain from joking in front of her, she's been violent."

The three men knocked on the door and were ushered in by a blushing Shizune. Karin was standing next to an exam table, looking mighty uncomfortable, but not disabled in any way.

Tsunade was next to her, writing a prescription, and turned angry eyes at them.

"What the hell are you three stooges doing here? Can't you see we're busy?" she snarled at them.

"Um, er, we came here because we think whatever happened to Karin happened to Sasuke too." Kiba answered meekly, only to have a sharp knock delivered to the back of his head by an angry Sasuke, as Tsunade started laughing her ass off at them.

"Damn it, oni-baba, it's not funny!" Naruto grunted, looking dejected. Hurting Sasuke while fighting was one thing, hurting him during sex was another. Especially when he wasn't even aware of what he had been doing.

"Ok, ok. So what happened, brat?" Tsunade wiped a few tears off her face. Karin was still standing to the side, blushing and angry.

"I, er. Kissed Sasuke. Apparently… it kinda went on for a while, and now he's hurt."

Sasuke smacked Naruto's head repeatedly, before pulling a notepad and scribbling furiously on it.

'**_APPARENTLY? THIS IMBECILE SPENT ALL MORNING TRYING TO SUCK MY TONGUE OUT OF MY MOUTH!_**'

He opened his mouth with difficulty, pointing at it. He whimpered as Tsunade tried examining it with a tongue depresser.

Karin came closer, curious despite her own predicament.

"Naruto, what the hell were you thinking? This kind of injury hurts like hell!" she asked, looking at him with a frown.

"I WASN'T thinking! I don't know what the hell came over me! I can't remember most of what happened since I woke up this morning!" Naruto growled, feeling guilty. And freaking out with worry.

Ever since the tailed beasts had been freed he had never gone through this kind of absence spell again. True, they had taken residence in his body of their own will, but they had never taken over his mind. In fact, they hardly ever made themselves known, apparently content in their own company and the occasional times where they went outside in cub form.

He informed that to Tsunade, who, after Kiba informed her of Akamaru's strange behavior, sat down in a corner, thinking.

"So this happened to all of you between the time you came home from assisting Ishoo and this morning. What exactly _do_ you remember doing or thinking, Naruto?" she asked, a contemplative look in her face.

Naruto fidgeted. "Er, uh, uhm." He could not bring himself to mention what exactly had been going on in his bedroom. This was still Tsunade baa-chan, after all, even if she was a doctor.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and scribbled furiously, handing the notepad to her.

She read the note and passed it to Karin. "Seems familiar?"

Karin adjusted her glasses and read it. "Pretty much. What did Akamaru do, Kiba?" she asked, looking confused.

"When we came home yesterday Akamaru was sleeping in his bed as usual. We woke up this morning with him on top of us, slobbering all over me and Hinata like we were human lollipops. He was frenzied, didn't hurt us like what happened to you and Sasuke, but we couldn't control him, so we restrained him and took him up to the compound so Hana could take a look at him… and the dogs there went nuts on top of us too." Kiba looked from Sasuke to Karin, frowning, and then to Naruto, with a sly smirk on his face.

"Oi Naruto… tell me you didn't. You didn't, right?"

Sasuke nodded, and Kiba started laughing.

Tsunade poked Kiba in the head. "How about the brats, anything unusual?"

Kiba rubbed his head. "Actually no, Ashi was still sleeping but Mom said nothing happened."

Naruto looked at Sasuke. He hadn't even seen his kids today yet. Sasuke scribbled.

'**Kids asleep. No issue that we're aware of.**'

Tsunade crossed her arms. "Did you eat or drink anything local?"

Karin slapped her own head. "Duh, I'm such an idiot… yes, we drank the water and ate some fish and fruit, I mean, except the kids, they only drank water and Ishoo-chan drank some miso soup that Sasuke took with him, I don't know if that wolf-thing ate anything, we didn't see it often. But there were animals in there eating the fish and fruit, and I ran a quick test for toxins before we consumed anything, there was nothing wrong with it. Oh, I brought some fruit back too; it's at home if you want to test it."

Naruto immediately went out to inform Sai.

When Sai came back thirty minutes later, Tsunade had collected all kinds of samples from the people in the room, including Hinata, who had come to the hospital summoned by one of the ANBU guards.

Sai, being smart enough for his own good, had used his chakra rats to retrieve the food and put it in sealed plastic to bring it to Tsunade, instead of coming in direct contact with it.

Tsunade asked for Shizune to move half the samples down to her lab and to send the other half to the University, with strict instructions as to the containment measures necessary.

She finally approached the injured Uchiha, and used her chakra to heal as much of the damage as she could.

"Whatever happened seems to be temporary, since we've been here most of the afternoon and Naruto hasn't tried jumping you again. This should heal in another day or two, same as Karin. Try not to talk, drink only cold beverages, don't eat anything too hard, and that includes the baka's dick." She smirked at Naruto, who blushed and looked away. "I'll inform you all of the results as soon as I get them."

Sasuke scribbled on his notepad. '**What about Juugo?**'

"He should be up soon, without issue if his body behaves like Naruto's. His samples were gathered at the same time yours were, and will be tested accordingly. He should be home tonight." Tsunade said.

"I'll go home with him so he won't freak out or anything." Karin said. "I just hope he doesn't run away now… I like him. He's really an adorable guy." She blushed.

Konohamaru was amazed with the enemy's arrogance.

As predicted, he had been quickly contacted. He had purposely sat down on a bar and pretended to get drunk, crying out his indignance at Shikamaru's advances, calling Naruto unfair for employing such a perverted, sick man as his second in command. Soon he was joined by three men, who goaded him on until they offered him a chance of pay back.

He was now sitting at an inn in Ishigakure with the three other insurgents from Konoha, waiting on the people who would supposedly "help bring peace back to the world".

The organization he was infiltrating in used only number codes to refer to their participants. Konohamaru had been dubbed "999.987".

He had asked jokingly if that was the actual number of people in the organization, and paled when the answer had been a simple "Yes".


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N**: Anyone here yet? :D

This chapter will be short, I've fought with it since the last one. It's the set point for the beginning of the end of the story, every time I read one of those 100K + stories I get envious that mine aren't ever that long, but what the hell. I'd rather finish this with a coherent ending than stretch it, and anyways, the story has already finished baking itself. Sad, sad times will be coming, so get ready, this last leg will be a bumpy one. I would seriously like to hear from you what you think of the story so far, so PLEASE review.

Btw, next chapter will probably take a couples of weeks to be done, I've been sick lately and biochemistry is eating up my soul. Anyway, I'll answer any reviews you guys leave.

I'd like to thank maxridelover for noticing the bit about Sasuke. Yup, he is one fucked-up dude in recovery. And that is an important part of this story, coming to terms with growing up, understanding yourself and others, and also what being human is all about.

So, let's move this carriage along, shall we?

Onwards!

Inuzuka Ashi woke up with a loud rumble from his stomach. He groaned, wishing to just sleep the hunger away, but five days without food had turned his stomach into a raging barbarian.

He opened his eyes and gasped at the huge boobs hanging next to his face. A hand covered his mouth before he could let the yell out, though.

"Seriously, mutt-breath, how can you call yourself a ninja when you can't even feel somebody breaking into your room? Shame on you, I should totally tell Kakashi to send you back to the Academy" said a throaty female voice, before the hand was lifted from his face.

He sat up in a flash, his anger showing on his voice.

"What the fuck are you doing in my room, Akimichi? Don't you have a team to harass?"

Akimichi Hariko smirked at him and sat down on the edge of his bed. "I thought I'd better talk to you, seeing as we share interests." She dropped the smirk. "Something is wrong with them, I felt it the days you were off playing guard dog for Ishoo-chan."

"How would you know that?" Ashi asked, sitting upright and scowling at his rival.

"Do you even know how the Akimichi kekkei genkai works, boy?" She answered haughtily.

Ashi blushed. "You store fat to convert it into energy to burn off as chakra and make yourselves bigger."

Hariko laughed. "Yeah, that's what you see. It's not how it works, though, or haven't you noticed I'm not exactly what you'd call obese?"

Ashi frowned, looking at the girl as if seeing her for the first time. Hariko was a short five foot, two inches, but even with her curves she couldn't ever be considered really fat. In fact, she was much smaller in the middle than other kunoichi, although her muscles were larger. If he stretched her to Ishoo's five foot, six inches, he guessed they would look the same. And Ishoo was a healthy 130 pounds.

"How the hell do you pull what you do off?" he asked. Hariko normally used her body as a shield, literally swallowing rescue targets and fighting while protecting them.

She rolled her eyes.

"We Akimichi have perfect proprioception, awareness and control over our bodies. We can alter our metabolism, cell size, secretions, everything. Males need a shitload of fat to do what they do because they use offensive tactics. We females have a different hormonal make-up, so we're better suited for defense tactics that use less chakra, and don't depend so much on fat storage to work."

"That doesn't explain how you can tell something is wrong with Koishii."

"Of course it does. I know exactly how the body works at all times. When I look at someone I can gauge their nutritional state, health status, hormonal status, and any abnormality, just like you can smell that in them. Or could, if you trained yourself appropriately." She explained with a smirk.

"What's wrong with them, then?" he asked glumly.

"You should have noticed. I had only Amachi-kun to watch it happening to, but it seems they're spending more energy to do the same things they did before. I sparred with Amachi-kun a few times this past week, and the effect his energy has on my body was stronger. Considering you guys came back quicker this time, I assume the same is happening with Ishoo-chan."

He nodded. "I thought it was because they were both awake this time."

"Nope, if that were true Amachi-kun would get tired more easily. It looks like he doesn't even know what's happening. I think the bodies are doing it by themselves. It looks like it does when fruit ripens. Haven't you noticed ANYTHING?"

Ashi shuffled through his memories. They were always hazy when the Ookami came, but he remembered a nagging smell on the back of his mind.

"I remember… the smell before the rain." He said, cautiously.

Hariko's face fell for a moment, and then she shook her head, and gave him a determined look.

"Get dressed. It's time I show you what I've been working on."

Naruto woke up early, and kissed Sasuke's brow softly before quietly leaving the bed. He would do anything to escape the bastard's righteous wrath today. It had been bad enough yesterday, with the man having to work by proxy, receiving and sending written messages even at the Council meeting. Which he had been forced to attend, seeing that the Chuunin exams would be hosted in a week, and the ITR had been responsible for some of the more specialized tests. Naruto had gone home with his head sporting a number of unsightly bumps, courtesy of his angry husband.

The concoction Tsunade had made Sasuke chew on for most of the day had undoubtedly tasted as foul as it smelled, and that, combined with the worry that coming home to still sleeping kids wrought, had almost landed Naruto on the couch for the night. Altogether, yesterday had been pretty much as shitty as days could get, so Naruto had decided to do whatever he could to make today better.

He quietly opened the door to the kids' bedroom, to find it empty and clean. He frowned. The kids were much more orderly than he had been at their apparent age, but they had never been neat freaks. This morning, their bedroom seemed almost unlived in.

He went on to the kitchen, to find that breakfast hadn't been started yet, and nobody was in, so he went outside, and was pointed to the roof by the ANBU in watch.

The teens were sitting quietly, watching the sunrise.

"Hey" Naruto said softly, sitting beside them.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Ishoo said.

"Yup." He agreed.

"How do you feel about adopting another kid? It's getting kinda old being the single child." Amachi asked casually.

Konohamaru wasn't afraid.

He was _terrified_.

The organization was huge. The amount of civilians in it was ridiculous. Apparently, half the continent had it up to here with ninja and Daymio not only charging taxes but warrying all the damn time and making life difficult for everyone.

They had fallen like suckers for the tales of equality and power for everyone that the leader, a man from Eternal Summer called Krieg, who had taken over the Land of Swamps, fed them through underground publications and "charitable donations".

Which were basically loot from all the ninja villages and capital cities in the west that had been already destroyed by the man's army, and instead of being distributed amongst the population of the same countries those villages and cities had been in, were catalogued and sent to the poorest vilagges in the Earth, Wind and River nations, to lull the civilians into the movement.

It had been highly successful. Many fallen ninja clans had converted to their cause, too, along with an immensely large number of criminals and rogue-nin.

It would be all fine and dandy, if this Krieg character's plans didn't involve killing everyone that went against his ideal. Which was basically overthrow all the Daymio, kill all ninja who wouldn't submit and take away all chakra from everyone, to supposedly "make all men equal and happy as the gods intended". The means with which this was to be done were not disclosed, only mentioned as "an ancient device".

Konohamaru could smell the bullshit a mile away. No one would amass such power as all the chakra in the continent to throw it away; the temptation to use it for one's own means would be irresistible. Even Naruto, who had been working tirelessly after the war to bring peace by changing people's minds, not meddling with power or warrying against anyone else, had been caught, even if in a small fraction, by the temptation of superiority after being made Hokage.

Konohamaru had been thoroughly interrogated as to Konoha's defenses, and especially about the Chuunin exams' security detail. He had explained that, since Orochimaru's invasion, the teams undergoing the exams were kept under high security and that only the Kages and the ANBU envoys of the ninja villages with participating teams were informed of the exam details. The village hosting the event kept a high level of secrecy, with only the high ranking ANBU detached for the task knowing where, when and what kind of exams would be taken.

He had then been dismissed and sent back to Konoha to wait for further orders, without much fanfare.

It bothered him greatly. Surely the organization knew that he was the Sandaime's grandson, Naruto's pupil. He had been wary of the dismissive way he had been treated after presenting himself to join the cause and being interrogated, so he hadn't warned anyone of his return, waiting to be contacted. He knew Sai would find a way to do so without raising suspicion.

Kurama was fed up with Naruto.

Not that Kurama being pissed off at Naruto wasn't a normal occurrence, but the jiinchuriki's selective perception of his kit's situation nowadays was driving the fox up the walls. Humans in general had this ridiculous ability to just shut off whatever was in their face to escape what they believed was unavoidable pain, but Naruto had never been like that.

Naruto had never believed he couldn't do anything about something. He had always rejected reality's facts and substituted it with his own.

And now he wasn't doing that. He had just smiled and shuffled the kit's hair when he had been asked about getting another child, like it didn't _mean_ anything. Like he didn't _know_.

Well, if Naruto was going to just let Nature run its course, Kurama sure as hell wasn't.

He had had plenty enough of the kit's suffering, and if no one had enough balls to do what was needed, he would have to step up. He had taken the matter to the other tailed beasts, and after beating some sense into the more conservative heads, he had gained their support.

So it was an angry Kurama that knocked Naruto's mind out and stepped forward, as the Hokage entered the house again.

He walked back out the door and motioned an ANBU over to him.

"Tell Shikamaru and that boy Sai to deal with whatever there is to do today. Do not disturb me and my mate unless the entire village goes up in flames. Understood?" he told the sentry, and walked back in after the man left in a hurry.

He quietly took off Naruto's sandals, walked his body to his bedroom, took his clothes off and laid the body out beside his mate, touching the sleeping man's navel with the tip of a finger. Then he let himself out of Naruto's body as unobtrusively as he could, in his chibi-form.

The fox concealed his chakra and left the house, running by the shadows and hoping the Uchiha would respond in the expected way, so neither of them would notice anything.

He couldn't have his jiinchuriki meddling in his affairs. Especially today.

Today, Kurama would face a god.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N**: And we're in the first part of the last leg of this journey. To everyone who's been following this story, I'd like to thank you for bearing with what yes, is an unusual fanfic. This saga is what I needed to write to tie up all the loose knots that bother me in Kishimoto's Naruto, not only about Naruto and Sasuke's love story - though their love is the river that carries all fates together.

Please read and review - your reviews and constructive criticism are crucial for me as a writer to give you better stories, and for you as readers to have better stories to read.

Onwards!

* * *

><p>Sasuke stretched and put his arm around Naruto, bumping into an interesting hardness and finding himself horny.<p>

If he were thinking clearly, he'd probably notice the unusual quiet around the house, or the distinct lack of the smell of fresh coffee. However, his hormones seemed to have woken up before him, so all he could focus on was the seemingly sleeping blonde next to him with a tasty-looking erection.

He slid over Naruto's body and nuzzled it, making himself comfortable as the blonde thighs opened for him quietly.

The body is an amazing construct.

Even though it does need a mind to function completely, and the soul is the base from where the mind develops, it is still alive and reacting on its own when the mind isn't aware.

And those reactions can be controlled.

So it was that even if Naruto was sound asleep, his mind knocked out by Kurama, his body reacted as if he were somewhat awake, thus fooling Sasuke (who wasn't completely aware of much himself, thanks to Kurama having stimulated his sexual energy point with chakra).

* * *

><p>Shikamaru nodded to the sentry and got inside the Hokage's home, frowning at the silence.<p>

"Naruto? Sasuke?" He called, moving into the home and sighing at the Hokage's lazyness. Iruka and Kurenai were already waiting at the Hokage tower to brief Naruto of their voyage's results, along with a series of people from Eternal Summer that had traveled along, he couldn't just decide to take a day off.

"Go away" a loud voice said in a monotone.

He knocked on the main bedroom's door.

"Naruto? Everyone is waiting for you, get your lazy ass up… seriously, man, you're worse than I am…" he called in with a tired voice.

He heard a wheezing sound and dropped to the floor as a Rasengann blew the door out, splinters falling over him.

"What the fuck" Shikamaru started, getting up.

"Amate-" he heard, and ran.

Shikamaru stopped outside the main door, panting.

"Yo"

Shikamaru raised his head to see the twins sitting quietly in the roof, looking amusedly at him.

"You guys know what's going on?" He asked, taking notice of their quiet, serious faces.

Two heads shook, and the teens jumped down.

"Iruka back already?" Amachi asked. Shikamaru noticed Ishoo avoided looking directly at him.

"Yeah. You wanna come with me and get the news? I'll fill a report so Mr. Whipped can read later" he joked, and the boy nodded quietly.

The three of them left, Shikamaru musing at the flash of pure green he saw as Ishoo glanced sideways at him.

* * *

><p>Sasuke licked a drop of cum that oozed over the side of Naruto's cock, and nibbled at the tip, earning himself a moan and a shudder.<p>

He felt his own hardness ache, as Naruto's legs rose and the blonde opened them lewdly in invitation. He pouted.

Oh well. Waste not, want not, right?

* * *

><p>Sai entered Konohamaru's apartment and dropped the henge he had made to disguise himself as the new tenant. He had rented the apartment under disguise as soon as his agent had been "reported as missing-nin".<p>

"Report" he asked the figure sitting in the dark.

"I haven't found out much, but I believe the enemy will attempt something at the Chuunin exams. What exactly I don't know, but I'll bet on something huge. Swamps doesn't even care to hide much of what they're doing. Their leader's objective is very ambitious, but they have the numbers to pull a coup wherever they want." Konohamaru said in a low voice.

"How large is his support base?" Sai asked, taking notes on a scroll.

Konohamaru shuffled a bit before responding.

"About a million people, if we trust what they said to me."

Sai dropped his scroll on the ground. "What? There can't be a million people in the continent, man. They have to be lying."

"There are a lot of people from Eternal Summer with them, probably from Omungo, including their leader apparently. The man won't show himself to underlings. From what I gather they've been infiltrating civilian villages and bribing them with financial support. Many destitute ninja clans from the west have jumped on their wagon, and they've been convincing the civilians to join the fight. If the enemy's tactic is the same we've seen when they took over Demons, we'll be in a lot of trouble. Those people from Omungo have no issue with sacrificing large numbers in battle."

Sai grimaced. Swarming was Omungo's preferred strategy: hide a few talented assassins in the multitude and drown the enemy under a tide of bodies.

If the enemy had half of its supporters in condition to serve in battle (and Omungo had no qualms with sending anyone who could walk to battle, regardless of age and sex), the remaining ninja nations would be drowned in blood. The last collective reports had measured the entire population east of Suna as a meager two hundred thousand, the number of ninjas reaching about a quarter of that, and only if they counted all the retired and genin forces.

The ninja alliance might count with the Bijuus' power, but even so, ten to one was horrible odds, and those weren't inhuman white Zetsu, they were people. Men and women like them, old and young.

"What's the leader's public objective?" Sai asked.

"They say this Krieg figure, that's the leader's name, has an ancient device that can suck out chakra and restore everyone to what we were before Kaguya ate the Shinju tree's fruit. Apparently he means to overthrow all governments, take over the continent and use that to make everyone quote equal end quote" Konohamaru responded in a leering tone.

Sai snorted. "Yeah, I've heard that bullshit before too. We'll prepare, then. I trust you'll be undercover still and wait for their further orders?" he asked, and Konohamaru nodded.

Sai nodded, and signed the jutsu so the information would reach the Hokage's office. He then henged back and left the apartment.

* * *

><p>"You idiot, we can never get our hands in that amount of chakra! It will be impossible!" Ashi screamed when he finished reading the numbers on Hariko's calculations.<p>

The girl scowled and slapped his face with such strength, the Inuzuka fell on the floor face-first.

"And THAT is why I've always despised you, you fucking Chihuahua! All bark and no bite!" she spit at him. "I show you we can keep the one we love alive and all you say is impossible this, impossible that! **Impossible is just an opinion**!"

Ashi stood up and scowled back at the Akimichi girl.

"At least I'm not insane! I love Koishii, I have tied my fate to them, have protected them, have given my body to the Ookami, have done **ALL I FUCKING COULD** for them, don't act like that's not worth anything!" he snarled.

"You've done _ALL_ you could? I have found a way to _KEEP THEM HERE WITH US_, to make them _HAPPY AT FUCKING LAST_! All you fucking _DO_ is help them **DIE**, I am helping them **LIVE**!" She screamed, pushing him away further inside the old Uzumaki ruins' basement.

"And how the fuck do you propose to get that much fucking chakra to do it? You'd need the fucking nine Bijuu to do that, and that might not be enough!" Ashi screamed back, getting ready to push her back.

"**_Excuse me. Did I hear you say we Bijuu can help save the Shinju kit?_**"

Ashi and Hariko turned and saw a human-sized, half-humanoid Kurama standing with a hopeful look by the broken window.

Hariko gave Ashi a triumphant look. "Yes!"

* * *

><p>The small party was sitting on the Hokage's office when Shikamaru and the Hokage's twins arrived.<p>

"Ishoo! 'machi!" Motoyo screamed and jumped to hug the twins. They hugged her back and waved to the other people present.

B saluted the kids. "Where's your pops? I thought they was gonna properly welcome us to-day! Been expecting Naruto to keel over seeing mah tan, eh!"

Both B and Iruka were as dark as Amachi, and even Kurenai had a healthy tan. She held a chubby toddler who was looking curiously at his sister, who had perched up the twins' necks, legs holding them together.

Along with the Konoha ninja was a wizened red-skinned old lady wearing colorful clothing made from dyed cotton, and long gray hair arranged in twin braids, who knelt in front of the twins, kowtowing to them.

Shikamaru gave Iruka an alarmed look at that deference, and the chuunin cleared his throat as he moved close to Shikamaru, who crossed the room and stood behind the Hokage's desk.

"This is the emissary from Osun's University of Medical Sciences and Merging Research, Tamaya-sama."

Amachi smiled.

"That's a fitting name for a fitting role. Welcome to the no longer Forsaken Lands, Tamaya-sama" the boy said.

"Tamaya means "in the center" in her people's language, and Forsaken Lands is how the people from Eternal Summer calls our continent." Iruka whispered in Shikamaru's ear.

"She doesn't look like the usual people from there do" Shikamaru whispered back.

"Many nations in Eternal Summer were formed by clans who disagreed with Kaguya and escaped to Eternal Summers so not to be, as they say we are, '_broken_'. They were the only ones from the Kaguya opposers who weren't exterminated by our ancestors." Iruka explained.

"Thank you, Ayawamat." The wizened woman said, and rose, smiling. "I see the Forsaken's luck is strong, for you carry both. May death be only the beginning." She bowed and stood beside Kurenai.

The doors opened and Tsunade came in, heaving.

"Where's Naruto? The tests are ready and we think Ishoo is…" she stopped when she saw the twins in the room.

Ishoo turned to her and smiled sadly, letting her burning green eyes show. "I know. We both are."

Shikamaru paled.

* * *

><p><strong>AN 2**: Tamaya does mean "in the center" in Quechua. Ayawamat does mean "One who follows orders" in Hopi; in this particular case, the orders are the gods' will.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N**: Sorry for the short chapters, my cats are both ill (male has diabetes and female just got a total mastectomy done yesterday), so I've been writing in spurts. As always, please read and review, any questions you have I'll be happy to answer.

Oh, and yes, that's one of the reasons Naruto and Sasuke don't show up on this chapter. Don't worry, they'll be back soon. You can just imagine what mood they'll be in when they realize what happened.

* * *

><p>Hariko watched Kurama storm through the scrolls with a twinkle in her eyes. It was the first time ever she had someone who could comprehend her family's knowledge and her often misjudged intellect so easily.<p>

The fox had gone through all her three years of work in less than two hours. He'd sometimes stop with a vacant look in his eyes, one ear twitching, before he continued. After analyzing all the figures, graphics, calculations, sketches and chemistry formulas (which she had had to dumb down to the Chihuahua's basic level), he had asked for an empty scroll, a piece of charcoal (having looked at the large soft-leaded pencil she handed before taking it into his somewhat clumsy furry claws) and something to blot it with, not even looking when she handed him an equally large rubber eraser.

Akimichis had learned early on to store differently sized writing utensils so they could use them whatever size they might be at the time.

"Um, Kurama-sama? How come the Rokudaime doesn't know you're here?" Ashi asked, raising his hand like a schoolchild.

"I knocked his mind out and stimulated his and his mate's sexual chakra gates to keep them busy." Kurama said calmly.

Ashi stared at him with his mouth open.

"Good call" Hariko said. "Effective and easy to cover up if you need to."

Ashi looked at her as if she had grown a second head.

"What?" she asked.

"That's… that's manipulating them without consent!" Ashi said.

Hariko looked at him with contempt in her eyes.

"Are you sure you're a ninja?" she asked in a mocking tone, and he blushed, refraining from pushing the subject further.

"Your ideas are impressive, but I see a few miscalculations here" the fox pulled a scroll closer to him and pointed to it, "and here".

"Told ya it was impossible" Ashi mumbled, and Hariko threw an ink bottle on his head.

"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT IMPOSSIBLE BEING JUST AN OPINION? STOP YAPPING, LAP DOG!" She yelled, and even Kurama cringed.

The fox was impressed with the Akimichi girl. He had noticed through Naruto's thoughts and conversations with him – the man talked about everything and everyone, and since the fourth war had made it a point to make Kurama acquainted with at least the story of the people he himself held dear, and this being Naruto meant that Kurama knew more about the village and its inhabitants than he actually cared to - that she existed – and also that no matter how detached his Jinchuuriki's child kept their emotions, that they loved both her and the Inuzuka boy at least as friends – but she had always seemed just another friendly and non-remarkable Leaf ninja from a lower elite clan.

He wondered if that was a front her clan had set up to keep curious eyes away from their secrets. The Akimichi were famous for being gluttonous but generous (they openly helped the needy and many a hungry family had been silently over the ages), very friendly simple folk, and that made people underestimate them a lot – a mistake, Naruto had often told him and he had seen for himself at the war – that was costly to enemies.

Akimichi Hariko was anything but simple.

Before scrutinizing her work, Kurama had asked her intentions and motives to help Naruto's child, and she had shown a knowledge about them that could not have come from simple friendly interest.

She had observed and realized the child was in fact one person without anyone telling her, and she had been drawn in by their no-nonsense view of life, and also by their unshakable sense of duty. She had also seen how emotionally clouded were the Inuzuka boy's (who had loudly protested and thus proven her point) actions were when in regards to the twinned child, and had taken to herself the duty to be the rock that could balance the Ookami vessel's immature love.

She was immensely stubborn and completely ruthless when it came to her beloved's well-being and happiness; her family's nindo, to share and be compassionate in both plenty and hunger, and their physiologically complex kekkei-genkai were, as the Inuzuka's, older than Kaguya's coming, and they had quietly kept the traditions that had, as the girl said, made them Hotei's messengers (the fox wondered then just how many ancient ninja lines had come from the ancient acolyte clans openly renegating their faith but keeping their traditions in secret, perhaps waiting for the day where the rule of chakra fell and the ancient deities came back to embrace their forgotten children).

"I know their duty is to serve the gods' will, and I respect that. But everyone needs to be happy; you can't just spend eternity being hurt without reprieve. Pain and suffering breaks the hardiest soul if it isn't balanced with comfort and happiness, and even though I know they love and are loved by the Rokudaime and Sasuke-sama, and by us… I know they have never been able to truly be with them, or us. They aren't able to be fully human because of the nature of their bodies and the toll their duty takes from them. I can see the cracks too, Kurama-sama, and it's a cold wind that seeps through them." She told him with a determined voice. "The Chihuahua here can love them enough to follow them anywhere and protect them in a practical sense, but he's too stupid" and here the boy had growled at her, but she didn't acknowledge him, "to think about a way to restore them and give them the relief they need not to break completely."

"It is not impossible, but it will be a very complex procedure" Kurama said after congregating with the other Bijuu, "and we might need to be a little… creative with the resources we do have, besides…" the fox looked at the Inuzuka,"we need to consult the gods to see if they will allow such a meddling with the laws of reality."

Ashi looked at him with a doubtful look.

"You Bijuu want to ask the gods' permission to do something? Aren't you supposed to be apart from them or something, what with the whole Shinju mess and the Sage having created you?" the boy asked.

Kurama laughed openly, a deep, rumbling noise.

"Even such deviant creatures as us are more intelligent than to meddle in the gods' affairs and their chosen vessels without permission. Do not think us stupid only because the beings who brought us into existence as individuals were ignorant and reckless, boy. Now if you please, time is of the essence, and the Ookami is the only god we, due to your present condition, have access to" the fox motioned to him with an expectant look.

Ashi's eyes went round. "Oh wait you two, I don't know how to call upon the Ookami! Both times it was Koishii's lifeblood that made him come, don't you look at me like he just shows up at my beck and call!" the boy exclaimed, waving his hands in front of him.

Hariko sighed and facepalmed.

"Ashi-baka, sometimes I think you keep your brain in a jar somewhere in fear of spending too much of it. The gods have been back in this part of the world since Ishoo came into being, they're everywhere, idiot. You are the Ookami's vessel, call him and he'll come."

"How the hell am I supposed to do THAT, whale-hips?" Ashi taunted.

Hariko stood up from the floor, walked over and hit him upside the head.

"PRAY, STUPID! GODS, DIDN'T YOUR GRANDMA TEACH YOU ANYTHING?"

* * *

><p>Shikamaru made a small motion for Amachi when Sai's paint rat came through the window and relayed his message in a blank scroll. The boy moved from where Tsunade was currently being introduced to the foreign scientist.<p>

"I know this might be a little too much for you at the moment, but with the Rokudaime being regrettably, er, otherwise occupied" the black boy raised his hands noncommittally at that,"in this critical moment, I need you to join me and Tsunade in the Council room for a bit. Sai may be there already." Shikamaru said in a low tone.

"That little bother I've pointed out the other day?" Amachi asked.

"Yes. Apparently it was larger and more troublesome than we thought" Shikamaru answered, looking worried at the present company.

"Hn. Don't worry about them, I'll keep them busy while we talk, and I'll brief Oyaji later, it's not like he'll mind." Amachi said with a smirk.

"Boy am I going to miss your ability when… shit" Shikamaru cringed, "sorry."

Amachi snickered. "Don't be, it's a pain in the butt but it is damn useful." He followed Shikamaru as the second in command approached the Godaime.

"Tsunade-sama, can we have a moment with you please? So sorry to interrupt, Ishoo-chan will show our guests to their quarters." Shikamaru gave her a pointed look and she quickly bade goodbye to the assembled company.

Iruka sidled over to Ishoo. "We'll file our detailed reports later, then. Tell your dumb father we miss him, and to come over if he can" he gave her a compassionate look. "We missed you."

She hugged him. "Good thing you came back in time. Tou-chan will need you, and Papa too. But don't get sad, ok? You'll see me chuunin yet." She whispered in his ear, letting him go with a genuine smile.

She kissed Kurenai and the kids, promising to see Motoyo the next day, and motioned for the foreign guests to follow her.

When they reached B's quarters, the giant silently picked her up and hugged her for a long time. She hugged him back strongly.

"Stay for the chuunin exams, uncle B?" she whispered to him as they hugged.

"Of course I will. Gonna make me proud, then we'll party loud" he whispered back, kissing her cheek. "My little niece all grown up, tell Naruto to come rap later, B out, peace!" he sang, closing his door.

Ishoo and the foreign scientist walked silently to the elder woman's appointed quarters.

Tamaya bowed deeply.

"May the gods repay your sacrifice tenfold. My team and I will start preparing for the merging to come." She entered the room, and Ishoo left.

* * *

><p>At the Hokage's home, the two lovers slept deeply in each other's arms, blissfully unawares of the world around them.<p> 


End file.
